DEAR HARRIETTE: My aunt dropped off her cat for me to watch this week. The main problem is that I am severely allergic to cats that shed. This cat sheds fur everywhere, and I'm absolutely miserable, with constant sneezing and head colds. My aunt knows that I am allergic, but she dropped off the cat with no warning and then went out of the country. I feel that it's disrespectful, but I am too nice to mention anything to her about it. How can I politely explain to my aunt that what she did was inconsiderate? -- Can't Breathe, Cincinnati

DEAR CAN'T BREATHE: For your health alone, you must speak to your aunt. While you see her actions as disrespectful, I believe it's more likely that they were unconscious. Your aunt was so busy trying to get her act together to leave town that she didn't think about anybody but herself.

Of course, that is not good. Your health was compromised. Thank goodness you didn't have a worse problem. As you likely know, people with allergies like yours can suffer severe consequences, including literally not being able to breathe.

This is a serious situation. Definitely speak to your aunt and let her know that you cannot take care of her cat again.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am staying with my dad for the summer because my new job is close to his apartment. My mother and father have been separated since I was 4 years old, and I've been living with my mother essentially my whole life.

Although I see my dad on weekends and occasionally at family functions, he and I are not close. Most daughters have a great relationship with their fathers, but that is definitely not my story. I am lucky if we even get an opportunity to eat dinner together. I'm used to not spending much time with him, but there is a part of me that longs to have some sort of connection, even if it's just sitting down together for a meal. How can my dad and I become closer? -- Yearning for Dad, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR YEARNING FOR DAD: Now that you are staying temporarily with your father, you are in a perfect situation. While it may feel awkward since you don't have a history of spending time with him, do not let this moment pass.

Tell your father that you want to get to know him better. State the obvious, and make it clear to him that you want to give it a try.

Tell him that you are planning a special dinner for the two of you on a particular night. Ask him what his favorite foods are. Express your excitement about the possibility of spending this time with him.

In addition, do your best to get up when he gets up so that you can have a few minutes together in the morning. On the weekend, ask if you can go out and enjoy some quality time together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My assistant comes to work late every day. I have talked to him about it many times. When he arrives, he does a decent job, but it's a problem for me that he comes late -- I'm talking an hour late. I have a small company, and I rely on him. I don't pay him a lot, but he agreed to the salary. I'm afraid that if I fire him, I may not be able to find someone to do the job for the amount I have to offer. What should I do? -- Irritated Boss, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR IRRITATED BOSS: The level of compromise that you are allowing will not help you to grow your business. Do not tolerate your assistant's lackadaisical behavior. Give him a warning in writing and then fire him unless he immediately becomes professional.

You might be better off having no assistant in-house, and instead hiring a "virtual" assistant to support you. You can arrange to have someone virtually answer your telephone calls, handle correspondence, do bookkeeping -- pretty much anything that doesn't absolutely require a person to be in the room with you. You also can have virtual meetings where you see each other, thanks to Skype and other video communications tools. Such virtual arrangements are a common solution for small businesses these days.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm pretty sure my husband is cheating on me. He has been acting weird. A few times in the past few weeks, he has come home late and smelling of women's perfume. He has not wanted to do anything with me, especially intimately. I am so devastated, but I'm afraid to ask him about it. I don't want to lose him.

My girlfriend told me that she just looks the other way when her husband does what she calls "his business." I don't know if I can overlook it. I want my marriage to be good. What should I do? -- At a Loss, Detroit

DEAR AT A LOSS: If you want to save your marriage, you have to muster the courage to confront your husband. During a neutral time, like a Saturday afternoon when you don't have work responsibilities to pull either of you away from a conversation, tell him you need to talk.

Tell him that you suspect he is having an affair. Ask if he is in a relationship with someone or if he is sleeping with someone else. He may not answer. Describe your fears and the incidents that have made you suspicious.

Stake your claim. Tell him that you want to fight for your marriage and that you are unwilling to share him with another woman. Ask if he wants to stay married and if he is willing to tell you the truth about what's going on.

Push him to be honest with you. If you are to stay married, you will have to figure out how to talk this through and make decisions about the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone who I don't know and who is not a Facebook friend sent me a request, asking that she be put in touch with one of my Facebook friends. When I suggested that she find my friend on Facebook, the writer gave me major attitude, saying, "If I could've found her on Facebook, don't you think I would have thought of that?"

When I responded with a bit of retaliation, asking the writer about her attitude, she lit into me further. I responded one more time, asking why she was being so rude when she was trying to get something from me. She didn't write back anymore.

Am I wrong to think it was inappropriate for someone I don't know to ask me to share someone else's contact information? She gave me no indication of who she is or what she wants with my contact. I'm so tired of experiencing random rudeness from people who want my help. In the end, this woman wrote me a nasty note telling me how unhelpful I was when I could have been supportive to her. -- Facebook Friend, Atlanta

DEAR FACEBOOK FRIEND: Some people feel entitled to whatever they want, regardless of how they go about getting it. You were not wrong to withhold information about one of your sources from someone you don't know. The power and value of relationships has much to do with how well you protect them.

I'm sorry you had a rude interaction with someone using social media, but I'm not surprised. Anonymity sometimes allows people to behave in extreme ways because they think they won't be found out. Chalk this up as an experience with someone who either was never taught how to engage others politely or who just doesn't care. In either case, reach out to the friend she was looking to meet and warn her about this person.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a fashion lover, and I am known to have expensive tastes in clothing. There is only one problem: Because of all my extracurricular activities, I don't have time to work. So currently I have no source of income. I really dislike constantly begging my parents for money. It's uncomfortable and unfair to them. What can I do to suppress my shopping habit? -- Stylishly Broke, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR STYLISHLY BROKE: Wake up, dear one. It makes no sense to spend money that you don't have on anything, including fashion.

How can you suppress your habit? For starters, avoid going into stores unless you are able to "shop look," as my mother used to call it. If you can't look at items without buying something, don't put your foot in the door.

It's time to reorder your priorities as well. Evaluate your extracurricular activities. Is there something you can curtail in favor of a job? You will never be able to afford your style habit if you don't have the money to pay for it.

You also may want to look into a 12-step program where you face your shopping habit and figure out how to be more balanced about your current obsession.