DEAR HARRIETTE: I need some help addressing the topic of peer pressure. I'm a single mom, and I toil to raise my child to be grounded and to love the Lord. At my daughter's school, a classmate asked her to smoke a cigarette, and my daughter refused. She then went to tell her teacher. Over dinner, my daughter told me what happened, and I was proud that she said no.

My daughter is 13 years old, and she is a good girl. I know I will not be able to see her every move when I'm not around, but I want to make sure she does not succumb to peer pressure. -- Concerned Mom, St. Louis

DEAR CONCERNED MOM: You are on the right track, and your daughter just put an exclamation mark on it!

Your job is to give your child the tools to make good decisions when you aren't around, by thinking through any situation and considering the pros and cons. This doesn't mean that she will always make the same decisions you would make.

At this stage in her life, she should have a fairly clear view of how she would respond in different situations, based on all that she has been taught and has experienced. But you still have time to correct her course, if needed. Continue to present to her a variety of challenges that she may encounter, and ask how she might respond. This type of exercise is most helpful if you can actively listen rather than simply tell her what to do. You want to learn how she thinks. Remind her that just because others make different choices doesn't mean that she needs to follow them.

I teach my daughter, who is 8, that every family has its rules and ways of living. We don't need to evaluate or judge their rules. Our role is to follow our own guidelines because they empower us.

Continue to empower your daughter. You are doing a great job!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm a manager with a financial company, and I need some help encouraging my team. We just finished our busiest time of the year, and our department did not reach the sales goals that were set for us. My team members are now showing a lack of interest in coming to work, and I need to find a way to lift their spirits. I have a great team, and we work in the most challenging department of the company. I need help. -- Frustrated Manager, Jersey City, N.J.

DEAR FRUSTRATED MANAGER: Especially in a down period, it is important for leaders to find ways to show their teams their potential. Do the analysis and let your team know that success is around the corner. Remind team members that the opportunity is before them to make record sales. Encourage them constantly. Create activities that show you care about them and provide incentives, if you can, to make success more appealing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who means well, but she sometimes says things I take offense to. She will make comments about what I'm eating if she doesn't deem it healthy, and she has told me I could lose a few pounds. She doesn't say it to be malicious, but how can I remedy this without causing drama? She is becoming a broken record.

I have a bit of a weight problem, but I recently started a fitness routine with a trainer, so I'm on it. I would appreciate encouragement rather than constant critiquing. -- Feeling Fat, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR FEELING FAT: Congratulations on taking steps to become healthy. The best thing you can do for yourself is to claim a healthy lifestyle and then maintain it.

This is a lot easier said than done. It requires discipline, focus and consistency. I wish you the courage and conviction to stay the course.

Meanwhile, enroll your friend as a cheerleader. Assure her that you are paying attention to your health, and reveal your new fitness plan to her. Share how excited you are about developing this discipline. Ask her to support you, then describe what support looks like to you. Be sure to tell her that you prefer she not scrutinize your food choices, and that you are uncomfortable when she criticizes you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom signs me up for things without asking me. She recently signed me up for a program that will require me to take two days off of a prospective job and stay in a hotel away from home. I told her I didn't want to do it, but she just ignored me and said she knows what's best for me. I'm legally an adult, yet she's treating me like a child. (I do still live at home, and I think that's why she feels she can tell me what to do.)

How can I let her know that I can make my own decisions about whether or not I want to do something? -- Babied, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR BABIED: You need to have a heart-to-heart talk with your mother in which you share with her your hopes, dreams and plans. Tell your mother that you are grateful you are welcome to live in the family home as you begin your life as an adult, but that you want her to begin thinking of you as an adult.

Tell her that you have been working hard to determine how you spend your time. Signing you up for a program without your blessing, however well intentioned, was not respectful of you. Assure your mother that you appreciate her interest in your success. Ask her to support you by talking to you and engaging you in ideas about your future rather than jumping in and making decisions for you.

Please know that it can be challenging for a mother to recognize that her child has become an adult and should make his or her own decisions. You are in a transition period. When you move, it will be easier.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like I am addicted to the Internet. I do everything on the computer -- surf the Web, watch TV and movies, listen to music, even interact with my friends through Facebook, Skype and instant messaging. I don't want to become a couch potato, but the Internet is so important to my life and the lives of most of my friends that it is almost as if I don't have a choice but to use the computer a lot.

How can I limit my computer usage without falling behind socially? -- Plugged In, Flint, Mich.

DEAR PLUGGED IN: I have a revolutionary idea: Use the Internet to invite your friends to meet you at a place where you can physically be in one another's company. Make the activity appealing so that your friends will be intrigued enough to show up. Once the event is successful, it will be easier to get people to come out for another activity.

Essentially, you will be reminding people how rewarding shared, face-to-face experiences can be.

Additionally, I recommend that you ration your time on the Internet. Decide that you will step away from the computer for social encounters, for rest, for chores and for you-time independent of it. I believe your social contacts will be curious about why you aren't as plugged in as before and seek you out. You may win bigger than you can even imagine.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school senior, and I plan to attend a four-year university in the fall. I am supposed to be designating my preferred housing option now, including whether I want a roommate. At my school, if one requests a single room, he or she will probably get it.

I am tempted to ask for a single because I would appreciate the space and privacy. However, nearly all freshmen live in doubles or triples, and I am afraid I will be missing out on the quintessential first-year experience if I don't have a roommate. Is it worth sacrificing the convenience of a single? -- Future Freshman

DEAR FUTURE FRESHMAN: The good news is that you probably don't have to have a roommate all four years, since as a freshman you are being given the option of a single room. (Many colleges and universities require freshmen to have at least one roommate.)

Since you are intrigued by the social experience of welcoming a roommate, I say, go for it. Be aware that you may have a broad range of experiences -- from fun and exciting to frustrating and boring. Savor them all. Then, when your sophomore year comes, you can decide if you want to share again or go solo.