DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband just started a new job a few months ago. He has gotten three paychecks so far. The last one bounced, and when he went to his boss to say something about it, his boss got an attitude. He then recovered and said that the company was having lean times and couldn't meet payroll.

This is crazy. We count on my husband's job, and every penny is important to us. Plus, he earned it. His boss promises to pay him, but he's not sure when. Should my husband sue the company, or quit and find another job? --Bounced, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR BOUNCED: Slow down. Of course this is disconcerting. No one wants to receive a check that bounces.

Your husband should do some research on the company to learn as much as possible about the state of the business and its financials. He should speak to his boss to get a schedule for when he will be reimbursed and ask if the next paycheck is expected on time.

If things seem too precarious, your husband should look for another job, but he shouldn't quit until he finds one. Instead, he should do his best on his current job and see if his performance can possibly contribute to strengthening the bottom line. He should show his boss that he believes in the company and doesn't want to give up. But he should also be practical. If no money is coming around, he should cut his losses soon.

Suing, while an option, may end up costing you and your husband money that you do not have, especially if the company is broke.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was talking to a new colleague at a lounge the other day. We exchanged email addresses, which was nice. The next day, I got an email from a woman who was sitting near us and overheard us talking, but who wasn't at all part of our conversation. She asked if I would like to hang out with her sometime. She reminded me of how we met -- because we were sitting near each other (however, not talking).

I felt like that was creepy. She basically stole my email address by eavesdropping. I don't want to talk to her. How should I handle this? -- Creeped Out, San Francisco

DEAR CREEPED OUT: You can ignore the woman's email altogether. Since you didn't give your address to her, you can delete it and let that be it. If you see her again and she brings it up, just shrug it off. You can say you didn't give her your email address.

Another option is to respond and thank her for the invitation but decline it. If she writes back, you can tell her that you did not give her your email address, and you hope she will not use it again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call from one of my former employees who intends to apply to business school. I am so happy for her. I remember her as being a very nice, consistent person. She did a good job when she worked for me, but it was so many years ago that I don't remember details.

I immediately agreed to help her, but now I'm at a loss. Is it wrong to ask her to remind me what she did when she worked with me? I am embarrassed that I don't remember. -- Forgetful, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FORGETFUL: By all means, contact your former employee and ask for highlights of her experience with you. You need not be embarrassed. She is reaching out in hopes that you can help her cross a significant hurdle in her career. If she's smart, she will be thrilled that you asked, because it gives her a chance to tell you the things that stood out for her and that she thinks are relevant for this school.

In the future, you may want to keep notes on your employees and write synopses for yourself after they leave so you don't have to rely upon memory.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A woman I know fairly well, whom I call a friend, told me that she just had major surgery. She didn't reveal what it was, but during the course of the conversation, I figured it out. I didn't ask her any questions or let on that I knew, because it's none of my business. What's weird is that she seems to want to keep the details secret, but she keeps talking about her recovery.

I'm not sure how to support her. I don't want to get too deep in her business, but when she keeps saying stuff to me, how do I respond and keep her confidentiality? --Sensitive Subject, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR SENSITIVE SUBJECT: You may want to ask your friend how you can best support her. You can be a friend by bringing her food, flowers or a good book, and by occasionally calling to make casual conversation that doesn't prompt her to provide too much information.

She may be someone who appreciates a good listener. In that case, you can agree to be a silent sounding board. If she starts to ask for your input, you can ask if she really wants to talk about her condition or if she's just venting. You can also change the subject if you feel that either of you has crossed a line.

Recovering from an illness or major surgery can be traumatic, and not just for the person who underwent it. Loved ones can suffer as well. You can take care of yourself by recognizing how much information you can hold onto before it feels like a burden.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event the other night where I was invited to give an award to one of the recipients. I told the event organizer that I could do it as long as I could leave soon after. I have a young child, and I had to relieve the baby sitter. She assured me that it was fine.

But when it came time to leave, I realized it was going to be very awkward to get out, because I was all the way in the front of the room, and there was never a break in the program. Dinner was served, and people were eating as the awards continued to be given out.

I slipped out after a bit, but I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone at my table. I couldn't figure out how to exit gracefully and politely say goodbye at the same time. Was I wrong in stealing away quietly? What could I have done differently? -- Clumsy Exit, New York

DEAR CLUMSY EXIT: It was better to leave discreetly, especially since it was in the middle of the program. You are right that it would likely have been disruptive to interrupt your tablemates to say goodbye.

You did the right thing by informing the host. The other possible action you can still take is to send follow-up notes to the event organizer and to any of your tablemates whom you know, telling them how nice it was to be at the event and that you apologize again for leaving early. Congratulate anyone who received an award and turn the page. You did the best you could.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a constant complainer. Everything is a problem, it seems. I have listened to her for years, and now I tend to drown out the sound, because it's endless. I even began to limit our conversations in recent years because it's hard to take all of the complaints.

I spoke to her this week and, much to my surprise, she informed me that she just had major surgery. It turns out that one of her complaints for all these years was a major internal problem that no doctor could figure out. The surgeon discovered it only after operating on her for something else.

I feel bad that I doubted her, but honestly, her complaints wore me down. Should I apologize or just attempt to start listening better? -- Tired of Crying Wolf, Seattle

DEAR TIRED OF CRYING WOLF: It's a blessing that your friend got the medical attention she needed to deal with a long-term illness. You can acknowledge that. I would leave the rest alone.

You call her a complainer, likely because she complains about other areas of her life, too. You are not her psychologist. Rather than stepping into that territory, you can stay in your lane and, as you said, try to be a better listener.