DEAR HARRIETTE: I just graduated from college and moved to Manhattan. I love the city, but it is so expensive! How can I minimize costs yet still have a good time? -- Hobo Chic, New York

DEAR HOBO CHIC: The great news about Manhattan is that you can find almost everything -- except housing -- at just about any price. There are many free activities, including museums, films, street fairs and art openings. You can find these activities by reading The New York Times, New York Magazine, The New Yorker, amNewYork, Time Out New York and their accompanying websites. You can also Google "free activities in Manhattan" and go on a search.

In addition, you can look for affordable restaurants in Manhattan and the rest of the boroughs. I have lived in New York for many years, and I have always been amazed by the range of healthy, diverse cuisines that are offered in the city at every price point.

Finally, you can find very affordable fashion. Watch for special sales at department stores. Visit discount stores such as Forever 21, Loehmann's and T.J. Maxx, as well as consignment shops and vintage stores. New York has absolutely everything. You can fully enjoy yourself for little to no cost.

DEAR HARRIETTE: For almost all my life, I spent my summers at a sleep-away camp. I loved the camp and made amazing friends. I was invited to be a counselor there this summer. A lot of my friends are going back to be counselors for the first time as well. While I would love to spend another summer with my friends, there is one catch: I don't really like working with kids. I want to accept the job, but I am afraid that if I do, I will end up shirking my responsibilities to hang out with my friends. Should I take the job? -- All Play and No Work

DEAR ALL PLAY AND NO WORK: The good news is that you know yourself. If you truly believe you would be unable or uninterested in paying attention to the children, you should not take the job.

But before you back away, I want to challenge you to change your thinking. In life, you will encounter many situations in which you are not able to do exactly what you want. This is especially true of work.

So think about your options for this summer job with fresh eyes. Rather than deciding that you don't like working with children, think about your time at the camp and how grateful you are for what you experienced. Envision how you can support that type of environment for those campers coming after you. Be grateful that you can also enjoy your friends' company throughout the day. It could be a win-win if you approach it the right way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was recently accepted into the college that was my top choice. My cousin, who is a year older than me, applied there last year and did not get in. She really wanted to go, and I know she probably is upset that I got in and she didn't.

I am definitely going to this school, but I don't want my cousin to feel bad or feel like she is not as smart as me. What should I say to her? -- Family Matters, Salt Lake City

DEAR FAMILY MATTERS: Your cousin may have hurt feelings that actually don't have anything to do with you. She may still be upset that she didn't get into the school of her dreams. Because you are her family and close to her, it may feel to her as if her nose is being rubbed in it. It's important to remember that this is not what you are doing.

I suggest that you speak to her. Tell her your good news and acknowledge that you are excited about going to this college. Let her know that you remain so sorry that she was not invited to attend.

Don't go into the reasons why she may not have been accepted. Colleges take many factors into consideration when they admit students, and being smart is only part of it.

Encourage your cousin to do her best at whatever college she is attending. And stay in touch when you go to school. If she ever wants to visit, invite her to come to the campus.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a high school teacher, but I look young enough to be a student. I think that because of this, lots of students treat me like I am their friend, not their teacher.

I like to think that I am a progressive teacher, and I love my students and want them to feel comfortable with me. But I also want them to respect me and remember that there are boundaries between us as students and teachers that are not the same as between friends. How do I tell my students this? -- Looking Young, Seattle

DEAR LOOKING YOUNG: It is possible for you to have a congenial relationship with your students that remains professional.

Regarding your appearance, you may want to change your style of dress. Instead of wearing casual clothing (if you do), wear professional attire. That will make you look more mature and will say to the students that you mean business. I advocate for all teachers to dress professionally no matter what their age, because it shows students a style of dressing that they can emulate as they grow up.

Regarding your behavior, you must teach your students to respect you and the boundaries you have created. That means acknowledging them when they behave appropriately and making them suffer consequences when they don't. Constantly let them know what the boundaries are and how they should talk to you and one another. Over time, if you enforce your rules, they will follow.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I recently got into a fight. She told me I talk about myself too much, but no one else has ever told me that. I thought I had always been a good friend.

How should I handle this situation? Should I try and talk to her or just let it go? -- Talked Out, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR TALKED OUT: You should address this with her, but before you do, take a step back and review your relationship. What is your friend's personality like? Is she a talker? Does she have a lot of issues she likes to talk about? Or is she somewhat shy? Is it hard for her to bring up topics that are on her mind?

The answers to those questions may help you. People who like to talk a lot often feel uncomfortable if the other person in a conversation is also talkative. It can feel like a competition for airtime, even if that's not intentional. If she is not one to speak up, she may find it difficult to get her points out in a conversation because it is hard for her to fill the silent spaces as she thinks about the topic or drums up the courage to make a point. It may be hard for you to notice her timing needs.

It also could be that in a particular conversation you may have talked a lot more than usual without realizing it.

Evaluate your interactions with your friend. Apologize for possibly talking too much and tell her what you think about the matter. Ask her to share why she feels this way. Do your best to listen. Ultimately, tell her your perspective and ask her to talk it out with you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: An acquaintance and I really hit it off recently. He seemed very flirtatious toward me. But I found out he is in a relationship. Even my friends think there's something fishy about this. How can I address the situation without being awkward or rude? -- Confused, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR CONFUSED: Next time you see your acquaintance, call him out on his behavior. Tell him that you have enjoyed flirting with him and that you think he's fun. Listen for his response.

Tell him you were surprised to learn he has a girlfriend. Ask him if it's true and what he's looking for from you. Tell him that although you like him very much, you aren't interested in breaking up a couple or flirting with someone who is in a committed relationship. Make it clear that if he is in a relationship, you would prefer that he not flirt with you. That's not your style.