DEAR HARRIETTE: The "Maturing Too Fast" mom (whose husband wanted their daughter to cut ties with a 9-year-old friend who had started her period) is on the right track. Please use this as an opportunity to discuss the subject with your daughter!

For a variety of reasons, girls seem to be entering puberty sooner, and the better prepared the daughter is, the less traumatic it may be. Not allowing her to associate with her friend anymore is just strange! Where is this dad coming from?

Unfortunately, I had parents who were incredibly uncomfortable with the subject -- I never had "the talk" from them. I knew basically nothing about sex or sexual maturity until I was rudely and horribly awakened to it when I started being abused at age 9 by a trusted person. I had no clue what was going on, only that I thought it was probably wrong.

After three years, I was finally able to tell someone, and in the meantime, my older sister, not my mom, had explained menstruation to me. Had one of them figured it out, or had I felt like I could talk with my parents about "those things," they may have realized what those first instances of spotting actually were -- signs of abuse. Not that I am suggesting it in this case ... I am only strongly urging this mom and dad, and others, to talk to your kids! The more you talk with them now, the more likely they are to come to you with their problems in the future. And notice I said "talking," not lecturing or berating.

I struggled to talk with my daughters about this. I used books, online help and all the resources I could find to help make it easier. Not talking about things with your kids doesn't make the subject go away. It only makes them more likely to not include you in the loop of their life. -- Survivor, Salt Lake City

DEAR SURVIVOR: Parents should talk to their children about their developing bodies, about boundaries, and about appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Creating dialogue when children are young helps them feel confident about talking to parents about anything as they mature.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There are far better ways to prepare young girls for getting a period than a five-minute talk (the norm under managed care) by a pediatrician! That "talk" is not a one-time-only discussion, nor should it be solely limited to bodily functions. It should involve values and advice about a girl's body, and can allow even woman-to-woman humor.

My granddaughters loved American Girl dolls, and my daughter-in-law found an American Girl book, "The Care & Keeping of You." It's written for 8- to 9-year-old girls. My oldest granddaughter got her period at age 9, so I was glad she'd been prepared this way.

The point is not to hand a girl such a book and walk away, but to use it to open up discussion and allow questions. "Maturing Too Fast" should start by having her reluctant husband read the book to bring him into the 21st century! He should know that his daughter already knows girls at school who have their periods. She needs two parents who can deal with it helpfully, as adults. -- Prepared, Chicago

DEAR PREPARED: Using a book as a tool to engage in meaningful dialogue is smart.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was walking down the street and noticed that many groups of people -- three and four deep -- didn't move out of the way at all. If I hadn't moved, they would have run right into me.

I was so disturbed by this. The sidewalk is not meant for one group of people versus another. I was always taught that if you are walking in a group or even by yourself, you pay attention so there's room for everybody. People are so rude these days. Part of me wanted to keep walking and bang into them. Shy of that, what else could I have done? -- Ruffled, Harlem, N.Y.

DEAR RUFFLED: I'm sorry to say that I know exactly what you are talking about. I have witnessed it many times.

I think people have become oblivious to others in many circumstances. Being self-absorbed can cause all manner of uncomfortable situations when people are walking, including the straight-up rudeness you experienced.

What can you do? Upon approaching such a group, you could say in a loud voice, "Excuse me!" That could be an alarm for the others to move over a bit. You could even say, "I need a little room, please." But the truth is that people who aren't paying attention or who feel entitled to take up the whole sidewalk may remain unaware of you.

As tempting as it may be to bump into others who are taking up room, I do not recommend it. I witnessed such an incident the other day. Two men were walking on a crowded street and didn't make space for another man who was walking toward them. Instead, they bumped into him. He dropped his bag, doubled back and started a fight.

Readers, take a moment and ask yourself if you have ever been at fault in a situation like this. If so, pay closer attention to your surroundings. And make the conscious choice to share space with others rather than presuming that the sidewalk belongs to you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I went to a party and ran into a woman who had on the exact same dress as me. I was mortified. Worse still, she wanted to hang out with me all night and take pictures. No way. I'm not a fashionista or anything, but I do like to have my own style.

Was I wrong to not want to hang with her? She's not my friend or anything. She was a guest at the event just like I was. -- Body Double, Washington, D.C.

DEAR BODY DOUBLE: I would be uncomfortable if I ran into someone dressed identically to me at a party, and I certainly wouldn't want to become her instant twin as a result. You were perfectly right to want to move on. It could be that the twinning was her way of dealing with an awkward situation.

Your choice to enjoy the party without her was a perfectly fine option as well. (I'm glad you didn't go home and change. It's better to keep it moving and have a good time.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been in a relationship for a year now, and at one point was engaged to my girlfriend. The engagement ended, and I moved out. We still see each other, but there is one big issue that tore us apart: my kids.

I have three kids from a previous marriage, and they are truly good kids. I work midnight shifts and have a 50/50 arrangement with my ex on the kids. My 16-year-old has helped me a ton with watching my 11-year-old and 7-year-old. When the kids are in school, it usually works out that they are home by themselves only when they are asleep. However, when they're not in school or on the weekends, they are home with me while I sleep during the day after working all night.

My girlfriend, who was going to be my kids' stepmom, told me it is not her responsibility to watch or have the kids when I am asleep or at work. She is adamant about the kids being with their mom and not her. It really feels as though she doesn't want to establish any connection with the kids.

Is it wrong of me to expect her to help with the kids if she is in a stepmom position? -- Cold Feet, Racine, Wis.

DEAR COLD FEET: When you have children and you want to enter into a new relationship and possibly marriage, it is imperative that your partner not only wants to build a relationship with your children but actively works at it. The reality is that anyone who enters into a pre-existing family has to be willing to be a part of the whole family.

I'm glad to know that you are choosing your children first. This woman doesn't sound like a healthy match for you. You and your children are a package deal. If she doesn't like the package, she's not the one for you. Sorry.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Telemarketers can be annoying and have a frustratingly uncanny knack for always calling at the family times that are the most disruptive. The best way to deal with them is not to deal with them at all!

I agree with you that we must always try to be parent-citizen role models of civility and respect in communications, even in fielding telemarketing calls. (After all, they're just doing their jobs.) But I suggest to you and your readers a much better alternative: Go to the National Do Not Call Registry (managed by the U.S. Federal Trade Commission) at www.donotcall.gov (888-382-1222) and register to opt-out your home and mobile telephone numbers. It takes a little time before calls begin to ebb, but it works. Then be sure to update the registry to stay off the telemarketers' lists AND enjoy your family dinners in peace! -- Savvy, Wilmette, Ill.

DEAR SAVVY: Thanks for this tip. I would like to add, on behalf of many readers who wrote in, that hanging up on telemarketers doesn't actually work. When you speak to someone, be sure to tell the person to take you off his or her list. That can help as well.