DEAR HARRIETTE: My assistant comes to work late every day. I have talked to him about it many times. When he arrives, he does a decent job, but it's a problem for me that he comes late -- I'm talking an hour late. I have a small company, and I rely on him. I don't pay him a lot, but he agreed to the salary. I'm afraid that if I fire him, I may not be able to find someone to do the job for the amount I have to offer. What should I do? -- Irritated Boss, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR IRRITATED BOSS: The level of compromise that you are allowing will not help you to grow your business. Do not tolerate your assistant's lackadaisical behavior. Give him a warning in writing and then fire him unless he immediately becomes professional.

You might be better off having no assistant in-house, and instead hiring a "virtual" assistant to support you. You can arrange to have someone virtually answer your telephone calls, handle correspondence, do bookkeeping -- pretty much anything that doesn't absolutely require a person to be in the room with you. You also can have virtual meetings where you see each other, thanks to Skype and other video communications tools. Such virtual arrangements are a common solution for small businesses these days.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm pretty sure my husband is cheating on me. He has been acting weird. A few times in the past few weeks, he has come home late and smelling of women's perfume. He has not wanted to do anything with me, especially intimately. I am so devastated, but I'm afraid to ask him about it. I don't want to lose him.

My girlfriend told me that she just looks the other way when her husband does what she calls "his business." I don't know if I can overlook it. I want my marriage to be good. What should I do? -- At a Loss, Detroit

DEAR AT A LOSS: If you want to save your marriage, you have to muster the courage to confront your husband. During a neutral time, like a Saturday afternoon when you don't have work responsibilities to pull either of you away from a conversation, tell him you need to talk.

Tell him that you suspect he is having an affair. Ask if he is in a relationship with someone or if he is sleeping with someone else. He may not answer. Describe your fears and the incidents that have made you suspicious.

Stake your claim. Tell him that you want to fight for your marriage and that you are unwilling to share him with another woman. Ask if he wants to stay married and if he is willing to tell you the truth about what's going on.

Push him to be honest with you. If you are to stay married, you will have to figure out how to talk this through and make decisions about the future.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone who I don't know and who is not a Facebook friend sent me a request, asking that she be put in touch with one of my Facebook friends. When I suggested that she find my friend on Facebook, the writer gave me major attitude, saying, "If I could've found her on Facebook, don't you think I would have thought of that?"

When I responded with a bit of retaliation, asking the writer about her attitude, she lit into me further. I responded one more time, asking why she was being so rude when she was trying to get something from me. She didn't write back anymore.

Am I wrong to think it was inappropriate for someone I don't know to ask me to share someone else's contact information? She gave me no indication of who she is or what she wants with my contact. I'm so tired of experiencing random rudeness from people who want my help. In the end, this woman wrote me a nasty note telling me how unhelpful I was when I could have been supportive to her. -- Facebook Friend, Atlanta

DEAR FACEBOOK FRIEND: Some people feel entitled to whatever they want, regardless of how they go about getting it. You were not wrong to withhold information about one of your sources from someone you don't know. The power and value of relationships has much to do with how well you protect them.

I'm sorry you had a rude interaction with someone using social media, but I'm not surprised. Anonymity sometimes allows people to behave in extreme ways because they think they won't be found out. Chalk this up as an experience with someone who either was never taught how to engage others politely or who just doesn't care. In either case, reach out to the friend she was looking to meet and warn her about this person.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a fashion lover, and I am known to have expensive tastes in clothing. There is only one problem: Because of all my extracurricular activities, I don't have time to work. So currently I have no source of income. I really dislike constantly begging my parents for money. It's uncomfortable and unfair to them. What can I do to suppress my shopping habit? -- Stylishly Broke, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR STYLISHLY BROKE: Wake up, dear one. It makes no sense to spend money that you don't have on anything, including fashion.

How can you suppress your habit? For starters, avoid going into stores unless you are able to "shop look," as my mother used to call it. If you can't look at items without buying something, don't put your foot in the door.

It's time to reorder your priorities as well. Evaluate your extracurricular activities. Is there something you can curtail in favor of a job? You will never be able to afford your style habit if you don't have the money to pay for it.

You also may want to look into a 12-step program where you face your shopping habit and figure out how to be more balanced about your current obsession.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am almost certain that my sister stole money from my room. She knows where I hide my money box, and the other day I noticed that it was empty except for some loose coins. I did have $40 in there. It's just the two of us and our parents in our house, and I can't imagine why my parents would steal money from me. My sister, on the other hand, is always shopping. We are both teenagers, but I have a job and she isn't old enough to have one yet. I want to ask her about it, but I think she will probably lie. What should I do? I want my money. -- Victim, Syracuse, N.Y.

DEAR VICTIM: Tell your mom what happened -- that you had $40 in your money box and it is missing. Ask if she knows anything about it. Tell her your suspicions, and ask her to help you address them.

By talking it out with your mother, you will be able to vent your frustration with an adult who can help you to calm down. If she knows anything about the situation, she will tell you. She will also give you her opinion about your sister and her potential actions.

When you ask your sister about the missing cash, do your best not to be accusatory. You can tell her what happened and ask her if she knows anything about it. If you remain neutral in your questioning and if she took the money, she may be willing to tell you. For example, she may believe she borrowed it and intended to replace it right away. If she admits "borrowing" the money, ask her to give it back to you immediately.

Find a better hiding place for your money. Now may be the perfect time to ask your mother to open a bank account for you if you don't already have one.

DEAR HARRIETTE: There is only one good solution for "Outraged" who is tired of rude and pushy shoppers ... RUN from "Yankee Land" as quickly as possible and come to the genteel South, where life moves more slowly and certainly more politely! You would never leave! Born a "Southern belle" and will die one! -- Belle, Shreveport, La.

DEAR BELLE: Oh, I couldn't resist running your letter! I'm sure that Northerners would beg to differ with you. Of course, there are well-behaved people above the Mason-Dixon line, but I absolutely love your invitation.

Let's use your invitation of hospitality as a challenge to everyone to choose to be polite. Wherever you live, you can choose that option. Imagine how much more easeful the world would be.

And, per your invitation, we might all enjoy a visit to your great town. Thanks for writing.