DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, I moved cross-country to New York. I tried to stay in contact with my old friends, but I pretty much lost touch with all of them.

I recently found out that one of my best friends from where I used to live is visiting New York and wants to see me. Of course I said yes, but I am nervous that it will be awkward and that we will run out of things to say in the first five minutes.

We used to be so close. How do I get things back to the way they were? -- Blast From the Past, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR BLAST FROM THE PAST: Stop beating yourself up. Take a deep breath and then accept that you have to live in the present. You cannot make things the way they were, so stop trying.

Think about what kinds of activities your friend might enjoy. Plan a schedule of fun things to do in New York that will pleasantly occupy your time. People who live in the city rarely do the touristy things, but they can be fun. Consider a visit to the Statue of Liberty, Freedom Tower and Central Park as options.

As far as topics for discussion, ask about your friend's life. People usually like to talk about themselves, so chances are good that your friend will start talking and you can be a good listener. Interject when it feels natural.

In turn, you can talk about your life, your work and what you do for fun. Just be you. There's no need to apologize for not being in touch. Stay in the present, and enjoy each other's company. It's likely you won't feel that awkward space that you anticipate.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who is a really talented singer and who loves to perform. She is smart, funny and immensely talented. I really think she has what it takes to make it in the music business if she just tried, but she says she doesn't want to. However, I think she does; she is just too scared.

Should I push her to follow her dreams or just let her make her own choices? -- (Sort of) Stage Mom, Gallup, N.M.

DEAR STAGE MOM: Only your friend can make the decision to go for this musical dream. What you can do is introduce her to activities in your town or nearby that may expose her to professional music options. For example, if there's a local musical theater, buy tickets and take her to see a performance. If your local library or YMCA hosts music classes, you can give her a class as a gift. That may spark her interest in further pursuing her musical talents.

It is possible your friend will continue to sing only as a hobby. That's OK, too.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My parents recently met my boyfriend. They liked him well enough but thought he was too quiet. They mistook his quietness as lack of personality, even though I tried to explain that he is shy and was nervous about making a good impression. How can I get them to see what I see in him? -- Misunderstood, Lake Charles, La.

DEAR MISUNDERSTOOD: Time is the friend you need to embrace right now. Your parents may have misinterpreted your boyfriend's quietness primarily because they don't have enough information to figure out what they think about him. But what they want most is for you to be safe and happy.

Tell your parents that your boyfriend is shy, and describe what you like about him in detail. Ask them to give him a chance and to allow time for him to share more of himself with them. Schedule activities so your boyfriend can get to know your parents and vice versa. If possible, organize things to do so that you aren't just staring at one another. After a while, your boyfriend should relax, especially if your parents decide they want to get to know him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend graciously let me stay with him for a few days in his apartment. But the whole time, he was was very rude to me. He insulted me and generally acted like a jerk. I felt as though I couldn't do anything about it, because it was his apartment and he had authority. I know he was wrong to treat me the way he did, but I was worried he'd kick me out.

What should I do about this if it happens again? Next time should I speak up? -- Jerked Around, Saginaw, Mich.

DEAR JERKED AROUND: Don't allow yourself to be put in a situation where you are mistreated like that again. Do not stay with your friend in his apartment. Figure out another place to lay your head.

Call your friend on his behavior. Tell him that while his initial offer to board you was gracious, you are shocked by the way he treated you. You owe it to yourself to let him know how disconcerting it was that he treated you so rudely. Remind him of how he behaved by providing specifics, and ask why he chose to treat you that way.

It's possible he didn't realize his behavior. People are often so caught up in their own issues that they don't realize how they are treating others. That doesn't forgive the behavior, however. Reflect back to him what he did to you, and make it clear that you didn't appreciate it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my best friends is gay, but our other friend still uses the word "gay" to describe things she thinks are stupid. She says our gay friend doesn't mind, but I think he does -- he would just never admit it. Should I act on my instinct and tell her she needs to stop, or should I just let it go? -- Keeping It PC, Miami

DEAR KEEPING IT PC: By all means, speak up. Words are powerful, and how we use them is important. Being insensitive to the use of a word like "gay" is actually what is stupid. (Do you see how even saying the word "stupid" is fiery? I believe in searching for uncharged words to describe feelings and thoughts.)

Talk to your friend about her choice of words and make it clear that you find her speech offensive. This is true regardless of whether she is in the company of your gay friend, by the way. It's important to acknowledge that wherever you are and no matter the company, using language in a charged way like that is unwise because it continues a narrative of insensitivity that is unkind.

Your gay friend may or may not mind. But that isn't even the point. What's key here is for your friend to recognize that words have the ability to empower or hurt. Choosing empowerment is the way to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a silly and potentially costly mistake. I received an email from a friend suggesting that I look into a way to earn money from home. The link looked like a site from a television station, with articles and testimonials from a variety of people who said they earned money in this way. I found it intriguing. I did try to reach my friend to see if he had tried it, but I didn't hear back from him. (Later, he said his email was hacked.)

I got lured into the promise of earning extra money and signed up for it. Of course it required a small fee, which I paid. And then nothing. I didn't ever get to the place where I would earn all this money.

Now I'm worried that my credit card may be compromised. What can I do? -- Hoodwinked, Los Angeles

DEAR HOODWINKED: Usually, if something seems too good to be true, it is. I'm sorry this happened to you, but all may not be lost.

Contact your credit card company and tell them that you believe the charge was fraudulent. Explain what happened and ask if they can stop payment and/or place an alert that the company you paid practices fraud. Credit card companies have departments set up to help customers with such things, so there's a good chance you will be reimbursed and your account can be protected from that company charging you again.