DEAR HARRIETTE: I am an officer for a community service club at my school, and my co-officers and I communicate primarily through Facebook. It makes things simple and quick, and it is a great way for us to communicate when we are not together in person.

But one of the officers does not have a Facebook page. This makes it difficult to get in touch with her quickly, and she usually has to be filled in on whatever we spoke about online the next time we meet in person. Doing this is frustrating and time-consuming.

We obviously can't force her to do anything she doesn't want to do, but she is hurting the club by not having a Facebook page. How do we let her know this, and what should we do to solve the problem? -- Technological Challenge, Kalamazoo, Mich.

DEAR TECHNOLOGICAL CHALLENGE: Believe it or not, there are people who are averse to Facebook and other social media outlets. As you said, you cannot force this person to join. You can suggest a compromise that will likely serve your needs. If everyone is willing to get a Gmail address, you can use Google Docs to communicate in real time on one document and share your thoughts.

You might also consider Skype as a way to communicate. You can see and hear each other in real time to talk about your club's needs. A number of smartphones, in addition to your computer, allow for use of Skype. Don't give up. Get creative.

DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was younger, I'll admit it: I was pretty mean to my younger sister. Now that I am a little older, I like to think that I am much nicer to her.

Still, I feel like my sister sees me the way I used to be. For example, I have tried to give her constructive criticism and advice, but it usually ends in her yelling at me and refusing to listen. I guess I can't really blame her, but as an older sister I feel like I have some things to say that could actually help her.

How do I get my sister to believe that I am really just trying to help her and not being overly critical or cruel? -- Reformed Sibling, Ann Arbor, Mich.

DEAR REFORMED SIBLING: Have you ever sincerely apologized to your sister for the way you used to treat her? I think that's the place to start. She needs to know that you love her and respect her and want the best for her. She needs to be clear that you are aware of your bad behavior when you were younger, and that you realize it was unkind and cruel. Tell her how sorry you are for treating her badly back then.

Tell her that your intention now is to share your wisdom and support, not to criticize her unnecessarily. Ask if she will try to listen as you attempt to communicate in a more loving manner.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, I moved cross-country to New York. I tried to stay in contact with my old friends, but I pretty much lost touch with all of them.

I recently found out that one of my best friends from where I used to live is visiting New York and wants to see me. Of course I said yes, but I am nervous that it will be awkward and that we will run out of things to say in the first five minutes.

We used to be so close. How do I get things back to the way they were? -- Blast From the Past, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR BLAST FROM THE PAST: Stop beating yourself up. Take a deep breath and then accept that you have to live in the present. You cannot make things the way they were, so stop trying.

Think about what kinds of activities your friend might enjoy. Plan a schedule of fun things to do in New York that will pleasantly occupy your time. People who live in the city rarely do the touristy things, but they can be fun. Consider a visit to the Statue of Liberty, Freedom Tower and Central Park as options.

As far as topics for discussion, ask about your friend's life. People usually like to talk about themselves, so chances are good that your friend will start talking and you can be a good listener. Interject when it feels natural.

In turn, you can talk about your life, your work and what you do for fun. Just be you. There's no need to apologize for not being in touch. Stay in the present, and enjoy each other's company. It's likely you won't feel that awkward space that you anticipate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a really talented singer and who loves to perform. She is smart, funny and immensely talented. I really think she has what it takes to make it in the music business if she just tried, but she says she doesn't want to. However, I think she does; she is just too scared.

Should I push her to follow her dreams or just let her make her own choices? -- (Sort of) Stage Mom, Gallup, N.M.

DEAR STAGE MOM: Only your friend can make the decision to go for this musical dream. What you can do is introduce her to activities in your town or nearby that may expose her to professional music options. For example, if there's a local musical theater, buy tickets and take her to see a performance. If your local library or YMCA hosts music classes, you can give her a class as a gift. That may spark her interest in further pursuing her musical talents.

It is possible your friend will continue to sing only as a hobby. That's OK, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents recently met my boyfriend. They liked him well enough but thought he was too quiet. They mistook his quietness as lack of personality, even though I tried to explain that he is shy and was nervous about making a good impression. How can I get them to see what I see in him? -- Misunderstood, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: Time is the friend you need to embrace right now. Your parents may have misinterpreted your boyfriend's quietness primarily because they don't have enough information to figure out what they think about him. But what they want most is for you to be safe and happy.

Tell your parents that your boyfriend is shy, and describe what you like about him in detail. Ask them to give him a chance and to allow time for him to share more of himself with them. Schedule activities so your boyfriend can get to know your parents and vice versa. If possible, organize things to do so that you aren't just staring at one another. After a while, your boyfriend should relax, especially if your parents decide they want to get to know him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend graciously let me stay with him for a few days in his apartment. But the whole time, he was was very rude to me. He insulted me and generally acted like a jerk. I felt as though I couldn't do anything about it, because it was his apartment and he had authority. I know he was wrong to treat me the way he did, but I was worried he'd kick me out.

What should I do about this if it happens again? Next time should I speak up? -- Jerked Around, Saginaw, Mich.

DEAR JERKED AROUND: Don't allow yourself to be put in a situation where you are mistreated like that again. Do not stay with your friend in his apartment. Figure out another place to lay your head.

Call your friend on his behavior. Tell him that while his initial offer to board you was gracious, you are shocked by the way he treated you. You owe it to yourself to let him know how disconcerting it was that he treated you so rudely. Remind him of how he behaved by providing specifics, and ask why he chose to treat you that way.

It's possible he didn't realize his behavior. People are often so caught up in their own issues that they don't realize how they are treating others. That doesn't forgive the behavior, however. Reflect back to him what he did to you, and make it clear that you didn't appreciate it.