DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to an event the other night where I was invited to give an award to one of the recipients. I told the event organizer that I could do it as long as I could leave soon after. I have a young child, and I had to relieve the baby sitter. She assured me that it was fine.

But when it came time to leave, I realized it was going to be very awkward to get out, because I was all the way in the front of the room, and there was never a break in the program. Dinner was served, and people were eating as the awards continued to be given out.

I slipped out after a bit, but I didn't get to say goodbye to everyone at my table. I couldn't figure out how to exit gracefully and politely say goodbye at the same time. Was I wrong in stealing away quietly? What could I have done differently? -- Clumsy Exit, New York

DEAR CLUMSY EXIT: It was better to leave discreetly, especially since it was in the middle of the program. You are right that it would likely have been disruptive to interrupt your tablemates to say goodbye.

You did the right thing by informing the host. The other possible action you can still take is to send follow-up notes to the event organizer and to any of your tablemates whom you know, telling them how nice it was to be at the event and that you apologize again for leaving early. Congratulate anyone who received an award and turn the page. You did the best you could.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a constant complainer. Everything is a problem, it seems. I have listened to her for years, and now I tend to drown out the sound, because it's endless. I even began to limit our conversations in recent years because it's hard to take all of the complaints.

I spoke to her this week and, much to my surprise, she informed me that she just had major surgery. It turns out that one of her complaints for all these years was a major internal problem that no doctor could figure out. The surgeon discovered it only after operating on her for something else.

I feel bad that I doubted her, but honestly, her complaints wore me down. Should I apologize or just attempt to start listening better? -- Tired of Crying Wolf, Seattle

DEAR TIRED OF CRYING WOLF: It's a blessing that your friend got the medical attention she needed to deal with a long-term illness. You can acknowledge that. I would leave the rest alone.

You call her a complainer, likely because she complains about other areas of her life, too. You are not her psychologist. Rather than stepping into that territory, you can stay in your lane and, as you said, try to be a better listener.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I witnessed my classmate shoplift yesterday. She had invited me to go with her to the mall, and I went. Hey, that's what we teens do after school. I like this girl, but I don't know her really well.

I was shocked to see that she put something in her purse and walked out. I wasn't sure what to do.

I called her on it, and she said it was "light stuff." I'm upset. At the least, I want to step away from her, but she has a big personality. How should I handle this so I don't lose all my friends? -- Angry, Salt Lake City

DEAR ANGRY: Be happy that you are not a shoplifter. It can be a sickness for people. Who knows what your classmate's reality is?

It's good that you already addressed the situation with her. Broach the subject one more time, and tell her that her shoplifting is a deal-breaker for you. You like her, but you do not condone that kind of behavior. Tell her that you don't intend to broadcast what she did to your group of friends, but you hope she will get the help she needs to start making different decisions.

As far as the other friends go, you have to make a decision. You can choose to keep the theft secret and let the cards play out as they will. Or you can privately speak to your closest friends and let them know that you and the other girl have experienced a rift and that you hope it will not affect your friendship. No need to describe the rift. Just get on the front end of it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a freelance gig that was good for twice a month for several years. I did a good job and got great feedback from my bosses. But then new management came in, and I don't get calls anymore. My freelance gig is done. I'm so sad about it. And I don't know if I have a leg to stand on to retaliate. I have called a few times to see if there's a role for me, but I haven't even gotten a response. Don't you think that's rude?

Is there anything more I can do? I get that new management sometimes means the end of the status quo, but I never thought I would be a part of that. -- It's Over, New Orleans

DEAR IT'S OVER: How about another approach? Ask your former boss if you can get a recommendation for the work you did together. This may open up a dialogue. If the person realizes you have been pushed out but cannot do anything about it, chances are the recommendation letter will be filled with flourishes.

Though it's hard to do, I strongly recommend that you attempt to not take it personally. Of course your feelings are hurt, but it may not be about you. Do a self-evaluation on that point. And get your letter to help forge what's next for you!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been going to a therapist for about a year, and I'm not sure what to think of it. She has been helpful, in that now we argue less and are more civil to each other. That's a blessing. But I don't think we like each other that much. We hardly do anything together. I don't think that's how life is supposed to be.

We have two kids who have noticed the strain in our relationship, although they probably think things are better since we aren't arguing. I don't know what to do. Therapy is helpful, but I'm left with tons of questions.

Should I give up now? And if so, how do I walk away when I have kids? -- Sinking, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR SINKING: Do you think you can have a civil conversation with your husband and talk about how you are feeling? If you are considering leaving your marriage, can you tell him that, and why? Even if you decide to break up, you need to talk it through because you have children.

Tell your husband you want to have an honest dialogue about your future. To the best of your ability, stay calm. Ask him what he's thinking, share what's in your heart and be direct with each other. Being honest about your raw emotions could open up a discussion that allows the truth to be heard. This may be the way to open the door to whatever is next.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I've wasted my life. I work in a job I hate, and I've worked there for more than 20 years. I know this is a terrible time to change jobs, but I feel so stuck. I want more for my life, but I'm not sure how to get it. I never got married. I have a few friends, but not many. I am bored and disappointed in myself. -- Fed Up, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FED UP: Work is not everything. You don't have to change your job to find happiness or excitement. Instead, consider upping your extracurricular activities.

What do you like to do? Are there things you have never done that appeal to you? Take some vacation time to do something you have always wanted to do but never dared or had time to consider. Invite someone whom you like but don't know well to lunch, drinks or dinner.

As for work, go there with a new attitude. Be grateful that you have a job. Look around to see if there's anything you can offer that would ensure more job security for everyone. By serving your company, it's likely you will become more appealing to your employer and, in turn, become more interested in your job. It's called an "attitude adjustment." Try it.