DEAR HARRIETTE: I enjoy reading your column; you seem to have the good sense necessary to make a success of it.

One thing came up that I would like to comment on. "Child of God" wrote to you complaining about people using the name of God carelessly. I agree with her complaint and with your answer, but there is another dimension that needs to be addressed. She said Christians should be offended, and your response spoke of Christian tradition, but the prohibition against using God's name in vain comes originally from the Jewish Torah at Exodus 20:7 (the Second Commandment). It exists in Christian tradition because Christians adopted a good deal of Jewish tradition. Too many Christians today talk as if there are two groups: Christians and heathens.

I worked in Germany for several years. One of my colleagues there was an intelligent and friendly man who complained about some facets of society and spoke of "Christian values." I stopped him and asked him to give some examples of these values. Everything he listed came from Jewish tradition, and many are common to almost all religions.

It helps to remind folks that there are other traditions and religions that worship God, too, especially where the Christian tradition is not original. -- Faithful, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FAITHFUL: Thank you for your clarification and for broadening the discussion. We live in a world of many religions. It is wise to learn about the ways in which others practice their faith.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a friend who was publicly humiliated. She drove drunk, hit a car and left the scene, but, ultimately, she was tracked down and arrested. It was in the papers. What she did was terrible, but she is a good person: She is always nice to me, and she did a lot for the community, which made it all that much worse.

I sent her a note, telling her I heard of the accident she caused, but I let her know that my opinion of her did not change. I did this for two reasons. First, she was -- and still is -- a great person. Second, I did not want her to be embarrassed when she saw me. There was enough of that to go around in our town. She was grateful, and I know I did a good thing for her when she was feeling terrible. We know when we fail, but we want to know our friends and acquaintances can still see the good in us. -- Standing Up for a Friend, St. Charles, Ill.

DEAR STANDING UP: Thank you for sharing your story. It's important in the healing process for people who have been humiliated to have someone who loves them and supports them through it. This doesn't mean that the supportive person should overlook the situation; it means to do just what you did, for the person to reach out to express compassion and connection.

It can be excruciatingly difficult to face up to one's bad behavior. When you know that someone has your back in spite of your misdeeds, it can be much easier to face yourself and do your best to fix the situation at hand.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I hired a new teacher at my school recently. He left brand-new computer equipment unattended in his classroom for several hours. The teacher did not notify anyone that he left the equipment unattended until the next school day. Naturally, it was stolen. I'm upset that we have to replace the computer equipment because of his negligence. I really want to fire him, but I think that's an extreme action. Can you offer a way for me to reprimand him without losing my temper? -- Being the Boss, Park City, Utah

DEAR BEING THE BOSS: Unless you have a written policy in place stating that such an act of negligence will lead to dismissal or even reimbursement, you cannot go to that extreme. Sit the teacher down, and talk about safety and the value of equipment. Perhaps he didn't imagine that anyone would steal from the school because he had never had such a thing happen where he previously worked.

He needs mentoring and a reprimand. Calm down and guide him. That will be your most effective next action.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Yesterday, one of my managers walked out of an important meeting for about 30 minutes, and he was nowhere to be found. He returned eventually. After the meeting was over, I pulled him aside and asked him about his disappearance. He responded that he went to another department to talk to a co-worker. What should I do? I needed him to be in meetings, and not wasting time visiting a co-worker in another department. -- About to Blow My Top, Chicago

DEAR ABOUT TO BLOW MY TOP: Don't assume that he was wasting time visiting the co-worker in another department. Call him into your office and dig deeper. Ask him what the nature of his meeting was.

Ask him why he thought it was acceptable for him to leave what you deemed an important meeting. Find out if he understand the nature and value of the meeting in your eyes. I don't know how many meetings you have, but many companies are overrun by meetings, and sometimes it's hard for work to be completed because meetings seem to get in the way. Could this be true at your office?

Rather than assuming that your employee intended to disregard your meeting, talk to him until you are clear about his thinking. Then, make your expectations crystal clear. If you expect your staff to stay in meetings until they end, tell him as much. If you prefer to know if there are conflicts in advance, make that clear. Finally, in cases of emergency, let this man and your other staff know how to inform you of their need to leave.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am drowning in debt. It has gotten to the point where I don't know what to do. I got laid off last year. I have been able to work part-time jobs here and there, but it's not enough money to even pay for my rent and food. Never mind that I have all kinds of debt I took on by using credit cards too much in order to survive.

It's horrible. I have no idea what to do. I cannot pay right now. I feel like hiding. But that's ridiculous. -- Ready to Hide, Washington, D.C.

DEAR READY TO HIDE: Resist the temptation to go underground. I promise that will not work. Instead, be proactive. Contact all of your creditors and tell them your story. Trust that they want to recoup as much of what they are owed as possible. Ask if you can get a reduction of your debt and establish a payment plan that will allow you to pay small amounts while you are working to get on your feet.

Depending on your financial circumstances, you may qualify for public assistance. While it may be difficult for you to consider getting help from the government, I hope you will see that a little help can go a long way as you work to get on your feet. To find out your eligibility, go to www.tanf-benefits.com.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was at my friend’s house the other day and saw a medication he was taking that is used for a venereal disease. I was shocked. Then again, I don’t know anything about his sex life. What I do know is that he recently started dating a girl and is super-excited about her. I have a feeling he is going to have sex with her soon. I like this girl he's dating and know her a little bit. I wonder if I should talk to her about what I found or tell the guy to take it slowly? I would hate to be the person who knows a terrible fact but didn’t do anything about it. How should I proceed? -- In Doubt, New Orleans

DEAR IN DOUBT: Your friend’s sex life is not your business. That you saw medication does not confirm his health status. It is best for you to mind your own business.

If you feel compelled to find out, ask your friend directly. Tell him that you saw a medication of his that made you concerned about him and his new date. If you want to step into his business, you could ask him if he has the disease in question and if he uses protection.

I do not recommend that you go to the new date. At this stage in history, people should know to use protection. You are not the protection police, and it is not your role to try to get your friends to behave responsibly. It is their job.