life

Disruptive Snoring May Have Medical Basis

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 27th, 2012

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend constantly complains that I always snore while sleeping. I can tell this bothers him a lot. I feel as if I'm disrupting his otherwise peaceful sleep. What can I do to make our nights more comfortable? -- Nocturnally Noisy, Chicago

DEAR NOCTURNALLY NOISY: Snoring is a challenge for many couples. In some cases, it can be so bad that couples decide to go to separate rooms to get uninterrupted sleep. That could be an option, but it doesn't address the real problem.

Snoring is a symptom of several health conditions, and you should find out if you have any of them. Go to the doctor for a complete physical, and tell him or her about your snoring. Before your appointment, ask your boyfriend if you snore more frequently or loudly at particular times -- after drinking alcohol, when you have a cold, after you have eaten certain foods, when it's hot or humid in your bedroom, etc. The more data you have about your sleep patterns, the more helpful you can be to your doctor.

The doctor will evaluate your health and treat you if needed. He or she also can give you general recommendations for sleeping more quietly and soundly.

For now, make sure your head is elevated. You also may want to sleep on your side rather than on your back.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 18 years old and have always been average weight -- not too skinny and not too big. Recently, though, my weight has been seriously fluctuating. When it's time to eat, for some reason I am always severely hungry. This is a problem, because I have gained a significant amount of weight.

Everyone around me always reassures me that I am not big and that I look normal. But I strongly disagree. I want to be healthy, I want to be fit and I want to be skinny. How can I watch my eating habits? -- Uncomfortable in My Skin, Bronx, N.Y.

DEAR UNCOMFORTABLE: It's time to make an appointment with your internist. Get a complete physical, and be sure to explain what has been happening with your diet and your hunger issues. Talk to the doctor about any stress you may be experiencing and any major changes in your life, and about how you feel overall.

Verify how much weight you have gained, and ask your doctor to help you understand why this may be happening. Your friends are not experts on your body. While you may actually look good right now, if you feel that you are not eating in a healthy manner, you should get help right away.

Ask about working with a nutritionist. It's possible that with a professional's help, you can learn how to eat in a way that's right for your body.

life

Electric Bill Is Hot Topic for Roommates

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 25th, 2012

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have two roommates. Because it has been hot, we got another air conditioner. That's all well and good, but the electric bill has skyrocketed. I guess that's natural, but we didn't take that into consideration, and we can't afford to pay it. We literally don't have enough money. We also need to have electricity. What can we do? -- Keeping Cool, Brooklyn, N.Y.

DEAR KEEPING COOL: The good news is that your power company will work with you on a payment plan. Immediately get on the phone with a representative and explain your situation. Ask the utility company to establish a plan that allows you to pay down the bill over time.

In the future, be mindful of how often you use your air conditioners. Turn them off when you leave your home, and turn on only the ones you absolutely need when you are at home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got paid for a big job the other day and immediately put the check in my bag to take to the bank. It was raining that day. I had to go get my umbrella, and it was just a mess. I got a little undone because of being excited about the check and the crazy weather.

When I got to the bank, I couldn't find the check. It has disappeared. I am so embarrassed. I need to tell my client what happened. How should I go about that so that I don't look like an idiot? -- Check-Free, New Orleans

DEAR CHECK-FREE: Immediately contact the finance department of the company that issued the check and ask that a stop payment be placed on the check. There is a chance that someone else could try to cash it. Apologize for losing the check and ask that it be reissued.

You are not the first person to whom this has happened. It's likely that the finance office has had to reissue checks before. It may take awhile for the office to give you a new check, and there is a chance that you will be charged a stop payment fee. In the end, though, if you don't let the company know what happened, you completely lose. Don't let your embarrassment stand in the way of your hard-earned compensation.

life

Family of Dementia Patient Can Use Help

Sense & Sensitivity by by Harriette Cole
by Harriette Cole
Sense & Sensitivity | August 24th, 2012

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently learned that a college friend is suffering from early-onset dementia. She is only 53 years old. It is so sad for her and her family. Some friends from college want to do something for her and her family, but we are at a loss for ideas. I can only imagine that it must be tough on her husband and children. We don't want to pry. How should we go about offering support? -- Well-Intentioned, Washington, D.C.

DEAR WELL-INTENTIONED: I'm sorry about your friend's condition. Early-onset dementia is so frightening because it takes people by surprise.

You are right that her family is suffering, and they likely are constantly trying to figure out how to take care of her and of one another. When people become ill, whether from dementia or other conditions, their friends often stay away because they feel awkward and don't know what to do or say. You are doing the right thing to figure out how to be present during this tough time.

Reach out to your friend's husband and ask him if there are any specific tasks that you and your group of friends can take on. Suggestions include cooking meals, taking the children to their recreational activities and cleaning the house. If your friend's dementia is advanced, perhaps you and your friends could volunteer to sit with her while her family takes a break. By giving her husband specific ideas, you make it easier for him to respond.

Let him know how many people have expressed their desire to help. Ask him if they are in need of financial support as well. Sometimes a few dollars from a lot of people can be tremendously beneficial. And for friends who live out of town, financial contributions are a convenient way to help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family spent the weekend with another family, and mostly we had a good time. We did run into some friction, though, because the other family has two daughters who fight all the time. They are constantly bickering with each other and even hitting and poking. My daughter ended up in the middle of their feuds a few times, and it got ugly in terms of arguing and shoving. Both moms stepped in and got the children to apologize. But it was exhausting.

I’m wondering how we should handle this moving forward. We all like one another and want to spend time together again, but I don’t want my daughter to suffer because of these ill-behaved children. -- Protective Mom, San Francisco

DEAR PROTECTIVE MOM: Often families with two children have to deal with bickering. Children constantly vie for power in such family dynamics.

You are right to protect your child from such feuding. Teach your daughter to speak up for herself and to move out of the way when the other girls are going at it.

Additionally, speak to the other mother and express your concern about the ongoing volatility between her girls. Tell her that your daughter is feeling uncomfortable and that you want to do all you can to help calm things down. Ask for her support.

In future weekends together, you can plan activities during which all the children are not together. For example, you and your daughter could take a walk or otherwise separate yourselves for a spell.

Finally, you may want to consider shorter visits. Day visits rather than weekend sleepovers may make the experience more manageable and pleasant.

Next up: More trusted advice from...

  • Last Word in Astrology for May 18, 2022
  • Last Word in Astrology for May 17, 2022
  • Last Word in Astrology for May 16, 2022
  • LW Worried Sister's Sharp, Stubborn Personality Will Ruin a Good Thing
  • Husband Plays Buffer with Non-Accepting In-Laws
  • Great-Grandparents' Gifts Are Out of Step with Great-Grandkids' Ages
  • Aiding Animal Refugees
  • Contented Cats
  • Pale Gums: What They Mean
UExpressLifeParentingHomePetsHealthAstrologyOdditiesA-Z
AboutContactSubmissionsTerms of ServicePrivacy Policy
©2022 Andrews McMeel Universal