DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm living with my father for the summer so that I can be closer to my job. Every day, I clean the living room and bedrooms. But no matter how much I clean, the next day it always seems to be even dirtier.

I don't understand why my father does not understand the concept of cleanliness at his age! I don't know whether he's too lazy or just does not notice it. How can I appropriately insist that he clean up after himself? -- In a Mess, Jacksonville, Fla.

DEAR IN A MESS: What was the state of your father's home when you first arrived? If he was messy from the start, it may mean that your father is comfortable in the amount of disorder that is usually present. Some people like mess, others are oblivious to it or still others aren't motivated to do anything about it.

Your father truly may not notice that he's living in messy quarters. Should you say something? Well, you might diplomatically point out to him that while you are living there, you intend to do a certain amount of cleaning every day. Ask if he is OK with these tasks. Ask next if he would be willing to do a few things as well.

Be proactive by suggesting particular tasks he might be willing to do to help keep the house in order. If he agrees but doesn't follow up, gently remind him. You may be successful in getting him to do a few things.

Be careful not to fuss with him or to behave disparagingly. This is his home, and he is doing you a favor by allowing you to live with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am always stuck baby-sitting my younger brother and sister. I wouldn't mind it so much, but they simply do not listen to me. They don't respect my authority, and when I'm nice to them, they take advantage.

I try not to scream too often, but sometimes I just can't take anymore. My mom constantly screams at me for screaming at them, but she does not see what happens when she's not around. How can I get her to understand why I'm so frustrated with my younger siblings? -- Reluctant Sitter, Grand Rapids, Mich.

DEAR RELUCTANT SITTER: In a calm moment, talk to your mother about your concerns. Explain to her that you want to baby-sit your siblings properly, but they don't respect you. Ask her to support you by telling them that you are in charge when she isn't around. It would be helpful if she would take away privileges when they do not obey your directions or treat you disrespectfully.

Meanwhile, you need to work on staying calm. Children follow directions far more readily when the authority figure stays in control. That includes not raising your voice, giving clear directions and sticking to them.

One way to improve rapport with your siblings is to think of fun activities they will enjoy. If you plan things for them to do that seem like adventures -- even if they are in your home -- your brother and sister will be more inclined to be engaged and to enjoy your company. When children are bored is when you have the most difficulty with them.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I consider myself to be a friendly and generous person, although many people in my school consider me to be stuck-up and conceited. I admit that I have high self-esteem and that I expect the best for myself, but I'm not sure how this makes me "stuck-up." I like to lead in class discussions and projects, but then people call me a "control freak." What can I do to stop people from calling me these things? -- Seeking Balance, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR SEEKING BALANCE: You cannot control how people respond to you. Sometimes confident, energetic, friendly people can come off as overbearing or even conceited.

Sometimes, though, there is truth in the observations that others are making. I want you to review your actions over several days. Go back to the first moment that you saw someone at school. How did you react? Did you say "hello"? Did you demonstrate any interest in the various people who crossed your path?

You say you are called a control freak. Can you think back on times when that might be applicable? Do you always lead in class discussions and projects? How would you rate your ability to be a team player?

To be an effective leader, you must also be an effective supporter. You may want to practice that role.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love your column! This is a belated comment about the young classmate who did not have Facebook and whose classmates were having trouble dealing with this. In all of the comments, I never saw anyone suggest that maybe the student's parents did not allow her to be on Facebook and she was too embarrassed to share this restriction with her classmates. In the age of multiple modes of communication, this is a minor challenge and offers the rest of the group an opportunity to find a suitable work-around, a much-needed skill as they go forward in school and work settings. Just a thought. -- Practical, St. Charles, Ill.

DEAR PRACTICAL: You have a point. While the official entry age for Facebook remains 13, that doesn't mean all parents allow their teens access to the social media site. (This, by the way, could be a good thing as it relates to managing whom teens interact with and when.) And, yes, it would be embarrassing for such a teen to have to explain that to his or her peers. Thanks for bringing up that possibility.

Your letter also brings light to the bigger point, which I addressed initially: If you run into an obstacle, your job is to figure out how to reach your goal, even if that means using other tools to get the desired result. Giving up because your preferred way of accomplishing a task is unavailable should not be an option, as it is not how you succeed in life. Perseverance, creativity, commitment and collaboration are key ingredients to successful teamwork.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle gave me quite a few shares of stock as a graduation present. I'm sure that's a great gift, but I don't know anything about the stock market. He is a big-time broker with a bit of an attitude. I want to ask him about the stocks and to teach me about investing, but I'm afraid he will laugh at me because I know so little. Should I just read up on stocks by myself, or dare I ask him to teach me? -- Young Investor, Washington, D.C.

DEAR YOUNG INVESTOR: I like both ideas. Begin your research so that you can show a kernel of interest in this generous gift from your uncle. Look at Money, Kiplinger's and Forbes magazines and at SmartMoney in The Wall Street Journal for starters. And by all means, contact your uncle to thank him for the gift and to ask him to schedule an appointment to talk about stocks.

Have a notebook at the ready and ask as many questions as you can. Sincerely express your interest in learning about money, finance and stocks. Tell your uncle about your initial research, and ask him to recommend books to read, online sites to visit, etc. Ask if he will give you a tour of his office and introduce you to other people in the money-management world.

As you move into the next phase of your life, it is surely helpful to learn about building wealth. Perhaps your uncle can help lead you on that journey.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently moved into a new apartment with a new roommate. We get along well, except that my roommate is a super-early riser and I am a late-night girl. It's tough for us to have good sleep-and-awake patterns, which has made us feel frustrated with each other. We live in a two-bedroom apartment with one bathroom.

How would you recommend that we both get our rest so we don't chew each other out because our patterns are disturbed? -- Sleep-Deprived, Chicago

DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: It's time to establish a schedule with your roommate. Have a meeting and talk about your challenges -- particularly, who is awake and when. Set times to turn out the lights and lower the volume that accommodate each other's need for quiet. Make sure you also allow time when you can speak at full volume, play music and entertain guests.

As far as the bathroom goes, do your best to schedule alone time. If you keep the bathroom door closed, the sound of water running in the shower will be muffled. You may also want to invest in a few area rugs. Rugs absorb sound.

When you are awake and your roommate is asleep, do your best to spend your time in an area that is out of earshot of your roommate's bedroom.