DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for three years, and in that time we have been on only one vacation together, not including our honeymoon. Our current work schedules will not allow us to take a vacation together, so we take separate vacations.
We do have at least one weekend a month when we are off together. Maybe we could schedule a monthly getaway. What are your thoughts? -- Work and Marriage, Salt Lake City
DEAR WORK AND MARRIAGE: How about planning weekend excursions once a month instead of going away on separate vacations? Use the money you would spend on individual trips to do something really exciting and fun together. So what if it's for only two days or an occasional long weekend? What you want is quality time together.
Suggest to your husband that you rent a fancy hotel room outside the city or go on a weekend ski trip. Research entertainment options in and around your city to find other activities you both would enjoy. Once you plan a winning trip, both of you will look forward to the next one.
By all means, make time for each other. It will help you stay happily married.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I have just found out that my family is moving to Arizona from New York. I have lived in New York for my whole life, and I have made very close friends.
I don't move until next year, but I am worried that if I tell my friends now, they won't want to be friends anymore because they will have the mindset that I am moving. Should I wait until a few months before I move, or should I tell them now? If I do tell them, how do I make sure they will keep being my friends? -- On the Move, Bronxville, N.Y.
DEAR ON THE MOVE: Change your mindset. I bet the reason your parents told you a year in advance about your move is to get you and your friends acclimated to the idea. Your friends are your support system. You should definitely tell them and then talk to them about your mixed emotions. Instead of focusing on the possibility of losing them, use the remaining months you have together to enjoy maximum good times. Talk to them about the many ways you can stay in touch. Now that we have so many social media outlets, it doesn't have to be difficult. You can text, email, call and Skype.
Plus, if you start planning now, your friends can ask their parents if they can schedule vacations when they might come to Arizona to visit. Likewise, you can ask your parents if they would be willing to come back to New York from time to time.
Assume the positive about the next chapter of your life, and don't assume that you have to give up your friends to enjoy it.