DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a pretty affluent area. It seems like all my friends have endless disposable income, whereas I do not. We always go out to expensive restaurants, shop at expensive stores and do other things that cost a lot of money.

I don't really have the funds to keep up this lifestyle, but I still want to keep my friends. I feel awkward flat-out telling them I don't have enough money to do what they want to do, but I have to say something. What should I say? -- On a Budget, Scarsdale, N.Y.

DEAR ON A BUDGET: It's likely your friends haven't given a second thought to how much your activities cost. Rather than telling them that you can't keep up, you may want to get creative and start recommending other activities to explore.

Instead of going shopping all the time, for example, take a drive to a fun park where people your age go. Invite them to a movie night at your home where you watch an old movie that everyone would enjoy and you serve light refreshments. When you do go shopping with them, look but don't buy. "Shop looking" is a fun pursuit if you approach it in that way.

When it comes to the pricey restaurants, I think you are going to have to tell them that the plan for the day is out of your price range. You can say it with humor, but you will need to get the point across sometime. Suggest a fun, more affordable option so that you fill the potentially awkward pause with an alternative.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am starting a new job soon, and I am not really sure what the dress code is. I feel a little uncomfortable asking my soon-to-be boss yet another question about the job. Should I just dress formally and possibly be overdressed on my first day? Should I dress down? Or, should I just ask? -- Dress for Success, Rochester, N.Y.

DEAR DRESS FOR SUCCESS: I definitely think it's fine to ask. Your future boss will likely be impressed and thank you for inquiring in advance about proper attire. It shows that you are thinking about how to best present yourself.

If you cannot reach your boss, you can ask your boss's assistant or reach out to someone in human resources. A dress code may be listed in an employee handbook. If not, I always recommend erring on the more formal side for starters.

Do you remember how your boss and others were dressed when you had your interview? That can help you determine what "formal" means at your new company. In some workplaces, people wear suits and dresses with hosiery. In many other workplaces, the dress code is more relaxed.

Regardless, I would not recommend jeans for the first day -- or even the first week. Jeans are very casual. Good luck with your new job!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an officer for a community service club at my school, and my co-officers and I communicate primarily through Facebook. It makes things simple and quick, and it is a great way for us to communicate when we are not together in person.

But one of the officers does not have a Facebook page. This makes it difficult to get in touch with her quickly, and she usually has to be filled in on whatever we spoke about online the next time we meet in person. Doing this is frustrating and time-consuming.

We obviously can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, but she is hurting the club by not having a Facebook page. How do we let her know this, and what should we do to solve the problem? -- Technological Challenge, Kalamazoo, Mich.

DEAR TECHNOLOGICAL CHALLENGE: Believe it or not, there are people who are averse to Facebook and other social media outlets. As you said, you cannot force this person to join. You can suggest a compromise that will likely serve your needs. If everyone is willing to get a Gmail address, you can use Google Docs to communicate in real time on one document and share your thoughts.

You might also consider Skype as a way to communicate. You can see and hear each other in real time to talk about your club's needs. A number of smartphones, in addition to your computer, allow for use of Skype. Don't give up. Get creative.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was younger, I'll admit it: I was pretty mean to my younger sister. Now that I am a little older, I like to think that I am much nicer to her.

Still, I feel like my sister sees me the way I used to be. For example, I have tried to give her constructive criticism and advice, but it usually ends in her yelling at me and refusing to listen. I guess I can't really blame her, but as an older sister I feel like I have some things to say that could actually help her.

How do I get my sister to believe that I am really just trying to help her and not being overly critical or cruel? -- Reformed Sibling, Ann Arbor, Mich.

DEAR REFORMED SIBLING: Have you ever sincerely apologized to your sister for the way you used to treat her? I think that's the place to start. She needs to know that you love her and respect her and want the best for her. She needs to be clear that you are aware of your bad behavior when you were younger, and that you realize it was unkind and cruel. Tell her how sorry you are for treating her badly back then.

Tell her that your intention now is to share your wisdom and support, not to criticize her unnecessarily. Ask if she will try to listen as you attempt to communicate in a more loving manner.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, I moved cross-country to New York. I tried to stay in contact with my old friends, but I pretty much lost touch with all of them.

I recently found out that one of my best friends from where I used to live is visiting New York and wants to see me. Of course I said yes, but I am nervous that it will be awkward and that we will run out of things to say in the first five minutes.

We used to be so close. How do I get things back to the way they were? -- Blast From the Past, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR BLAST FROM THE PAST: Stop beating yourself up. Take a deep breath and then accept that you have to live in the present. You cannot make things the way they were, so stop trying.

Think about what kinds of activities your friend might enjoy. Plan a schedule of fun things to do in New York that will pleasantly occupy your time. People who live in the city rarely do the touristy things, but they can be fun. Consider a visit to the Statue of Liberty, Freedom Tower and Central Park as options.

As far as topics for discussion, ask about your friend's life. People usually like to talk about themselves, so chances are good that your friend will start talking and you can be a good listener. Interject when it feels natural.

In turn, you can talk about your life, your work and what you do for fun. Just be you. There's no need to apologize for not being in touch. Stay in the present, and enjoy each other's company. It's likely you won't feel that awkward space that you anticipate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a really talented singer and who loves to perform. She is smart, funny and immensely talented. I really think she has what it takes to make it in the music business if she just tried, but she says she doesn't want to. However, I think she does; she is just too scared.

Should I push her to follow her dreams or just let her make her own choices? -- (Sort of) Stage Mom, Gallup, N.M.

DEAR STAGE MOM: Only your friend can make the decision to go for this musical dream. What you can do is introduce her to activities in your town or nearby that may expose her to professional music options. For example, if there's a local musical theater, buy tickets and take her to see a performance. If your local library or YMCA hosts music classes, you can give her a class as a gift. That may spark her interest in further pursuing her musical talents.

It is possible your friend will continue to sing only as a hobby. That's OK, too.