DEAR HARRIETTE: I consider myself to be a friendly and generous person, although many people in my school consider me to be stuck-up and conceited. I admit that I have high self-esteem and that I expect the best for myself, but I'm not sure how this makes me "stuck-up." I like to lead in class discussions and projects, but then people call me a "control freak." What can I do to stop people from calling me these things? -- Seeking Balance, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR SEEKING BALANCE: You cannot control how people respond to you. Sometimes confident, energetic, friendly people can come off as overbearing or even conceited.

Sometimes, though, there is truth in the observations that others are making. I want you to review your actions over several days. Go back to the first moment that you saw someone at school. How did you react? Did you say "hello"? Did you demonstrate any interest in the various people who crossed your path?

You say you are called a control freak. Can you think back on times when that might be applicable? Do you always lead in class discussions and projects? How would you rate your ability to be a team player?

To be an effective leader, you must also be an effective supporter. You may want to practice that role.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love your column! This is a belated comment about the young classmate who did not have Facebook and whose classmates were having trouble dealing with this. In all of the comments, I never saw anyone suggest that maybe the student's parents did not allow her to be on Facebook and she was too embarrassed to share this restriction with her classmates. In the age of multiple modes of communication, this is a minor challenge and offers the rest of the group an opportunity to find a suitable work-around, a much-needed skill as they go forward in school and work settings. Just a thought. -- Practical, St. Charles, Ill.

DEAR PRACTICAL: You have a point. While the official entry age for Facebook remains 13, that doesn't mean all parents allow their teens access to the social media site. (This, by the way, could be a good thing as it relates to managing whom teens interact with and when.) And, yes, it would be embarrassing for such a teen to have to explain that to his or her peers. Thanks for bringing up that possibility.

Your letter also brings light to the bigger point, which I addressed initially: If you run into an obstacle, your job is to figure out how to reach your goal, even if that means using other tools to get the desired result. Giving up because your preferred way of accomplishing a task is unavailable should not be an option, as it is not how you succeed in life. Perseverance, creativity, commitment and collaboration are key ingredients to successful teamwork.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My uncle gave me quite a few shares of stock as a graduation present. I'm sure that's a great gift, but I don't know anything about the stock market. He is a big-time broker with a bit of an attitude. I want to ask him about the stocks and to teach me about investing, but I'm afraid he will laugh at me because I know so little. Should I just read up on stocks by myself, or dare I ask him to teach me? -- Young Investor, Washington, D.C.

DEAR YOUNG INVESTOR: I like both ideas. Begin your research so that you can show a kernel of interest in this generous gift from your uncle. Look at Money, Kiplinger's and Forbes magazines and at SmartMoney in The Wall Street Journal for starters. And by all means, contact your uncle to thank him for the gift and to ask him to schedule an appointment to talk about stocks.

Have a notebook at the ready and ask as many questions as you can. Sincerely express your interest in learning about money, finance and stocks. Tell your uncle about your initial research, and ask him to recommend books to read, online sites to visit, etc. Ask if he will give you a tour of his office and introduce you to other people in the money-management world.

As you move into the next phase of your life, it is surely helpful to learn about building wealth. Perhaps your uncle can help lead you on that journey.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently moved into a new apartment with a new roommate. We get along well, except that my roommate is a super-early riser and I am a late-night girl. It's tough for us to have good sleep-and-awake patterns, which has made us feel frustrated with each other. We live in a two-bedroom apartment with one bathroom.

How would you recommend that we both get our rest so we don't chew each other out because our patterns are disturbed? -- Sleep-Deprived, Chicago

DEAR SLEEP-DEPRIVED: It's time to establish a schedule with your roommate. Have a meeting and talk about your challenges -- particularly, who is awake and when. Set times to turn out the lights and lower the volume that accommodate each other's need for quiet. Make sure you also allow time when you can speak at full volume, play music and entertain guests.

As far as the bathroom goes, do your best to schedule alone time. If you keep the bathroom door closed, the sound of water running in the shower will be muffled. You may also want to invest in a few area rugs. Rugs absorb sound.

When you are awake and your roommate is asleep, do your best to spend your time in an area that is out of earshot of your roommate's bedroom.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Several children in my neighborhood are graduating from high school or college this summer. I have been invited to about 10 parties. I am so happy for the families, and I know how proud they are.

I would like to celebrate with them, but I cannot afford to buy a gift for each of the graduates. My family's coffers have been stretched for a couple of years now. My husband lost his job and hasn't found work in 18 months, and my hours were cut back.

I'm sure that none of these families wants a sob story. I am not sure what to do. I don't want to seem like the person who either stayed away or who came and ate up their food without bringing a gift. -- Between a Rock, Shreveport, La.

DEAR BETWEEN A ROCK: Gifts don't have to cost money. If you actually know the young people who are graduating, take a few minutes to remember highlights of their growing-up years. Write each of them a note congratulating them on their success and wishing them all the best in the future. The more specific you can be about them and their lives, the more valuable the note will be. That can suffice, and you can attend the party knowing that you have contributed something memorable to the graduate.

Of course, you don't have to eat up all their food! What you will be coming for is to fete the graduate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What do you do when your neighbor has no curtains at her windows and regularly walks around naked? I guess somebody may think this is sexy. Not me. This may sound terrible, but she's an older woman, like in her 60s, and I really don't want to see all of that.

I wish I lived in a building where I could change the windows. But, hey, I live in an apartment -- no can do.

Seriously, what can I do? I don't want to look out the window and see her. -- Blinded by the Sight, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR BLINDED: You might have a different opinion if the view outside your window was of a 20-year-old model. Yes, we should hold the same standards for all, but I do understand your dilemma.

Do YOU have curtains? While it may not seem fair, you may have to cover your own windows to protect your line of sight.

People need to realize that even if they live on upper floors in apartment buildings, there's a really good chance the neighbors can see inside their apartment. Having curtains is a sign of good manners. It shows people that you respect your privacy and theirs.