DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who constantly borrows things from me without asking. If he's at my house, he will use my stereo or my Xbox without asking. I find it very rude, but I don't want to sound mean. What should I do? --It's My Stuff, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR IT'S MY STUFF: I don't exactly consider (BEGIN ITALS)using(END ITALS) your stereo or Xbox the same as (BEGIN ITALS)borrowing(END ITALS) them. Your friend probably has no idea that you consider it a violation for him to use your electronics when he is at your house. I bet he thinks you are a great host to even have them so that he can enjoy himself.

If it truly irks you that he uses your electronics -- or anything else at your home -- without first asking, you can either put them away or tell him they are off-limits for now. You could also tell him he has to ask you first before using them, but since you have not told him that before, he may become confused as to why it's an issue now.

If he hogs your electronics so that you cannot enjoy them with him, that's another issue. If that is the case, you can tell him after a period of time that it's your turn.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have had feelings for this guy, "Frank," for a long time. He and I have had a history of flirting and having feelings for each other.

He recently got a girlfriend, and he still continues to flirt with me. It makes me uncomfortable, but he claims that it is not wrong to flirt with other people while in a relationship. I think it is wrong and don't reciprocate. I feel guilty, though, because he still flirts. What should I do? -- Flirted Out, Shreveport, La.

DEAR FLIRTED OUT: If you still have feelings for Frank, that could be why you feel guilty. If your feelings are unresolved, it may even hurt your feelings that he now has a girlfriend. Whatever the case may be, you are not able to control Frank's actions.

He has told you that basically he can have his cake and eat it, too. He can actually accomplish that only if you respond in a positive way to his flirtation. So continue to ignore his overtures as you have been.

If you feel the need to say anything to him because he continues to flirt with you, tell him that he made his choice. You can tell him that you had thought the two of you might explore your feelings for each other, but now that he has decided to choose someone else to be his girlfriend, all bets are off with you.

I'm sorry he didn't make the choice that you seem to have wanted, but now is your time to accept the facts and move on. Continuing to flirt with this man will only prolong your bruised feelings.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and we have a pretty big age difference. She is days away from being 16, and I am 19. Everything is legal -- I've checked -- but I still worry that somehow it is fundamentally wrong for me to be dating her and that it could be a negative thing.

I really care about her, and I am her closest friend at this point. I know I am better for her than some other guy who probably wouldn't try to help her with her problems as much, but I'm still worried that the age difference is too much and that we are in different places in our lives. What can I do? -- Older Guy, Shreveport, La.

DEAR OLDER GUY: Here's where you get to be the adult. Theoretically, there's nothing wrong with two people who are three years apart liking each other. The legal challenge is that until she becomes 17 in your state of Louisiana, you are not legally allowed to engage in sexual activity with her. If you do, it is considered statutory rape and you could go to prison for up to 10 years.

If you are able to wait, you may have no issue. It's smart anyway for you to develop a strong friendship with this young lady. In that way, you will truly learn if you two are compatible.

Anyone else in this situation should know that the legal definitions for statutory rape vary by state. For information on the laws in your state: www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need some help teaching my daughter the value of money. I have a 14-year-old who thinks money grows on trees.

Three weeks ago, my daughter asked me for a pair of jeans that cost over $200. And she had the nerve to ask me for a $180 pair of sneakers. When I told her that I would not be able to buy the high-priced jeans and sneakers that she requested, she became angry at me and stormed off into the living room. I have to be careful with my money because I have two additional children to attend to as well. My daughter does not understand. Please help. -- Budget-Conscious Mom, Chicago

DEAR BUDGET-CONSCIOUS MOM: It's time for your daughter to work. Give her chores at home that are in addition to her normal jobs and pay her to do them, even if you can afford to give her just a nominal amount. Over time, she will learn to value those dollars.

She also may be able to find odd jobs in your neighborhood. If she is responsible enough, she may want to baby-sit.

Help her learn to save some of her money each time she gets paid. Tell her that when she has earned enough money, she can buy either the jeans or sneakers, provided she keeps some money in her savings account. Her eyes will open fast to the value of money when she starts spending her own.

It may be helpful to give your daughter some perspective on how much things cost. If you share with her that the jeans she wants cost as much as, say, a week's rent or gas money for a month, she may rethink her request.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read the article about scrubs being worn outside of the hospital and had to clarify a few things.

For the most part, scrubs that are worn in environments where they can become contaminated, such as an operating room, are not allowed out of the department. These scrubs are provided by the facility, and they are changed into upon arrival and out of upon departure.

When workers are not in a contagion environment, they wear their own scrubs to work, and therefore may be seen coming and going in scrubs. They may also dine out or run errands in scrubs.

I am not a health-care worker, but I am a representative of a worldwide surgical supply company. I am often running from one facility to the next every day to cover surgical cases. It is wonderful that our company allows us on a busy day to don scrubs rather than business attire if we wish. I don't do this frequently, but I know many reps who wear scrubs every day.

They are comfortable and easy. They are clean, and we change into facility-owned scrubs when we enter the operating room. We also wear a hat and shoe covers. When we leave the facility, we change back into our own scrubs and take off our shoe covers and hats.

My point is that "Curious" is most likely seeing people wearing their own clean scrubs. As far as wearing them to a formal event, this is no different from someone wearing sweats to a formal event. It's not the most professional judgment call, but most likely the scrubs are not contaminated. -- Scrubs Fan, Chicago

DEAR SCRUBS FAN: Thank you for your letter. Many people wrote in to share similar sentiments. I will add that ever since I got that letter, I have noticed many people wearing scrubs as fashion.

This trend reminds me of another odd fashion choice of late -- namely, wearing pajamas as street wear, all the way down to the slippers. To each his own?

DEAR HARRIETTE: After 20 years, I have recently rekindled a love I didn't know was even still there. I recently found and started speaking to an ex-boyfriend over Facebook. We had been talking on and off once in awhile, and then recently in discussion, we realized we both still felt strongly for each other.

I'm happy about that, but the only issue is that he is in the process of going through a really bad divorce. I partially feel that I am either becoming the rebound woman, or the woman who has somehow fueled him to not want to rekindle his relationship. Should I continue forward with my feelings, or should I give him and his relationship space to clear up? -- Boundaries, Miami

DEAR BOUNDARIES: Tell him you care about him and don't want to be in the middle of his divorce. Suggest that you step back until he handles his business. Then do so. If you two are meant to be together, a pause of whatever length should not be too long.