DEAR HARRIETTE: My guy friend recently confessed his love for me. I thought he was gay our entire friendship, so naturally this came as a huge shock. I don't feel the same way and don't think I ever will. I responded very awkwardly to his confession.

Is there any nice way to say "sorry, and I don't love you back"? -- Weirded Out, Bay City, Mich.

DEAR WEIRDED OUT: Isn't it interesting how our beliefs can color the way we interact with others? You felt safe being close friends with this man because you never thought of him as a potential suitor. Now the tables have turned.

You owe it to your friend to be honest. Tell him how much you value your friendship. Acknowledge that he expressed his love for you. It's very important for you to let him know that you heard him and received what he had to say. Tell him that you like or love him, too, but not in that way. Explain that you have always considered him a dear friend but that your affection for him has been and is now platonic.

I also would tell him that you had assumed he was gay. If you have any specific reasons for thinking that, you may want to be ready to tell him, if needed.

Ultimately, you need to get your sentiment across -- that you appreciate his friendship tremendously and that you are not interested in being his girlfriend.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends are really unsupportive of my relationship with my girlfriend. We've been dating for more than a year, and they still get mad at me if I hang out with her instead of them or sometimes even if I hang out with her after I've hung out with them. It's completely irrational, and it's like I have a bunch of girlfriends now, all demanding my time. They also aren't very nice to her if we hang out in a group. How can I fix this? -- Frustrated, Rochester, N.Y.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Sit your friends down and talk to them. Tell them that you care deeply for them AND your girlfriend. Lay it out for them that they have been behaving in a childish and unnecessary way. You do not want to have to choose between your friends and your girlfriend. You would appreciate them giving her the basic respect they would desire for their partners.

Ask them directly why they have been acting so unkindly. If they have a beef with your girlfriend, urge them to tell you exactly what it is. If they are simply jealous that she is taking you away from them, let them know that what's taking you away from them is their irrational behavior.

Of course, when you are dating, you divide your time. But if they continue to be rude, you may have to choose to step away from them. Ask them if that's what they want.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My next-door neighbor asked if he could borrow my brand-new lawn mower because his was in need of serious repair. In good faith, I let my neighbor use the mower. I told him that I would be out of town for a few days and would pick up my mower when I returned.

When I got back from my trip, the lawn mower was in front of my house, and I checked to see if there was any damage. I noticed the blade was broken. Should I ask my neighbor to pay for the replacement blade? -- Good Neighbor, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR GOOD NEIGHBOR: You have every right to ask your neighbor to replace the blade.

I would start by paying him a visit and letting him know that you received the lawn mower. See if he has anything to say before you mention the blade. It could be that he will immediately tell you the blade broke and that he is ready to replace it. Since he didn't replace it already, though, chances are he will not be so forthcoming or willing to do the right thing.

If he is not, tell him that you noticed the blade was broken. Ask what happened. Prompt him to tell you his story. Ask if he would like to get the mower fixed or if he would prefer to have you bring him the bill.

It's OK to be that direct. He did not hesitate to ask to use your mower. Don't hesitate to ask him to repair what he broke.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend asked if I would be willing to go on a blind date for a dating column. I do not know all the details of this blind date, but I will know shortly.

Here is my dilemma/question: I became friends with a beautiful woman, and we enjoy each other's company. We have good chemistry, and I can see a relationship developing in the near future. There are no ties between us right now. She actually was in a relationship that seems to have ended, but we operate with no strings attached.

' Do I tell her about this potential blind date, or do I gracefully pass on the blind date? -- Decisions, Chicago

DEAR DECISIONS: Since you really like this woman, tell her what's going on. Ask for her advice on your next steps. The reality is that if you go on this date, you may end up being named in print as the guinea pig on the blind date. She may discover it regardless of whether you say anything.

Don't risk embarrassment or confusion. Talk about it. The conversation may help you and this woman gain insight into where the two of you stand.

Ultimately, if you are really into her, I suggest you not go on the date. Tell her why you made your decision -- and ask her out.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was working a new job, and my adviser was invaluable to me. I called him almost every day for input to make sure my project was successful. He always took my calls and gave me expert advice. My project turned out great.

When it was finished, he invited me to lunch and told me he had been diagnosed with cancer and had undergone major surgery while we were working together. I felt so horrible, because I never would have relied on him so much had I known he was ill. How can I show him how much I appreciate his unselfish support? And how can I stop feeling guilty for calling him so much? -- Feeling Guilty, Flint, Mich.

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: What's most important for you to remember is that your adviser chose not to tell you about his illness until your project was complete. He likely knew you would pull back from him, and he wanted to be able to fully support your effort. You did not know he was ill, and you do not need to feel guilty.

Instead, feel good about the fact that he did help you and you were able to complete your project successfully. That should make both of you proud.

To show your appreciation, stay in touch with your adviser and offer to help him in any way you can. You also can continue to do excellent work. Your adviser obviously values you and your work. Prove that his efforts on your behalf were and are worth it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: What do you do when you are in a taxi and the driver is really rude and acts like every other driver is crazy except him? I was just in a taxi, and the driver was irate -- yelling and screaming at other drivers, honking his horn and acting crazy. I was afraid to say anything because I didn't want him to yell at me.

What should I have done? Should I have demanded to get out of the car? Reported him to somebody? -- Petrified Passenger, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR PETRIFIED PASSENGER: I'm sorry you had such a horrifying experience. I wish I could say that such a thing is rare, but it's not. Many people who frequently use taxis in New York City have had a driver who is frustrated and in an intense emotional state. Does that make it all right? Of course not.

You could have jotted down the driver's name and ID number and reported him to the New York City Taxi and Limousine Commission. You definitely could have asked him to pull over and let you out. You would have had to pay for the fare, but for safety's sake, exiting that taxi would have been wise.

You also could have tried to distract the driver by speaking calmly to him. A person who is emotional sometimes responds positively to a soothing voice.