DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a falling-out with my best friend. I was so angry with her that I stopped all communication. She hurt my feelings badly when I was already feeling bad about myself.

A year has passed, and I miss her. I reached out to her the other day and left a message. She hasn't called me back. I don't know what's going to happen. I'm not sure how to proceed. What do you recommend? -- Lonely, Jersey City, N.J.

DEAR LONELY: It sounds like you never talked about what happened between the two of you to cause the chasm. I think that to move forward, you are going to have to address it head on.

Reach out to your friend again via email and invite her to have lunch or tea or something with you. Tell her you want to talk. This way she knows that you are being serious and friendly at the same time. It will be her decision whether to respond; you cannot make her come back into your fold.

Revisit in your mind what happened between the two of you and decide if you can forgive her. If you can, it will be easier to talk about your friendship if the opportunity arises -- what damaged the friendship and how you two can move on with greater ease.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I produced an event and got a ton of support from generous people. One person who said he was sponsoring my event came back afterward and told me that I owed him a lot of money because more people attended than we had anticipated and he couldn't absorb all the costs. This was never our agreement. I don't have the money he is requesting. I also don't want him to feel that I somehow swindled him. I didn't. I honored our agreement. How can I handle this so it doesn't escalate? -- Stretched, Chicago

DEAR STRETCHED: Thank this person for his support of your event. Tell him that you will do your best to make sure that others know how much he contributed so that it will benefit his business in the future.

Remind him of the agreement that you two made -- an agreement that didn't include you paying for his goods or services. I trust that you have something in writing that outlines your agreement.

If he has a valid point -- that the event's attendance far exceeded the numbers that were stated when he signed on -- you may want to do your best to absorb some of the costs. He may honestly also be stretched in his effort to satisfy the needs of your event. An offer of help would be a sign of good will that may prove worthwhile, even if you have to make a plan to recoup some of his funding over time.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My brother was laid off from his job about a year ago, but he really isn't talking about it. The other day I ran into one of his friends from back home. When the friend told me that he had tried to call my brother at his office and was told he didn't work there anymore, I slipped and admitted that he was out of work. I feel so bad, because I didn't want to expose my brother.

This guy says he wants to reach out to my brother because they were close years ago. I didn't know what to say. I didn't give him my brother's number. I took his. Should I give it to my brother and tell him what happened? I think he's going to be really mad at me. -- Exposed, Washington, D.C.

DEAR EXPOSED: I understand your desire to protect your brother's privacy, but don't beat yourself up so much. Your brother's childhood friend figured it out himself when he called your brother's former office and learned that he doesn't work there anymore. You could have been vague about your brother's current situation, but it's natural that you may have been unsure as to what you should say.

Your next step is to contact your brother. Check in to see how he's doing. Tell him what happened when you ran into his old friend. Make sure he knows that his friend wants to be in touch, and share his friend's number. The end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is invited to a birthday party, and the invitation says he should NOT bring a gift. My son is a little bit upset about that, because he's very close to the child and wants to give him something special. I'm wondering if it's OK to give the boy something small and inexpensive, or if doing so would be disrespectful of the parents' wishes. -- Giftless, Shreveport, La.

DEAR GIFTLESS: Call the boy's mother or father and explain your son's reaction. Ask if it would be all right to give the boy something. Perhaps your son could make a gift for the boy. That may be acceptable to the parents, because the sentiment is far more important than the act of buying something.

Many families are opting to do this these days, in part because children end up having way more things than they have time to play with. Toys, games and dolls sometimes pile up without the children truly valuing the items. This family may have taken this approach to teach their child to value shared experience more than stuff.

Another practice that is growing in popularity is having guests bring a gift that will go to charity rather than to the child. My daughter attended a party like that, and she was concerned about what the birthday girl would receive. The mom explained that her family would be giving her one very special gift, and not to worry.

DEAR HARRIETTE: After my twin girls started kindergarten, the school officials gave them a test to see if they could be skipped to the first grade. One of my daughters passed the test and was able to go to the first grade, while the other did not pass.

I would like to give a gift to the daughter who passed the test. What should I do? Do I give each girl a gift for trying her best? Or do I just reward one and not the other? -- Momma Drama, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR MOMMA DRAMA: I understand your desire to celebrate your daughter's success, but I recommend that you look at the situation differently.

Each girl has been put in her perfect grade, where she can learn best. Without giving gifts, you can honor each of them by having a special family dinner or other small gathering at which you acknowledge the right fit for each of them.

You don't want your daughters to be overly competitive with each other, or for the one who remains in kindergarten to feel that she has been left behind. Because they are twins, they are often together. Perhaps this will become their opportunity to go their individual ways, without one way being better than the other. Instead, each path is best suited for each girl.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-wife came to an event that I co-hosted recently, and with a man other than her husband of five years. I was shocked to see her, but even more alarmed to see her all hugged-up with another dude. I know she's still married. We have mutual friends who keep me abreast of certain things, even though she and I have been apart for years.

It was awkward. I wanted to ask her who the dude was, but it's not really my business, so I left it alone. It's eating at me, though.

I know that when she broke up with me, she had already started hanging out with another dude. Now she comes up in my space flaunting this new one. My stomach hurts. Should I try to find her husband and school him on this? -- Uncomfortable Observer, Los Angeles

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE OBSERVER: As tempting as it may be to get in the middle of your ex's mess, resist the temptation! This is none of your business. It is strange, though.

I'm sure you have already asked yourself why she chose to come to your event in the first place, and with a man to whom she isn't married. Could it be that she is trying to get you all worked up? If so, don't buy into it.

Clearly, you two got divorced years ago for a reason. Let that reason stick, and chalk this experience up to being odd. Don't fuel the flames by reporting back to your friends about what you saw. Drop it.