DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got invited to my neighbor's high school graduation party. I do not really know her that well, and I have never been to a graduation party before as an adult. Should I bring a gift for her or the family? If so, what should I bring? -- Clueless, Seattle

DEAR CLUELESS: It's lovely that you get to celebrate this rite of passage with your neighbors. And, yes, it is appropriate for you to bring a gift for the graduate.

Inspiring the graduate to think outside the box is a great gift. So ask yourself what might be an unusual gift that a young person could appreciate now or in the future.

Often high school graduates are headed away for college. A lovely gift could be a gift certificate to a popular restaurant you think the graduate would enjoy, either in your city or near the new campus, in an amount large enough for a few people to attend. You could create the party after the party!

Practical items for college that you may want to consider are gift certificates for the college bookstore, a gift certificate to buy items for the dorm, or even a gift certificate at a favorite clothing store to buy clothes for college.

Financial gifts are always welcome. Think of gifts that could have long-term impact, such as a safe U.S. Treasury bond or a few shares of stock in a promising company.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just finished school for the year, and I now have the whole summer off. This is the first time in as long as I can remember that I have no job, internship or trip planned. With nothing on my schedule, I am afraid that I will just end up watching TV and wasting these next few months. What are a few things I can do to stay busy? -- Bored, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR BORED: You are wise to be thinking about this, because it is true that time can slip by if you aren't paying attention.

I'm a big believer in dreaming big and writing down a plan to make those dreams come true. Take a moment to imagine what you might be able to do this summer. What interests you? What about your community inspires you? If these questions spark ideas, write them down and do your best to figure out how to make them become reality.

Service is always a compelling way to spend your time. You may want to volunteer to help at an assisted living facility where older people live. Often they don't have a lot of visitors and may be lonely. A visit from a young person could bring sunshine. Same goes for your local hospital. You could ask about visiting the children's ward and spending time reading to the patients or playing with them.

If you have a friend or neighbor who has a job that appeals to you, ask to shadow the person at his or her workplace for a day or even a week. In other words, create a mini-internship for yourself.

You may be able to resist the TV by going to the library and exploring books that are of interest to you. Challenge yourself to read 10 books before summer is over. Consider creating a book club with other friends who may also be bored.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just graduated from college and moved to Manhattan. I love the city, but it is so expensive! How can I minimize costs yet still have a good time? -- Hobo Chic, New York

DEAR HOBO CHIC: The great news about Manhattan is that you can find almost everything -- except housing -- at just about any price. There are many free activities, including museums, films, street fairs and art openings. You can find these activities by reading The New York Times, New York Magazine, The New Yorker, amNewYork, Time Out New York and their accompanying websites. You can also Google "free activities in Manhattan" and go on a search.

In addition, you can look for affordable restaurants in Manhattan and the rest of the boroughs. I have lived in New York for many years, and I have always been amazed by the range of healthy, diverse cuisines that are offered in the city at every price point.

Finally, you can find very affordable fashion. Watch for special sales at department stores. Visit discount stores such as Forever 21, Loehmann's and T.J. Maxx, as well as consignment shops and vintage stores. New York has absolutely everything. You can fully enjoy yourself for little to no cost.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For almost all my life, I spent my summers at a sleep-away camp. I loved the camp and made amazing friends. I was invited to be a counselor there this summer. A lot of my friends are going back to be counselors for the first time as well. While I would love to spend another summer with my friends, there is one catch: I don't really like working with kids. I want to accept the job, but I am afraid that if I do, I will end up shirking my responsibilities to hang out with my friends. Should I take the job? -- All Play and No Work

DEAR ALL PLAY AND NO WORK: The good news is that you know yourself. If you truly believe you would be unable or uninterested in paying attention to the children, you should not take the job.

But before you back away, I want to challenge you to change your thinking. In life, you will encounter many situations in which you are not able to do exactly what you want. This is especially true of work.

So think about your options for this summer job with fresh eyes. Rather than deciding that you don't like working with children, think about your time at the camp and how grateful you are for what you experienced. Envision how you can support that type of environment for those campers coming after you. Be grateful that you can also enjoy your friends' company throughout the day. It could be a win-win if you approach it the right way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently accepted into the college that was my top choice. My cousin, who is a year older than me, applied there last year and did not get in. She really wanted to go, and I know she probably is upset that I got in and she didn't.

I am definitely going to this school, but I don't want my cousin to feel bad or feel like she is not as smart as me. What should I say to her? -- Family Matters, Salt Lake City

DEAR FAMILY MATTERS: Your cousin may have hurt feelings that actually don't have anything to do with you. She may still be upset that she didn't get into the school of her dreams. Because you are her family and close to her, it may feel to her as if her nose is being rubbed in it. It's important to remember that this is not what you are doing.

I suggest that you speak to her. Tell her your good news and acknowledge that you are excited about going to this college. Let her know that you remain so sorry that she was not invited to attend.

Don't go into the reasons why she may not have been accepted. Colleges take many factors into consideration when they admit students, and being smart is only part of it.

Encourage your cousin to do her best at whatever college she is attending. And stay in touch when you go to school. If she ever wants to visit, invite her to come to the campus.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school teacher, but I look young enough to be a student. I think that because of this, lots of students treat me like I am their friend, not their teacher.

I like to think that I am a progressive teacher, and I love my students and want them to feel comfortable with me. But I also want them to respect me and remember that there are boundaries between us as students and teachers that are not the same as between friends. How do I tell my students this? -- Looking Young, Seattle

DEAR LOOKING YOUNG: It is possible for you to have a congenial relationship with your students that remains professional.

Regarding your appearance, you may want to change your style of dress. Instead of wearing casual clothing (if you do), wear professional attire. That will make you look more mature and will say to the students that you mean business. I advocate for all teachers to dress professionally no matter what their age, because it shows students a style of dressing that they can emulate as they grow up.

Regarding your behavior, you must teach your students to respect you and the boundaries you have created. That means acknowledging them when they behave appropriately and making them suffer consequences when they don't. Constantly let them know what the boundaries are and how they should talk to you and one another. Over time, if you enforce your rules, they will follow.