DEAR HARRIETTE: I really want to have a child, and my doctor told me that soon I will be in the "danger zone" age-wise for having a healthy child. I am not in a relationship right now. My doctor says I need to find somebody who will help me have a child, or else.

I am active in my church, and I know my pastor will not look favorably on me if I have a child without being married. It goes against my religious beliefs. What can I do? -- Clock's Ticking, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR CLOCK'S TICKING: Schedule a meeting with your pastor to talk about your situation. Find out how your church feels about a sperm donor. There may be some leeway if you use medical technology, because you would not have violated the vow to refrain from sex before marriage.

Although it's clear that you want to give birth to a child, you do have the option of adopting. That would allow you to remain true to your religious convictions and have the privilege of shepherding a child through the world.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My macroeconomics teacher is an intelligent woman who knows a lot about the economy and clearly has a passion for it, which I respect. However, she is teaching only one-sided, and all our outside readings are opinionated articles that are only left-wing. I had to write about it, but writing about it made me feel I was being brainwashed into believing those opinions. My teacher does not even provide an alternative or other arguments to these topics, which is quite frustrating.

I learned that the materials she gave us were one-sided after I did more research, but that was after the fact, after I had turned in my paper. I want to address this with her. What should I do? -- Standing My Ground, New York

DEAR STANDING MY GROUND: The educational experience ideally is a well-rounded one in which students are presented with different points of view by an objective teacher. I'm sorry your teacher did not follow that protocol.

I recommend that you send a formal note to your teacher describing your disappointment that you were not exposed to the range of thinking on the topics that were taught. You can explain that you subsequently read other perspectives and wished you had had the opportunity in a class to consider all points of view. I also would send a note to the department head and/or guidance counselor with the intention of learning about curriculum protocol. It would be helpful for you to know if it's standard for your school to allow teachers to teach one perspective or if it is more common for them to be objective instructors.

In the future, if you have questions about what any of your instructors is teaching you, speak up and either schedule an appointment to discuss your questions or concerns or send an email. Typically, educators appreciate interacting with their students.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A co-worker told me in confidence that she plans to call in sick to work so she can purchase tickets for an upcoming concert. Every time someone calls in sick, our individual workload increases. I'm wondering if I should tell my manager the truth. -- Potential Whistle Blower, Jersey City, N.J.

DEAR WHISTLE BLOWER: Going to the manager about this seems extreme. Instead of helping, it is likely to create negativity in the workplace for you and your co-worker.

If you feel so strongly that she is compromising your workday or that of your other co-workers, tell her directly. You can say that you understand how excited she is about the concert but that you hope she understands how much of a hardship her absence will be on the team. You can tell her that you will cover for her during her time off and that you hope she will do the same when someone else, you included, needs a little break. You will have her back so long as she doesn't make this a practice.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been in a contentious relationship for several years. Our son is going away for a week, and I'm freaking out. I'm sure my husband will want to be intimate with me, and that hasn't happened for years. I feel completely inept when it comes to that. It ended years ago when we were arguing all the time. I know it will come up. I'm not sure how to handle it.

My husband is a guy. I know he will be happy to "just do it," as the saying goes. But not me. Help! -- Frozen, Seattle

DEAR FROZEN: Unthaw enough to take control of the situation. Suggest activities outside of the house that could potentially spark tender feelings between the two of you. Go to a favorite restaurant, art gallery or a cultural event. Whatever you two have enjoyed as a couple in the past should be on your list.

Invite your husband to participate in these activities with you, and be honest. Tell him that you want to use the time when your son is away to rekindle tender feelings. If he immediately wants to skip past the foreplay to get to the end goal, slow him down.

Tell him that you realize you've been distant a long time and that the best way to get close again is to spend quality time in each other's company, so that you naturally begin to enjoy being together again.

If you are not ready to fully engage, tell him. Be sure to let him know what you are willing to do. Commit to enjoying the alone time with him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, my girlfriend and I were talking and she was being unresponsive. She wasn't really answering my questions. A couple hours later, she was fine again. I thought maybe she was upset, but she just kept saying everything was fine.

Should I have pushed the issue more if I thought she was upset, or just let it go until she was ready to talk about it? -- Confused, Laredo, Texas

DEAR CONFUSED: You already know that you can't get someone to say or do anything that he or she doesn't want to say or do. So pushing your girlfriend to answer you when she doesn't want to will usually have the same result.

What you can do is establish parameters for conversation with your girlfriend. Tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable to talk when she does not respond. Acknowledge that pressuring her to respond is likely annoying to her. Ask if the two of you can come up with a workable solution that is respectful to both of you.

One idea is to suggest that you tell each other when you would like to talk. Ask if the other is free to talk at that time. If not, ask if you can talk a bit later. Schedule a time when you agree to pay attention to each other.

What may have happened in your situation is your girlfriend was distracted because she was doing something else or not interested in listening at that time. Instead of getting upset, schedule face time. It works.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently discovered there is someone who may be interested in me. He seems nice, and I'd like to be friends with him, but I have a boyfriend. Can I be his friend without implying that I want something more? -- Sought After, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR SOUGHT AFTER: It's nice to know that someone is interested in you. If this person seeks you out and makes an overture, feel free to respond to him, letting him know that you like him, too, and would enjoy being his friend. Say upfront that you are in a relationship and that you are happy.

It's important to be clear about this, because if your suitor has taken his time drumming up the courage to approach you, he may not be listening clearly. If he is looking at you through star-crossed eyes, he may magnify and misinterpret any glimmer of interest from you.

A great way to set the record straight from the beginning is to invite him to a gathering of friends that includes your boyfriend. Introduce them and make him a part of the group, rather than a one-on-one friend. That way the message should come through loud and clear. Good luck.