DEAR HARRIETTE: My family is planning a trip to Georgia, and they are asking all of the family members to travel down together on a charter bus. I don't know if I can handle the trip, because I prefer to fly everywhere I go. Besides, I can meet up with my family in Georgia. The family trip is scheduled for the end of July, and they need my answer soon. -- Ride or Fly, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR RIDE OR FLY: I understand your apprehension about riding on the bus, since that is not your usual practice. But this is a unique situation. Riding on the bus will give you the opportunity to spend quality time with your family over a lengthy period. You may discover that spending that time with them is delightful.

Of course, the prolonged captive visit also could be torturous for a variety of reasons -- everything from family bickering to motion sickness.

You clearly have choices. Decide what you want to do and let your family know. If you decide to meet the group in Georgia, simply tell them. Make it clear that you are excited to meet up with them and spend some quality time together. If anyone asks why you aren't joining them on the bus, do not tell them that you choose only to fly (which sounds pretentious). Simply say that although you couldn't make it on the bus, you look forward to seeing them all soon.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm an elderly mother of four grown children who live all across the country. My children are married with their own families to be responsible for. I know they have their lives to live. All I want them to do is to pick up the phone from time to time to call their mother. I miss my children, and I just want to hear their voices. -- Please Call, Chicago

DEAR PLEASE CALL: I completely understand your sadness over the lack of regular connection with your children. Too often, family members get caught up in their daily activities and, regrettably, neglect their elders. Usually it is an unconscious action on their part. They literally don't realize how quickly time passes.

Complaining about their lack of contact will only make you seem like a grouch. Instead, start calling your children regularly. Try to select a time of the week to call when someone will be free to chat for a few minutes. Tell them how much you appreciate hearing their voices and learning about their lives. Make it easy for them to want to talk to you, and chances are they will pick up on your cues and reach out to you more often.

To other families in this position, I can only tell you that you don't want to live with the regret of not taking time to have loving interaction with your elders. Life is fleeting. Don't let your elders pass without being involved in their lives.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I really want to have a child, and my doctor told me that soon I will be in the "danger zone" age-wise for having a healthy child. I am not in a relationship right now. My doctor says I need to find somebody who will help me have a child, or else.

I am active in my church, and I know my pastor will not look favorably on me if I have a child without being married. It goes against my religious beliefs. What can I do? -- Clock's Ticking, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR CLOCK'S TICKING: Schedule a meeting with your pastor to talk about your situation. Find out how your church feels about a sperm donor. There may be some leeway if you use medical technology, because you would not have violated the vow to refrain from sex before marriage.

Although it's clear that you want to give birth to a child, you do have the option of adopting. That would allow you to remain true to your religious convictions and have the privilege of shepherding a child through the world.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My macroeconomics teacher is an intelligent woman who knows a lot about the economy and clearly has a passion for it, which I respect. However, she is teaching only one-sided, and all our outside readings are opinionated articles that are only left-wing. I had to write about it, but writing about it made me feel I was being brainwashed into believing those opinions. My teacher does not even provide an alternative or other arguments to these topics, which is quite frustrating.

I learned that the materials she gave us were one-sided after I did more research, but that was after the fact, after I had turned in my paper. I want to address this with her. What should I do? -- Standing My Ground, New York

DEAR STANDING MY GROUND: The educational experience ideally is a well-rounded one in which students are presented with different points of view by an objective teacher. I'm sorry your teacher did not follow that protocol.

I recommend that you send a formal note to your teacher describing your disappointment that you were not exposed to the range of thinking on the topics that were taught. You can explain that you subsequently read other perspectives and wished you had had the opportunity in a class to consider all points of view. I also would send a note to the department head and/or guidance counselor with the intention of learning about curriculum protocol. It would be helpful for you to know if it's standard for your school to allow teachers to teach one perspective or if it is more common for them to be objective instructors.

In the future, if you have questions about what any of your instructors is teaching you, speak up and either schedule an appointment to discuss your questions or concerns or send an email. Typically, educators appreciate interacting with their students.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A co-worker told me in confidence that she plans to call in sick to work so she can purchase tickets for an upcoming concert. Every time someone calls in sick, our individual workload increases. I'm wondering if I should tell my manager the truth. -- Potential Whistle Blower, Jersey City, N.J.

DEAR WHISTLE BLOWER: Going to the manager about this seems extreme. Instead of helping, it is likely to create negativity in the workplace for you and your co-worker.

If you feel so strongly that she is compromising your workday or that of your other co-workers, tell her directly. You can say that you understand how excited she is about the concert but that you hope she understands how much of a hardship her absence will be on the team. You can tell her that you will cover for her during her time off and that you hope she will do the same when someone else, you included, needs a little break. You will have her back so long as she doesn't make this a practice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been in a contentious relationship for several years. Our son is going away for a week, and I'm freaking out. I'm sure my husband will want to be intimate with me, and that hasn't happened for years. I feel completely inept when it comes to that. It ended years ago when we were arguing all the time. I know it will come up. I'm not sure how to handle it.

My husband is a guy. I know he will be happy to "just do it," as the saying goes. But not me. Help! -- Frozen, Seattle

DEAR FROZEN: Unthaw enough to take control of the situation. Suggest activities outside of the house that could potentially spark tender feelings between the two of you. Go to a favorite restaurant, art gallery or a cultural event. Whatever you two have enjoyed as a couple in the past should be on your list.

Invite your husband to participate in these activities with you, and be honest. Tell him that you want to use the time when your son is away to rekindle tender feelings. If he immediately wants to skip past the foreplay to get to the end goal, slow him down.

Tell him that you realize you've been distant a long time and that the best way to get close again is to spend quality time in each other's company, so that you naturally begin to enjoy being together again.

If you are not ready to fully engage, tell him. Be sure to let him know what you are willing to do. Commit to enjoying the alone time with him.