DEAR READERS: Happy Independence Day, America! As I think about this favorite American holiday, I become reflective. Naturally, many people think of the Fourth of July as the quintessential time for hot dogs, lemonade and family fun. But when you pay attention to the reason for the holiday, it can give you pause.

I consider the United States of America to be the greatest experiment in democracy. Our country was founded on the loftiest of ideals, including the belief that every one of us deserves -- indeed, has the right to -- life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Who talks like that these days? Moreover, what does it mean to have those pursuits available to us?

We live in a world fraught with war, with poverty, with despair, with fear. Our prisons are crowded with individuals who have lost their freedom. Our hospitals are full of people who are on the verge of losing their lives. On our hallowed shores, many people battle all manner of conflicts that can make it impossible to even imagine pursuing happiness.

The news is littered with stories of people who have given up, who have committed the greatest offense by taking their own lives because they saw no value in them.

We are living in extreme times. The "haves" are growing in wealth, while the "have-nots" and the "have-less" are suffering without enough resources to adequately care for their families.

I do not mention these realities to make us sad or despondent. I am not encouraging us to hang our flags at half-staff. I mention these things to remind us of both the fragile nature of human life and, conversely, the amazing potential of the American spirit. Despite seemingly insurmountable odds, the people who founded this great nation had the vision of a culture and society that treasured both the individual and the community. They understood that one way to ensure the growth and development of our country was to inspire each one of us with the promise that we could fulfill our potential to be our best.

I believe it is time for all of us to remember that promise and to figure out how to align ourselves with the possibility of fulfilling lives for ourselves, for our families and for our neighbors. When we wave our Stars and Stripes -- which symbolizes the sanctity of good will that has made our country a magnet for so many around the world -- let us take a moment to consider our commitment to our country.

So many young men and women have devoted their lives to protecting the freedoms that our country promises its citizens. What can each of us do to ensure that our country continues to treat each of its inhabitants with respect, dignity and faith in their potential? It is our duty to figure it out -- for ourselves and the future of our nation.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm currently in my sophomore year of college. In two years, I plan to have my degree in economics, but I'm not too sure about the direction I should go after that. I'm wondering where I can get an internship in economics. Or should I change my major to something that has more of a direction? -- At a Crossroads, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: Sophomore year is usually when college students claim a major and begin to think seriously about mapping out the future. You chose economics for a reason. Recall that reason and think big about the career path you'd like to carve out for yourself.

Then make an appointment with your guidance counselor to talk about internship opportunities. It is very smart to pursue internships, as they provide a window into worlds that may be of interest to you. Your school should be able to help you secure an internship in your area of interest. Get as many internships as you can, in a variety of areas, so that you can choose your career path with more knowledge.

If, after getting hands-on experience, you no longer are interested in economics, consider changing your major. But don't give up before learning as much as you can about this field.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I keep trying to find a fit for a young man who is in need of work, and it's just not working out. He is so nice and sincere. The problem is that he isn't good at any of the tasks I have asked him to handle. He misses deadlines even when I remind him of them, time and again. He doesn't record phone messages accurately, so I don't have the right numbers to call back clients. I could go on and on, but basically he is not a good fit for me. But I feel so guilty, because I like him and he has been loyal, even if he has not been effective.

How do I say goodbye with the least amount of pain? And how can I help him find another job? -- At the Edge, Shreveport, La.

DEAR AT THE EDGE: Be honest with this young man. Tell him that you have made a good-faith effort to carve out a role for him but that you realize you and he are not a good fit.

Recommend areas in which you think he may excel, but do so only if you honestly believe you have figured out potential paths to success for him. He may need education to shore up his skills. You can suggest that he go back to school to learn a vocation or to study a subject in which he has expressed interest and potential ability.

Be careful not to recommend him for a job that you don't think he can do, as that would tarnish your professional reputation. If he asks for a recommendation, tell him what you can say and what you cannot. Your greatest gift to him will be your honesty, so that he can figure out how to improve on the skills he currently has.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is planning a trip to Georgia, and they are asking all of the family members to travel down together on a charter bus. I don't know if I can handle the trip, because I prefer to fly everywhere I go. Besides, I can meet up with my family in Georgia. The family trip is scheduled for the end of July, and they need my answer soon. -- Ride or Fly, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR RIDE OR FLY: I understand your apprehension about riding on the bus, since that is not your usual practice. But this is a unique situation. Riding on the bus will give you the opportunity to spend quality time with your family over a lengthy period. You may discover that spending that time with them is delightful.

Of course, the prolonged captive visit also could be torturous for a variety of reasons -- everything from family bickering to motion sickness.

You clearly have choices. Decide what you want to do and let your family know. If you decide to meet the group in Georgia, simply tell them. Make it clear that you are excited to meet up with them and spend some quality time together. If anyone asks why you aren't joining them on the bus, do not tell them that you choose only to fly (which sounds pretentious). Simply say that although you couldn't make it on the bus, you look forward to seeing them all soon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm an elderly mother of four grown children who live all across the country. My children are married with their own families to be responsible for. I know they have their lives to live. All I want them to do is to pick up the phone from time to time to call their mother. I miss my children, and I just want to hear their voices. -- Please Call, Chicago

DEAR PLEASE CALL: I completely understand your sadness over the lack of regular connection with your children. Too often, family members get caught up in their daily activities and, regrettably, neglect their elders. Usually it is an unconscious action on their part. They literally don't realize how quickly time passes.

Complaining about their lack of contact will only make you seem like a grouch. Instead, start calling your children regularly. Try to select a time of the week to call when someone will be free to chat for a few minutes. Tell them how much you appreciate hearing their voices and learning about their lives. Make it easy for them to want to talk to you, and chances are they will pick up on your cues and reach out to you more often.

To other families in this position, I can only tell you that you don't want to live with the regret of not taking time to have loving interaction with your elders. Life is fleeting. Don't let your elders pass without being involved in their lives.