DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep waking up in the middle of the night worried about random things. It definitely has been stressful at my job recently, and I can't say I have handled it the best. Plus, my boyfriend has been less than nice (understatement) when I feel like I need him the most.

I'm a wreck. Please don't tell me to get a therapist. I can't afford it. I do need to do something. What can I do to help myself? -- Sleepless in Seattle

DEAR SLEEPLESS: Carve out as much stillness as you can. When you are at work, give your best effort. Stop trying to get your boyfriend to do anything, since he's unable to satisfy your needs right now. Make your home a safe place. Turn off the TV. Turn on soothing music. Take a bath every night when you get home. Drink water and herbal tea. Recite affirmations that you can find happiness and that you deserve it. This will help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read your column in the Chicago Tribune, and I would like to comment on your response to the letter from a writer who listened to her friend tell a bald-faced lie.

Your suggestion was to call him out in front of others. How could you possibly think this was the proper thing to do? It doesn't matter whether or not he was lying, and it is not up to his friend to embarrass him in front of a group of people. Humor certainly wouldn't have applied in this situation, either.

I really have a problem with people who are insensitive and who would humiliate someone in the presence of others. This is a matter where the letter writer should speak privately to the person who is not telling the truth. Think about it: Would you like someone to call you out on anything -- it doesn't have to be this scenario -- in front of a group of people where it makes you look like "2 cents waiting for change"? -- Concerned, Chicago

DEAR CONCERNED: I do not promote insensitivity or humiliation. I do promote honesty. Depending on the nature of the lie that is overheard, I maintain that the most honorable thing to do is to say something in the moment.

I have observed people say and do nothing when someone has told lies or been mean, generally because they didn't want to embarrass anyone. I think that following peer pressure to be quiet and wait for a private moment sometimes has big repercussions. It's not smart for a whole group to remain misled because no one will speak up to clarify the truth.

Of course, there are ways to correct people without humiliating them. Tone has everything to do with how a message is received. If not humor, one could use concerned curiosity. "Jim, I don't think that's exactly how it happened," or, "I heard that scene go down differently." The point is that the group should not sit by and allow inaccurate or hurtful information to go unchallenged.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got an email from someone asking me to participate in a business project with him. He said he was referred to me by a woman with whom I used to work. She did not reach out to me. He did directly. I signed his nondisclosure and have been inching toward working with him, but something seems off. First of all, he doesn't seem business-savvy. But since she referred him, I want to give him a chance. Am I wrong to do that? -- Unsure, Shreveport, La.

DEAR UNSURE: Right after you heard from this man -- and before signing a nondisclosure -- you should have called your friend to check his references. Just because he said she recommended him doesn't mean it's so. This man could be borrowing on your friend's name.

I prefer referrals to be direct. If I refer someone, I pick up the phone or send an email and say as much.

You are where you are. Stop now and contact your friend. Find out what she knows about him. Even more, trust your instincts. If you don't think he's a match for you, move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I like your common-sense advice and enjoy reading your responses in the Chicago Tribune.

I had another thought about your answer to "Cold Feet" (the man who broke it off with his fiancee because she was unwilling to help take care of his children). We don't have both sides of the story, and he doesn't specify who ended the engagement. It could have been the girlfriend because he may have expected her, as a female, to take over parenting duties and was trying to cut out the mom.

I say that as a legal aid attorney who has represented mostly women in divorce/custody cases for almost 25 years. I am also a stepmom with a very close relationship to my husband's daughter. I did lots of "kid duty" when she was small.

You were right to praise "Cold Feet" for putting his kids first, and I hope that's the case, but something didn't ring quite true about his letter. -- Skeptical, Chicago

DEAR SKEPTICAL: I have received a number of letters regarding this situation. Your voice is an important addition.

It is possible that this man was not being fully forthcoming. Custody battles can be intense, calculating and ugly. Let's hope that's not the case here.

I maintain that any potential spouse of a parent with children must accept responsibility for supporting the children emotionally and more.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is trying to marry me off every chance he gets. I asked him why he was so concerned about my personal well-being. His response was, "You're a good guy, and I don't want to see you alone for the rest of your life."

I know he means well, but how do I tell my friend to slow down and quit trying to get me married? -- Not in a Rush, New York

DEAR NOT IN A RUSH: I've heard a lot of women with your complaint. Loved ones worry about the "good guys" and "good gals" who are single, often thinking it's unfair that they are alone. I'm sure your friend means well, but he has stepped into your business.

Be direct with him. Tell him that although you appreciate his concern and respect, you are comfortable as you are. If you choose to add more, you can explain that you are trying not to jump into anything before it feels right. You may have other reasons as well.

What's actually more important is for you to give clear thought to why you are single. Are you content with your choice? Do you want to find a partner? If so, what's standing in your way? Finances? Living conditions? Health? Go deep in your contemplation to figure out if anything is holding you back from seeking a partner. If so, examine that.

You don't need to report all this to your friend, by the way. But this could be a wake-up call for you to evaluate your life and make a conscious decision about how to proceed regarding dating. Food for thought, eh?

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter has a teacher who is toxic with her speech. She never gives her students any positive affirmations when they answer questions correctly or when they express their dreams for their lives. I tell my children that if you dream big, you can do anything your heart desires. All I want is for my daughter's teacher to express the same feelings toward her students.

How can I address my displeasure with the performance of this teacher? -- Unhappy Mom, Salt Lake City

DEAR UNHAPPY MOM: Start by requesting a meeting with your daughter's teacher. Tell her that you are concerned about some of the things you have been told about how the class is functioning. Be careful not to place blame. You want to learn what her position is and not put her on the defensive. Also, as much as you trust your child, her interpretation of what's going on in the classroom may not be fully accurate.

So tell the teacher what you have heard and, more, what you want for your child. Ask if she would be willing to notice positive characteristics and behaviors in your daughter and point them out. Tell her that you are counting on her to motivate the students.

Can you get her to instill your values into your child? Maybe. If the school shares your values, you may be able to enlist support from the principal. But your particular approach to teaching values needs to remain your role. You cannot force the teacher to teach your lessons.