DEAR HARRIETTE: During Hurricane Sandy, a friend moved in with me because he lives in an area that was greatly damaged. His apartment has no windows or power. He has been living with me for two weeks and will continue to stay with me until he gets his power back and windows repaired.

He is driving me crazy. I love the guy and want to help out, but I need some space. He hasn't respected my things, and his work hours are the opposite of mine, so he's always coming home late at night. He makes dinner (using my food!) and is loud and dirty. My apartment is small, and everything can be heard.

I want to be a good friend, since he doesn't have a place at the moment, but I didn't think he would be such a problem. I don't know if I can last another week with him. What do I do? -- Cramped, New York

DEAR CRAMPED: Rescuing your friend during this tragic time was a wonderful act of kindness and humanity. But being kind does not mean that you throw away house rules.

You need to have a talk with your friend about expectations in your home. Start by telling him that you have been happy to help him out, but that now you realize you need to lay out some guidelines for how you want him to act while he stays with you. Tell him that you want him to respect your things, and define what that means. If you don't want him to use certain items, say so. Tell him you expect him to contribute to the groceries. Also acknowledge that your place is small and that since your hours are different, you would appreciate him being quiet when he comes home from work so you can get your rest.

Ask how long he thinks he will be without power. You two may have to set a time limit on how long he can stay. Perhaps he can be with you a bit longer and then you can help him find another place to stay.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am trying to expand my baby-sitting business. I haven't baby-sat for some families in a while because some have hired full-time nannies, or my schedule has not coordinated with their schedule. However, I am still available to do certain times and during the weekend.

If I were to call or write a letter to the families I have baby-sat for, asking them to recommend me to other families, how would I go about that? What should I say so they know I am not abandoning them? -- Expanding My Horizons, Flint, Mich.

DER EXPANDING MY HORIZONS: Call your former employers and tell them that you have the time and want to add more baby-sitting work. Ask them if they need any help. And ask them if they would write you a letter of recommendation that you can use to solicit jobs from other families.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am doing a group project with my school about a store. My classmates and I were video-recording how people react to certain items. While doing our research, we recorded someone shoplifting. We didn't realize it till after the woman had left the store, but we have her face and the action clearly recorded. What we were doing isn't necessarily legal because we aren't a part of the store. Should we tell the store manager, or leave it be? -- Gotcha, New York

DEAR GOTCHA: It is your civic duty to share that videotape with the store manager. Go into the store with your group and ask to speak to the manager privately. Explain that your group was in the store working on a school project. Apologize for not informing the manager about your project earlier. Explain that you want to share the video footage with the store because you recorded an incident of shoplifting there.

Show the footage and give a copy to the store manager. It is likely that you will have to speak to the police and share your findings with them, too. The store should consider this a blessing. In the future, though, request permission in advance to conduct a study in a public or private setting outside of your home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt told me there is something going on in our extended family that will affect everyone. She says that it has to do with one particular family and that the news will come out in the next few months. She left me with a huge cliffhanger.

I know it's not my right to ask questions, but I am going insane thinking of every possible situation (death, cancer, divorce, etc.). Fear is taking over my thoughts. I can't wait any longer, and I don't know what to do. How can I make peace with this situation? -- Worried Niece, Cincinnati

DEAR WORRIED NIECE: I wonder why your aunt chose to give you such a cryptic message? I understand that some people feel that they have premonitions based on knowledge they think they have. But this presumed knowledge is often just that -- presumed.

On the other hand, your aunt may legitimately know some news that has yet to surface. If so, it was wrong of her to tease you with such an ominous prediction.

Go to your aunt and ask her what she is talking about. Tell her that you don't mean to pry, but you have been worried sick since your last conversation. Ask her directly if you should be concerned about a family member's health, safety or well-being. Suggest that if she doesn't want to share her suspicions with you, she may want to speak to one of your parents or another elder in the family.

If your aunt will not budge, tell one of your parents and ask for their guidance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a gallery opening two months ago and met a beautiful woman. We spent the entire night talking to each other, and when the evening was over, we exchanged numbers and decided to go on a dinner date.

Since our initial meeting, we have been on eight dates. Everything seemed fine until she told me that she is three months pregnant and that the baby's father is in jail for two years. She is still interested in having a relationship with me, and I don't know what to do. -- On the Fence, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR ON THE FENCE: This woman is in a tough situation. It's time to get serious.

Sit down and talk to her about her circumstances. Ask if she loves the father of her child and if the two of them have been talking about being a family when he is released from jail. Learn what you can about their relationship before she got pregnant.

You need to be as clear as possible about her intentions before you commit your heart to this budding relationship. If you want to be in a relationship with her, make sure she has the emotional ability to also be committed to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy your columns because you always give good advice. However, your advice regarding the person who expected her brother to pay for the "favor" done in helping him find a tailoring job was wrong, in my opinion.

The writer offered to bring her brother the items to be hemmed and to deliver them back to the customer. Now she is angry that she wasn't offered payment for her help. It was her offer in the first place. An offer of help shouldn't come with a hidden price tag, if helping is what you truly are attempting to do.

If someone offered to help me and then afterward expected cash for it, I would be hurt and angry. The writer said she believes she is supportive of her family, but it appears this help comes with a price. -- Not Greedy, Chicago

DEAR NOT GREEDY: I agree with you that the best gift is one that's given freely. In this particular case, the writer was the sibling of a man who had been in deep financial trouble and who had received multiple loans from the sibling. The writer felt like she should have been offered some compensatory pittance, given that she had been overwhelmingly helpful and finally her brother was getting a little money.

I believe she misunderstood her brother's thinking. I doubt he intended to overlook his sister. He was simply trying to take care of himself and dig out of a hole. Repayment of the loans she made is best handled as a separate conversation.