DEAR HARRIETTE: To the student who was annoyed by a classmate who refused to get a Facebook page to communicate, you advised using Google Docs or Skype. As hard as it is for many of us to consider, there are still people who do not have reliable access to the Internet, or even to a computer. It's not fair to penalize a student for something that may be out of his or her control.

As it is, I fail to see what is so difficult about keeping this student up-to-date on committee activities. Have we really gotten to the point where a quick conversation with someone is too difficult? Why not have someone jot down quick notes, or give the student a quick phone call? I feel like this is being made more difficult than it ought to be. -- Stunned, Shreveport, La.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I would like to weigh in on your column regarding a club member's refusal to go on Facebook. I, too, refuse to participate with Facebook because I feel it is a tribute to one's vanity. My life is not fascinating, nor are the daily "doings" of others.

Perhaps young people who want the world to know where they ate or what kind of shoes they purchased think others are fascinated by such drivel, but, frankly, I doubt they are. This recent desire to have EVERYTHING in one's life shared on Facebook because one thinks he or she is special and unique is a sign of total immaturity and narcissism, in my opinion.

There is nothing stopping the officer for the community service club and her co-officers from emailing this individual or (gasp) phoning her, but of course she, I am sure, is much too busy to do so. Officers in little organizations such as hers have an overblown sense of their own importance, as in this case, since she is soooo irritated that she must be inconvenienced a bit! -- Other Side of the Coin, Chicago

DEAR STUNNED AND OTHER SIDE: Thank you for your letters. You make some valid points, and I would like to go a little deeper with this discussion.

The letter writer made it clear that the student in question had a computer but chose not to use Facebook. That's why I recommended the other online options.

Of course, in general, it is smart to have the option of personal interaction, as well as note taking, for any organization. I think the reason the original writer was promoting Facebook is that it allows multiple people to communicate simultaneously with ease. Technology does have its benefits.

Regarding the anger that Other Side feels, I understand that some people -- young and otherwise -- use social media to share trivial information regarding their lives, but that is not what this person wanted to do. This student's group was interested in using technology to make its work easier. That is an honorable pursuit, even if it didn't work because of one of the member's preferences.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need some help addressing the topic of peer pressure. I'm a single mom, and I toil to raise my child to be grounded and to love the Lord. At my daughter's school, a classmate asked her to smoke a cigarette, and my daughter refused. She then went to tell her teacher. Over dinner, my daughter told me what happened, and I was proud that she said no.

My daughter is 13 years old, and she is a good girl. I know I will not be able to see her every move when I'm not around, but I want to make sure she does not succumb to peer pressure. -- Concerned Mom, St. Louis

DEAR CONCERNED MOM: You are on the right track, and your daughter just put an exclamation mark on it!

Your job is to give your child the tools to make good decisions when you aren't around, by thinking through any situation and considering the pros and cons. This doesn't mean that she will always make the same decisions you would make.

At this stage in her life, she should have a fairly clear view of how she would respond in different situations, based on all that she has been taught and has experienced. But you still have time to correct her course, if needed. Continue to present to her a variety of challenges that she may encounter, and ask how she might respond. This type of exercise is most helpful if you can actively listen rather than simply tell her what to do. You want to learn how she thinks. Remind her that just because others make different choices doesn't mean that she needs to follow them.

I teach my daughter, who is 8, that every family has its rules and ways of living. We don't need to evaluate or judge their rules. Our role is to follow our own guidelines because they empower us.

Continue to empower your daughter. You are doing a great job!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a manager with a financial company, and I need some help encouraging my team. We just finished our busiest time of the year, and our department did not reach the sales goals that were set for us. My team members are now showing a lack of interest in coming to work, and I need to find a way to lift their spirits. I have a great team, and we work in the most challenging department of the company. I need help. -- Frustrated Manager, Jersey City, N.J.

DEAR FRUSTRATED MANAGER: Especially in a down period, it is important for leaders to find ways to show their teams their potential. Do the analysis and let your team know that success is around the corner. Remind team members that the opportunity is before them to make record sales. Encourage them constantly. Create activities that show you care about them and provide incentives, if you can, to make success more appealing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who means well, but she sometimes says things I take offense to. She will make comments about what I'm eating if she doesn't deem it healthy, and she has told me I could lose a few pounds. She doesn't say it to be malicious, but how can I remedy this without causing drama? She is becoming a broken record.

I have a bit of a weight problem, but I recently started a fitness routine with a trainer, so I'm on it. I would appreciate encouragement rather than constant critiquing. -- Feeling Fat, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR FEELING FAT: Congratulations on taking steps to become healthy. The best thing you can do for yourself is to claim a healthy lifestyle and then maintain it.

This is a lot easier said than done. It requires discipline, focus and consistency. I wish you the courage and conviction to stay the course.

Meanwhile, enroll your friend as a cheerleader. Assure her that you are paying attention to your health, and reveal your new fitness plan to her. Share how excited you are about developing this discipline. Ask her to support you, then describe what support looks like to you. Be sure to tell her that you prefer she not scrutinize your food choices, and that you are uncomfortable when she criticizes you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom signs me up for things without asking me. She recently signed me up for a program that will require me to take two days off of a prospective job and stay in a hotel away from home. I told her I didn't want to do it, but she just ignored me and said she knows what's best for me. I'm legally an adult, yet she's treating me like a child. (I do still live at home, and I think that's why she feels she can tell me what to do.)

How can I let her know that I can make my own decisions about whether or not I want to do something? -- Babied, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR BABIED: You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother in which you share with her your hopes, dreams and plans. Tell your mother that you are grateful you are welcome to live in the family home as you begin your life as an adult, but that you want her to begin thinking of you as an adult.

Tell her that you have been working hard to determine how you spend your time. Signing you up for a program without your blessing, however well intentioned, was not respectful of you. Assure your mother that you appreciate her interest in your success. Ask her to support you by talking to you and engaging you in ideas about your future rather than jumping in and making decisions for you.

Please know that it can be challenging for a mother to recognize that her child has become an adult and should make his or her own decisions. You are in a transition period. When you move, it will be easier.