DEAR HARRIETTE: Recently, my girlfriend and I were talking and she was being unresponsive. She wasn't really answering my questions. A couple hours later, she was fine again. I thought maybe she was upset, but she just kept saying everything was fine.

Should I have pushed the issue more if I thought she was upset, or just let it go until she was ready to talk about it? -- Confused, Laredo, Texas

DEAR CONFUSED: You already know that you can't get someone to say or do anything that he or she doesn't want to say or do. So pushing your girlfriend to answer you when she doesn't want to will usually have the same result.

What you can do is establish parameters for conversation with your girlfriend. Tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable to talk when she does not respond. Acknowledge that pressuring her to respond is likely annoying to her. Ask if the two of you can come up with a workable solution that is respectful to both of you.

One idea is to suggest that you tell each other when you would like to talk. Ask if the other is free to talk at that time. If not, ask if you can talk a bit later. Schedule a time when you agree to pay attention to each other.

What may have happened in your situation is your girlfriend was distracted because she was doing something else or not interested in listening at that time. Instead of getting upset, schedule face time. It works.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently discovered there is someone who may be interested in me. He seems nice, and I'd like to be friends with him, but I have a boyfriend. Can I be his friend without implying that I want something more? -- Sought After, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR SOUGHT AFTER: It's nice to know that someone is interested in you. If this person seeks you out and makes an overture, feel free to respond to him, letting him know that you like him, too, and would enjoy being his friend. Say upfront that you are in a relationship and that you are happy.

It's important to be clear about this, because if your suitor has taken his time drumming up the courage to approach you, he may not be listening clearly. If he is looking at you through star-crossed eyes, he may magnify and misinterpret any glimmer of interest from you.

A great way to set the record straight from the beginning is to invite him to a gathering of friends that includes your boyfriend. Introduce them and make him a part of the group, rather than a one-on-one friend. That way the message should come through loud and clear. Good luck.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My guy friend recently confessed his love for me. I thought he was gay our entire friendship, so naturally this came as a huge shock. I don't feel the same way and don't think I ever will. I responded very awkwardly to his confession.

Is there any nice way to say "sorry, and I don't love you back"? -- Weirded Out, Bay City, Mich.

DEAR WEIRDED OUT: Isn't it interesting how our beliefs can color the way we interact with others? You felt safe being close friends with this man because you never thought of him as a potential suitor. Now the tables have turned.

You owe it to your friend to be honest. Tell him how much you value your friendship. Acknowledge that he expressed his love for you. It's very important for you to let him know that you heard him and received what he had to say. Tell him that you like or love him, too, but not in that way. Explain that you have always considered him a dear friend but that your affection for him has been and is now platonic.

I also would tell him that you had assumed he was gay. If you have any specific reasons for thinking that, you may want to be ready to tell him, if needed.

Ultimately, you need to get your sentiment across -- that you appreciate his friendship tremendously and that you are not interested in being his girlfriend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends are really unsupportive of my relationship with my girlfriend. We've been dating for more than a year, and they still get mad at me if I hang out with her instead of them or sometimes even if I hang out with her after I've hung out with them. It's completely irrational, and it's like I have a bunch of girlfriends now, all demanding my time. They also aren't very nice to her if we hang out in a group. How can I fix this? -- Frustrated, Rochester, N.Y.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Sit your friends down and talk to them. Tell them that you care deeply for them AND your girlfriend. Lay it out for them that they have been behaving in a childish and unnecessary way. You do not want to have to choose between your friends and your girlfriend. You would appreciate them giving her the basic respect they would desire for their partners.

Ask them directly why they have been acting so unkindly. If they have a beef with your girlfriend, urge them to tell you exactly what it is. If they are simply jealous that she is taking you away from them, let them know that what's taking you away from them is their irrational behavior.

Of course, when you are dating, you divide your time. But if they continue to be rude, you may have to choose to step away from them. Ask them if that's what they want.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor asked if he could borrow my brand-new lawn mower because his was in need of serious repair. In good faith, I let my neighbor use the mower. I told him that I would be out of town for a few days and would pick up my mower when I returned.

When I got back from my trip, the lawn mower was in front of my house, and I checked to see if there was any damage. I noticed the blade was broken. Should I ask my neighbor to pay for the replacement blade? -- Good Neighbor, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR GOOD NEIGHBOR: You have every right to ask your neighbor to replace the blade.

I would start by paying him a visit and letting him know that you received the lawn mower. See if he has anything to say before you mention the blade. It could be that he will immediately tell you the blade broke and that he is ready to replace it. Since he didn't replace it already, though, chances are he will not be so forthcoming or willing to do the right thing.

If he is not, tell him that you noticed the blade was broken. Ask what happened. Prompt him to tell you his story. Ask if he would like to get the mower fixed or if he would prefer to have you bring him the bill.

It's OK to be that direct. He did not hesitate to ask to use your mower. Don't hesitate to ask him to repair what he broke.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend asked if I would be willing to go on a blind date for a dating column. I do not know all the details of this blind date, but I will know shortly.

Here is my dilemma/question: I became friends with a beautiful woman, and we enjoy each other's company. We have good chemistry, and I can see a relationship developing in the near future. There are no ties between us right now. She actually was in a relationship that seems to have ended, but we operate with no strings attached.

' Do I tell her about this potential blind date, or do I gracefully pass on the blind date? -- Decisions, Chicago

DEAR DECISIONS: Since you really like this woman, tell her what's going on. Ask for her advice on your next steps. The reality is that if you go on this date, you may end up being named in print as the guinea pig on the blind date. She may discover it regardless of whether you say anything.

Don't risk embarrassment or confusion. Talk about it. The conversation may help you and this woman gain insight into where the two of you stand.

Ultimately, if you are really into her, I suggest you not go on the date. Tell her why you made your decision -- and ask her out.