DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for three years, and in that time we have been on only one vacation together, not including our honeymoon. Our current work schedules will not allow us to take a vacation together, so we take separate vacations.

We do have at least one weekend a month when we are off together. Maybe we could schedule a monthly getaway. What are your thoughts? -- Work and Marriage, Salt Lake City

DEAR WORK AND MARRIAGE: How about planning weekend excursions once a month instead of going away on separate vacations? Use the money you would spend on individual trips to do something really exciting and fun together. So what if it's for only two days or an occasional long weekend? What you want is quality time together.

Suggest to your husband that you rent a fancy hotel room outside the city or go on a weekend ski trip. Research entertainment options in and around your city to find other activities you both would enjoy. Once you plan a winning trip, both of you will look forward to the next one.

By all means, make time for each other. It will help you stay happily married.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have just found out that my family is moving to Arizona from New York. I have lived in New York for my whole life, and I have made very close friends.

I don't move until next year, but I am worried that if I tell my friends now, they won't want to be friends anymore because they will have the mindset that I am moving. Should I wait until a few months before I move, or should I tell them now? If I do tell them, how do I make sure they will keep being my friends? -- On the Move, Bronxville, N.Y.

DEAR ON THE MOVE: Change your mindset. I bet the reason your parents told you a year in advance about your move is to get you and your friends acclimated to the idea. Your friends are your support system. You should definitely tell them and then talk to them about your mixed emotions. Instead of focusing on the possibility of losing them, use the remaining months you have together to enjoy maximum good times. Talk to them about the many ways you can stay in touch. Now that we have so many social media outlets, it doesn't have to be difficult. You can text, email, call and Skype.

Plus, if you start planning now, your friends can ask their parents if they can schedule vacations when they might come to Arizona to visit. Likewise, you can ask your parents if they would be willing to come back to New York from time to time.

Assume the positive about the next chapter of your life, and don't assume that you have to give up your friends to enjoy it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My best friend since childhood has been telling me stories about her crazy nights out, where she takes part in drinking and drugs. She also has told me that her grades at school have dropped, but she shrugs it off as if it is cool. Our families are so close, and I know her mother and father are constantly worried about the people she goes out with and what she does.

My question is, do I help her parents and talk to her about her wild behavior, even though it would risk our friendship? Or do I let the parents handle it by themselves? -- Concerned Friend, Gallup, N.M.

DEAR CONCERNED FRIEND: This is a time when I believe friendship calls for sticking out your neck. If you truly love your friend, you have to talk to her about what's going on. You may end up being the one person she can hear through all of the confusion that she, no doubt, is experiencing.

Since she has confided in you, she has given you permission to respond to her. Without judgment, express your concern. Tell her how much you love her and how worried you are about her recent choices. You can tell her that you know she thinks her actions are "cool," but remind her that her life is more important than that momentary feeling.

Ask if she would be willing to hang out with you sometimes. Try to lure her away from her current activities with other fun options.

The toughest action I want you to take is to report to her parents what you have learned. Could it risk your friendship? Yes, but it also could save your friend's life. Tell her parents you want to help. The website www.drugfree.org offers helpful information and support.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister's birthday is coming up, and she is turning 16. It is a big deal in our family, and we are all expected to buy her a gift. I love to shop, but I am a terrible gift buyer. On top of that, I am a student on a budget. What is a good but affordable present I could get her? -- Empty-Handed, Larchmont, N.Y.

DEAR EMPTY-HANDED: I bet you are a great shopper -- for yourself. The key to being a great shopper for someone else is to make that person top of mind.

Use yourself as an example. If you were going to buy a gift for yourself on a very limited budget, what would you buy? What would you appreciate? Think about this carefully.

Now translate that thinking to your sister. What is her personality like? What makes her happy? What does she like to do?

You could get her a gift certificate -- in any amount you can afford -- to the local movie theater or beauty products store. Another option is an iTunes gift card. One time I bought a friend a packet of gold pencils. They cost a few dollars, but I knew she would love them because at the time, she was obsessed with metallic gold.

Thinking about your sister will lead you to an appropriate gift for her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently ran into an acquaintance at a mutual friend's party. Afterward, one of the guests pointed out that my acquaintance had been arrested for a serious crime some years back. I was shocked and didn't believe it until I read an article about the incident.

Normally, it wouldn't make any difference. She and I rarely see each other. But at that gathering she had said she hoped we could rekindle our friendship. Now I'm not so sure. It is true that her offense occurred years ago and has nothing to do with me. But what I learned about her behavior gave me the creeps.

Should I blow her off, ignore what I learned and befriend her again, or ask her about it? -- Unsure, Boston

DEAR UNSURE: Here's an example of how the past often catches up with the future. This woman is trying to live her life after likely trying to repent for her transgressions. If her past behavior could have a negative impact on you, then you may want to either not rekindle the friendship or ask her about it. However, if her past doesn't affect you in any way other than that you learned about it and it's unpleasant, keep it to yourself. I imagine you wouldn't appreciate someone bringing up any indiscretions from your past simply because the person learned about it.

You have the opportunity to decide whether you want this woman in your life. If you want to be friends with her, move forward by accepting her invitation. If you don't, keep things as they are, seeing each other from time to time but without any intimacy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and her boyfriend broke up a few months ago, and, according to her, it was really ugly. I suspected that he was a jerk, but he was worse than I imagined. The second that she lost her job, he was out. He was totally not there for her when she needed him the most. Part of me has wanted to reach out to him and curse him out, but my sister asked me not to say anything.

He called me the other day out of the blue. The call went to voice mail. He acted like everything was normal. I'm wondering if I should call him back and then curse him out or even just see what he wants. What do you think? -- Mad at My Sister's Ex, Detroit

DEAR MAD AT MY SISTER'S EX: He's given you your entree. Yes, you can call him back, but don't begin with a verbal assault. Find out what he has to say for himself. Listen. Before you get off the phone, tell him how angry you are that he was thoughtless and cruel to your sister. He has earned the earful that says he should be ashamed of himself -- but without the expletives.