DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in an exotic location, even though it's simply where I'm from and where I live. I went to school in the U.S., and many of my friends from school like to come and visit me. When they come, they expect me to host them for their entire vacation. It's almost like they think my home is their hotel.

Don't get me wrong. I want to see my friends, but I am not a travel agent or a bed-and-breakfast. I can't really afford to host them the way they expect, and I also have to work. I can't be off the whole time they are at my house. But they don't seem to understand this, and they get mad at me. What should I say to them? -- Not a Hotel, St. Thomas, Virgin Islands

DEAR NOT A HOTEL: It's time to speak plainly to your friends. Tell them how much you love them and appreciate them coming to visit, but state plainly that you are not a hotel. Tell them you hope they will continue to come to visit but that you need them to understand your parameters. Then lay them out.

Establish a length for visits. Describe how you hope the meals will go -- with everyone pitching in so that you don't become the sole cook or provider of meals. Talk about what you have to do while they are in town, especially if you have to work. Remind them that they are coming for vacation, but this is where you live and work. Be clear with them. You may find out that some of them may choose to stay in a hotel and visit with you rather than crashing at your place the whole time, especially if you make it clear that they cannot have free run of your house, refrigerator and time.

You don't have to feel bad about this. Remember: Your home is not a hotel, and you are not an innkeeper. You are a friend, and a good friend at that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a misunderstanding with my next-door neighbor, who has been a dear friend for many years. I hosted an event for my colleagues at my home and did not invite her. She thought I was having a party for friends and got her feelings hurt.

When I reached out to her to talk the next day, I learned she was upset. I was really surprised, because as much as we like each other, neither of us invites the other to every event we have.

I don't think she should have been invited to this event, but I feel bad that she's upset. How can I help her to feel better? -- Next-Door Neighbor, Memphis, Tenn.

DEAR NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR: Invite your neighbor over for tea and chat with her about the event. Tell her that you hosted a gathering of colleagues and tell her a little bit about the event. Then tell her that you think she's upset because she wasn't invited. Remind her that both of you host events for different groups. Sometimes it's right to be included, sometimes not. Assure her that you love her just as much. The end.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just read the letter from "Proud Mom," who didn't see the big deal in posting pictures online of her son's class performance.

There is an even bigger and more pressing reason to not post online pictures of kids who are not yours. Unfortunately, we live in a time that is not all roses and sunshine for some families. Many are dealing with orders of protection because of concerns about domestic abuse or fears of kidnapping by noncustodial parents. Often, these families have moved or changed schools to avoid detection. The information posted by "Proud Mom" could possibly lead to all kinds of major problems for families in these situations.

I agree with your advice: Never post pictures of kids other than your own. Unless you live there, you don't know what is going on in the house next door. -- Cautious, Chicago

DEAR CAUTIOUS: You bring even more justification to the privacy requirements regarding the publication of children's photos, including on social media.

By the way, you shouldn't post pictures of adults without their permission, either -- not only for the reasons you just mentioned, but also simply to preserve their privacy.

Just because you want to be a public figure does not mean that your friends, acquaintances or co-workers share your sentiment. Ask before uploading and posting their likeness on social media.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mother-in-law is coming to visit, and I'm going crazy. My house is a mess, and I don't have time to clean it to her satisfaction. The last time she visited, about five years ago, all she did the whole time was complain about my poor homemaking skills.

I agree that I should be neater. I will put forth a big effort to make her comfortable, but I don't want to be chastised. What can I do? -- In a Tizzy, Shreveport, La.

DEAR IN A TIZZY: Make a schedule for cleaning up as much as you can from now until your mother-in-law arrives. Ask your husband to help. Remind him of her last visit. Tell him you need his support to survive her next one.

Be sure to make the area where she will sleep neat and clean. Same goes for the kitchen and common areas. If you have a trusted friend who is good at cleaning, perhaps you could ask that person to come over and help.

The preparatory work that you will do for your mother-in-law is actually great for you, too. The neater you can make your home, the more comfortable you and your husband will be in your space. If you commit to putting things away when you use them and discarding things when you no longer need them, you should be able to stay on top of any mess. You may also want to spend one day a week doing a big cleanse if you are facing significant clutter.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends' child died a year ago from SIDS. It was so sad, and I know it has been tough for them to recover. But they don't talk about it.

I just realized the anniversary of their child's death is approaching, and I'm wondering if I should say anything. I love these people so much and want them to have all the happiness in the world. I wonder if bringing it up would make them uncomfortable. But I also don't want to be insensitive by not saying anything. What do you think is appropriate? -- Eggshells, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR EGGSHELLS: It's lovely that you remembered this child's death. It shows that you are a good and conscientious friend.

I don't think you should call your friends to say something about the anniversary. You may want to send them a lovely card that says you are thinking of them on this special day. Write that you love them and are holding them in your prayers. In this way they receive your good wishes, but they do not need to respond unless they feel comfortable doing so.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been going through a rough spell. The other day, we learned that two young friends had just gotten engaged. Instead of congratulating them, my husband went on a tear, telling them how marriage leaves a lot to be desired. He went on and on, and it got uncomfortable. I tried to change the subject, but that just got him more revved up.

I feel so bad. I think I should say something to the couple, but I don't want to reveal too much about our marriage. We are close to these people, so we will see them again. -- Embarrassed, Cincinnati

DEAR EMBARRASSED: Guess what? Your friends already know there's trouble in your paradise. Your husband has revealed it.

You have choices for moving forward with this couple. First, you can let it be. You four shared an awkward moment that can simply pass.

Second, you can reach out to the couple and share some of your personal insights about marriage. Without revealing too many personal details, share with them that marriage has many twists and turns. This includes, for most couples, periods when the relationship seems brittle. If you have suggestions on how you and your husband navigate tough times, be sure to share them.

By all means, wish them the very best in their lives. I would suggest they get premarital counseling, where they can talk about and explore their values and goals. They also can ask about strategies for fair fighting. You and your husband also may want to get some counseling to see if you can mend your fence.