DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently graduated from college and received a B.A. in psychology. I have plenty of experience working with youth and in counseling, but I believe I am ready to try other options. How can I land a job in a new field, even though I do not have any related work experience? -- Branching Out, Chicago

DEAR BRANCHING OUT: I don't think your timing is right. You have just invested time and money in preparing for a particular career path. You even focused your energies on youth and counseling within the field of psychology.

As a recent college graduate, it's natural for you to seek employment in the field for which you have prepared. That does not mean that you have to stay in this career forever. More, it means that you are using the skills and experience you have gained to take care of yourself and expand your intellectual abilities.

I recommend that you look for work in your chosen area AND look for internships or after-work activities where you can volunteer and gain experience in a new field that interests you. The best way to move from one area of interest to the next is with a plan that includes learning everything you can about the new subject. You need to receive further education in your newly chosen area, just as you received formal education while in school.

So, take a deep breath. Stay your course for now. And seek out opportunities to expand your knowledge.

DEAR HARRIETTE: At my second job, there is an older guy who works the night shift at the security desk. Every evening he greets me with flirtatious comments and smiles at me intensely. After work, he often walks me out of the building and extends invitations to go out for drinks. How do I let him know that I am not interested and that he is making me uncomfortable? -- Working Day and Night, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR WORKING DAY AND NIGHT: Speak to him formally. Call this gentleman by his surname -- "Mr. Johnson," for example -- rather than by his first name. Thank him for ensuring your safety, then state directly that you are not interested in dating him. I know this may seem awkward, but some people need to be told directly.

You can go a step further and explicitly tell him that the way he looks at you makes you uncomfortable. Tell him you appreciate that he takes his job seriously, but ask him to back off on the personal front.

If he continues with the flirtatious looks and comments, report his behavior to his supervisor. Someone at a security desk should not be making employees feel unsafe. He is not doing his job correctly if he makes you feel this way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I did a friend a favor and hired her son to do a little extra work for me, and I'm really disappointed in his performance. He agreed to do the work but has been dragging his feet. He doesn't respond to my emails in a timely manner. Generally, he seems really lax about it all. I feel like an idiot. I didn't have to hire him. He needs extra money, so I thought I was doing him and his mom a favor.

I don't want to pay him now for work that he has hardly done. How do I handle this? -- Burned, Chicago

DEAR BURNED: Step back into your professional posture. How would you address this with any other employee? That's the way to approach him.

First, go directly to the young man and ask him for a status report on the project. Find out what he has accomplished and what is outstanding. Ask if he wants to continue with this project. If so, give him specific guidelines for how you expect him to complete the work at hand, including timelines.

If you do not believe he is capable of or interested in completing the work to your satisfaction, terminate his services. Pay him for what he has completed, not for the whole project. Also, call his mother and explain the situation so that she fully understands why you have taken this position. You will be doing him no favors to accommodate his bad performance.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A long-lost relative just showed up in my town. I have never known her very well, but she called and was so excited to be in touch. I know she is my cousin, but I feel weird about getting together since it has been years since we last saw each other.

How can I make a potentially awkward situation more comfortable? She, by the way, seems perfectly at ease and even happy about us getting together. I feel bad that I haven't kept in touch with her. -- Feeling Awkward, Seattle

DEAR FEELING AWKWARD: Take your cue from your cousin. She's not looking backward. She's excited to see you now.

Allow her positive energy to be contagious. Make a plan to get together for lunch or dinner. Be open to learning about each other and about how your lives have evolved over the years. Assume the positive, namely, that you two are destined to get to know each other better since you are now in the same town.

This could be your chance to gain a cousin. Just as some friends can become close after years of not being in touch, so can family members become significant in your life when the moment is right. Trust that this is possible.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got into a huge argument with my father-in-law about the presidential election. We are on opposite ends of the political spectrum, which is fine by me. But he refuses to have a reasonable conversation about any of the topics that have been coming up in the news. If his candidate says something, it's true in his mind, no matter what. I don't necessarily feel that way. I want to talk about the issues, and I want to understand his side.

How can I make it clear that I want to have a lively debate with him rather than a contentious argument? -- Political, Washington, D.C.

DEAR POLITICAL: It is good to have healthy discussions about something as important as the presidential election. I wish more Americans would pay attention to the political issues that are being discussed and be willing to share their informed views.

The reality, however, is that even for people who are paying attention, it can be difficult to have productive conversations with others who have different views. Just watch the pundits and politicians on TV. They stick to the party line, often regardless of what is being said or asked of them.

There is a small chance that your father-in-law may soften and discuss politics with you, but don't count on it. If you go back to him and get only fury rather than a volley of ideas, stop. You may want to find others who are willing to talk with you and debate views.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My neighbor's daughter just got her period, and she's only 9 years old. Everybody in her family was shocked, and so were we. We have an 8-year-old daughter who doesn't even know what a period is.

My husband suggested that we not let our daughter hang out with the neighbor girl anymore, because he doesn't want our daughter to lose her innocence yet. His idea was that if the two of them aren't around each other, our daughter doesn't have to deal with this grown-up subject.

I disagree. I think the little girl would be devastated to be abandoned by her friend immediately after this dramatic shift occurred in her body. Also, I think this is a time to introduce the subject to our daughter and explain it to her.

I don't want to go against my husband. How should I handle this? -- Maturing Too Fast, Chicago

DEAR MATURING TOO FAST: I agree that you don't want to abandon your neighbor at such a pivotal time. Also, you cannot shield your daughter from the realities of growing up, no matter how hard you try.

Suggest to your husband that you teach your daughter about the changes that naturally occur in a girl's body instead of having her learn from another source.

Contact your pediatrician and ask for suggestions on how to address this topic. This may include taking your daughter for a regular visit and having the doctor assist you in talking about how the body grows and transforms.