DEAR HARRIETTE: I read the following status update of one of my good friends, Jeffrey: "Hey, guys! It's time to fight for what's right. I quit my job today. No job or financial security. I'm following my dream."

I was shocked but inspired. I wanted to do the same thing. But how could I explain to my wife that I'm quitting my 10-year government job to launch a nonprofit organization? We are $10,000 in debt, and she's expecting a baby. I'm afraid this won't resonate well. What should I do? -- Afraid to Make the Break, Arlington, Va.

DEAR AFRAID: You should be frightened. Perhaps your friend was poised to be able to take such a leap of faith in his life. If so, God bless him. But you are not in the same position. Your responsibilities are rightfully telling you to reduce and ultimately eliminate your debt and create as safe a space as you can for your growing family.

Is it OK for you to be inspired and to dream about a future like Jeffrey's? Sure. But dreaming is different from acting.

I urge you to dream about your future. What does it look like in your boldest vision? With that image in mind -- and with input from your wife -- map out a plan to make your vision come true. Then work and follow the steps it takes to get there -- at your pace, nobody else's.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Should I tell my best friend that I caused her breakup more than five years ago? One drunken night, I accidentally told her ex of her trifling, cheating ways. She always wondered why he broke up with her all of a sudden, but he swore he would never tell. And he didn’t. Now they are dating again.

Every time I look at him, I think about what I did. The guilt is swirling around my head. I can't stop thinking about it.

Help me weigh the pros and cons of telling my best friend of seven years this deep, dark secret. Should I just bury this secret and act as if I didn't do anything? -- Feeling Guilty, Salt Lake City

DEAR FEELING GUILTY: I have a question for you: Why do you want to confess to your friend? If the reason is that you feel guilty, I say, get over it.

If you tell her about your indiscretion now, after she and her ex have found their way back to each other, your disclosure will be about you. But this relationship is not about you. It's about your friend.

If her ex has come back to her after learning about her previous suspect behavior, let them be. What you can learn from this situation is that it's unwise to get drunk. Bad things often happen when people drink too much. And remember to stay out of people's business. If you stay in your lane, you will be able to sleep better at night.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My two best friends are successful women -- great jobs, married with kids, huge houses -- but I'm not, and I'm feeling quite depressed about the situation.

We've been best friends for about 10 years, and we've never had a problem with jealousy. My girls have supported me through my bad breakups and mishaps, and I have done the same for them. I'm really troubled by my envious feelings, which are currently out of my control.

Why am I feeling like this? It is really selfish of me. Harriette, please help! I'm afraid my feelings will show the next time we get together. -- Jealous, Greensboro, N.C.

DEAR JEALOUS: You are experiencing the delusion of "the grass is always greener," which tells you that your friends have better lives than you do. And on the outside, it may seem so. They have the things most people say they want.

But even if your friends are happy, trust that they are dealing with issues that cause them stress, just like you are. Their struggles may be different, but no one is without struggle.

Instead of envying your friends' lives, be grateful for the friendships you have. Do what my mother taught me when I was a child: Count your blessings. Especially when times get tough, literally write down the good things that you can claim about your life. Interestingly, you will likely include your friends. This may help to calm your envious feelings.

Because you are so close to these women, it's OK for you to tell them about your current discomfort. You can say that you are feeling envious about their lives, even though you know it's not right. Explain that you mean them no harm but that you are wrestling with the reality of your life -- that you aren't married, that you don't have the big job or house, and that their success reminds you of what you don't yet have. Chances are that they will open up to you about the pros and cons of their lives. Your friendships may become stronger.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend's birthday is coming up, and she has invited me to her birthday party. We have few mutual friends, so if I go, I will not know many people there.

I want to go to the party to be there for her, but I am afraid I will end up clinging to her because I won't know anyone else. I obviously don't want to monopolize her time or annoy her on her special day, so I am having a bit of a dilemma. Should I go to the party or say I am busy that day? -- Odd One Out, Shreveport, La.

DEAR ODD ONE OUT: Go to the party. Decide that you will make it a mission to meet and connect with your friend’s friends. Be gracious and leave when you become uncomfortable. You can do this.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is pretty possessive. If we are in a group, he likes to be the center of my attention, and he doesn't like it if I mention other guys who are just friends. It's not at a point where he is being mean about it or anything, and it doesn’t seem like anything too abnormal. But in case it gets worse, how can I tell him to calm down a bit? -- Under Scrutiny, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR UNDER SCRUTINY: Take a step back and think about your life and what you want in a relationship. Then ask yourself if there is a reason for your boyfriend to be jealous of your male friends. What is your relationship like with them? Be honest: Have you given him any reason to be concerned? If so, you'll need to deal with that. If not, you should seriously think about the man you have claimed as your boyfriend.

Someone who is jealous today will continue to be jealous in the future. Possessiveness can be a dangerous trait. If you believe your boyfriend honestly fits most of the criteria you have articulated for a high-quality relationship, then talk to him about his behavior and ask him to work on it with you. If, however, you are skeptical about his assets and whether he meets your criteria for a relationship, say goodbye now, before he gets too attached.

The person you can control in this situation is you. Decide if it's worth it for you to be in what could be a volatile relationship.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I like a guy who I'm pretty sure likes me, but he won't admit it. Everyone can tell that we are very flirty and into each other. My friend said she would purposely talk about my prom date, who is not my crush, in front of my crush to make him jealous. Is this wrong? Does jealousy work? -- Hopeful, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR HOPEFUL: I'm not a big fan of making people jealous to get their attention. I know it is a strategy that some people love, but I prefer honesty.

If you like this guy, tell him. You can do that by inviting him to join your group of friends for an activity and making sure the two of you spend some time together.

Ultimately, you should tell him you like him and see what he says. Do that privately so that whatever the outcome, it's between the two of you rather than on display for others to witness and make comment.

Many males are just as shy as females, and often they are unsure how to let girls know of their interest. Translation: Sometimes the good guys, or at least the shy guys, need a little help. The good news is that giving them a little help is often worth it. So stop your friend from talking about your prom date and make a move!