DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been invited to a pool party later this summer, and I am totally freaked out. The woman who invited me is rail-thin, just like all of her friends. I am overweight and definitely not ready for prime time. I will not be putting on a bathing suit.

How can I go to the party and be comfortable? Should I just not go? I like this woman, but I don't really like my body right now. -- Under Wraps, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR UNDER WRAPS: Don't fret, at least not about how to get through the party. You do not have to swim. Believe it or not, many people -- women, in particular -- go to pool and beach parties and hang out rather than take a dip.

I can assure you that women of every body type often feel insecure when it comes to slipping into the pool. You probably won't be alone in your skittishness. If you do decide to get in, I bet you won't have a pool full of women gawking at you to size you up.

The other great news is that absolutely every type of beach cover-up you could imagine is in stores right now. You can find a lovely, flowing cover-up that looks elegant and hides any body parts about which you may be feeling insecure.

For your own good, start some type of fitness routine that will get you healthy and toned. Meanwhile, trust that you will be welcomed and not judged at the party. Go and have a great time!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have recently been in the company of too many people with bad breath. As much as I want to talk to these people in casual conversation, I have been put off by serious halitosis. One dude knew his breath stank, and he tried to cover up his mouth when he was talking. Of course, then it was hard for me to understand his muffled voice.

I can't go around offering gum or mints all the time. What can I do, shy of vomiting, after I suck in so much stench? -- Bombarded, Shreveport, La.

DEAR BOMBARDED: Many people do not take good enough care of their teeth and overall oral health. Some people do not brush their teeth daily. (I know. Yuck.) Others have gum disease or other ailments that cause halitosis.

You are right that you cannot offer everyone quick mint fixes or recommend that they visit a doctor or dentist. But you can stand upwind of them. You can turn your head when the person's breath is wafting right toward your nose. You can do like the man you mentioned and cover your nose with your hand, hopefully blocking the fumes without seeming too obvious. You can stay a few feet away from the person while talking, or even move around as you speak. I feel your pain!

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I broke up last year. She found out, months after the breakup, that during our relationship I cheated on her twice by kissing another girl. She hasn't tried to talk to me about it since she found out; I know she found out only because we have mutual friends who told me.

Lately I've been missing her -- not in a romantic way, just having her as a friend and someone in my life. Is there any way I could get her friendship back? -- Lonely, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR LONELY: You can't get anything back until you apologize for your behavior. Since your mutual friends have let you know that your ex is aware of your indiscretion, reach out to her. Tell her that you are sorry you betrayed her and hurt her feelings. Ask how she's doing. Listen to learn her state of mind.

You should be prepared to talk about the demise of your relationship. Why did you break up? Are you clear on the reasons? Was your cheating a part of it? To the best of your ability, be ready to articulate why you think the two of you are not together.

If you honestly believe that you want to be friends, you can tell her you miss her friendship. Ask if she would like to try to be friends. Be clear that you aren't asking her to be your girlfriend but that you would like to be able to talk to her sometimes.

You already hurt her once. Don't do it again by luring her with the possibility of a friendship that could turn into something more. Be crystal clear about your intentions, and honor whatever choice she makes.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I'm currently in prison. I'm writing to you for some help. I have a dream of becoming a songwriter, and my ultimate goal is to be a professional musician. I'm 24 years old, and by the time I get out of prison I will be 37. Do you think I would be able to pursue a career in music? -- Chasing a Dream, Orangeburg, S.C.

DEAR CHASING A DREAM: It's important for you to believe that you can completely transform your life, especially after you get out of prison. Use your time there to write songs and learn as much about music and the music industry as you can. Stay on the pulse of what touches people's hearts, because that's usually the kind of message that lives in popular music.

You have a long time to wait before being released. Make a timeline of tasks you can complete that will bring you closer to your goal, and check them off one by one. Research record companies and publishing houses that may be of interest to you when you shop your music. Find out if there are any music programs in your facility that can support you as you work on your music. Don't give up.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a married wife (25 years old) with a small child and one on the way. My husband and I live in a small, three-story apartment. We know most of the people living around us, including the divorced woman (about 45) living directly below our apartment.

A few nights ago she brought home a guy. The weather was warm, and we had our windows open for the night. This lady had her bedroom windows open as well. In the middle of the night, my husband and I could hear this woman and the man having sex. It was disgusting.

This isn't the first time this has happened. While she is free to bring home whomever she wants, she should keep quiet any and all sounds between the two of them. How do I politely tell her that we can hear her and that she should close her windows for privacy? -- Sound-Proof, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR SOUND-PROOF: I believe your gripe with this woman is not just about the fact that you hear her having sex, but also that you don't approve of her having sex with whomever. I know you say you don't care, but your letter sounds as if you do.

So, for starters, I want you to let go of any judgment you have about her. Otherwise, whenever you communicate with her, you may come across as insulting. Keep your goal in mind: no more sex sounds.

It's likely your neighbor doesn't realize that she can be heard, and there's a good chance she may be embarrassed to know that you hear her. Approach her with the belief that she will be surprised and will be interested in resolving the matter.

You can speak to her privately and ask that she close her window during those personal moments. Or slip a note under her door telling her your concerns.

Now, there is a chance it won't work. She may not care. If that's the case, you can either close your window or get a white-noise machine to help dull the sounds coming from her window into yours.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Before my mother passed away from her long battle with lung cancer, she and my father renewed their wedding vows on her deathbed. It was the most amazing experience in my life, and I cried like a baby seeing my father renew his wedding vows.

My relationship with my father has not been the best over the past few years, and I would like to make it better. What are some ways I can improve the relationship? -- For the Love of Mom, Chicago

DEAR FOR THE LOVE OF MOM: Choose to spend time with your father. Ask him to tell you stories of his relationship with your mother: how they met, when they fell in love, what it was like when you were young. Get him to travel down memory lane. That should warm him up.

Tell him stories about your life. Storytelling is a great way to connect with loved ones and may become the salve that heals and strengthens your bond.