DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year, and we have a pretty big age difference. She is days away from being 16, and I am 19. Everything is legal -- I've checked -- but I still worry that somehow it is fundamentally wrong for me to be dating her and that it could be a negative thing.

I really care about her, and I am her closest friend at this point. I know I am better for her than some other guy who probably wouldn't try to help her with her problems as much, but I'm still worried that the age difference is too much and that we are in different places in our lives. What can I do? -- Older Guy, Shreveport, La.

DEAR OLDER GUY: Here's where you get to be the adult. Theoretically, there's nothing wrong with two people who are three years apart liking each other. The legal challenge is that until she becomes 17 in your state of Louisiana, you are not legally allowed to engage in sexual activity with her. If you do, it is considered statutory rape and you could go to prison for up to 10 years.

If you are able to wait, you may have no issue. It's smart anyway for you to develop a strong friendship with this young lady. In that way, you will truly learn if you two are compatible.

Anyone else in this situation should know that the legal definitions for statutory rape vary by state. For information on the laws in your state: www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-r-0376.htm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I need some help teaching my daughter the value of money. I have a 14-year-old who thinks money grows on trees.

Three weeks ago, my daughter asked me for a pair of jeans that cost over $200. And she had the nerve to ask me for a $180 pair of sneakers. When I told her that I would not be able to buy the high-priced jeans and sneakers that she requested, she became angry at me and stormed off into the living room. I have to be careful with my money because I have two additional children to attend to as well. My daughter does not understand. Please help. -- Budget-Conscious Mom, Chicago

DEAR BUDGET-CONSCIOUS MOM: It's time for your daughter to work. Give her chores at home that are in addition to her normal jobs and pay her to do them, even if you can afford to give her just a nominal amount. Over time, she will learn to value those dollars.

She also may be able to find odd jobs in your neighborhood. If she is responsible enough, she may want to baby-sit.

Help her learn to save some of her money each time she gets paid. Tell her that when she has earned enough money, she can buy either the jeans or sneakers, provided she keeps some money in her savings account. Her eyes will open fast to the value of money when she starts spending her own.

It may be helpful to give your daughter some perspective on how much things cost. If you share with her that the jeans she wants cost as much as, say, a week's rent or gas money for a month, she may rethink her request.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I read the article about scrubs being worn outside of the hospital and had to clarify a few things.

For the most part, scrubs that are worn in environments where they can become contaminated, such as an operating room, are not allowed out of the department. These scrubs are provided by the facility, and they are changed into upon arrival and out of upon departure.

When workers are not in a contagion environment, they wear their own scrubs to work, and therefore may be seen coming and going in scrubs. They may also dine out or run errands in scrubs.

I am not a health-care worker, but I am a representative of a worldwide surgical supply company. I am often running from one facility to the next every day to cover surgical cases. It is wonderful that our company allows us on a busy day to don scrubs rather than business attire if we wish. I don't do this frequently, but I know many reps who wear scrubs every day.

They are comfortable and easy. They are clean, and we change into facility-owned scrubs when we enter the operating room. We also wear a hat and shoe covers. When we leave the facility, we change back into our own scrubs and take off our shoe covers and hats.

My point is that "Curious" is most likely seeing people wearing their own clean scrubs. As far as wearing them to a formal event, this is no different from someone wearing sweats to a formal event. It's not the most professional judgment call, but most likely the scrubs are not contaminated. -- Scrubs Fan, Chicago

DEAR SCRUBS FAN: Thank you for your letter. Many people wrote in to share similar sentiments. I will add that ever since I got that letter, I have noticed many people wearing scrubs as fashion.

This trend reminds me of another odd fashion choice of late -- namely, wearing pajamas as street wear, all the way down to the slippers. To each his own?

DEAR HARRIETTE: After 20 years, I have recently rekindled a love I didn't know was even still there. I recently found and started speaking to an ex-boyfriend over Facebook. We had been talking on and off once in awhile, and then recently in discussion, we realized we both still felt strongly for each other.

I'm happy about that, but the only issue is that he is in the process of going through a really bad divorce. I partially feel that I am either becoming the rebound woman, or the woman who has somehow fueled him to not want to rekindle his relationship. Should I continue forward with my feelings, or should I give him and his relationship space to clear up? -- Boundaries, Miami

DEAR BOUNDARIES: Tell him you care about him and don't want to be in the middle of his divorce. Suggest that you step back until he handles his business. Then do so. If you two are meant to be together, a pause of whatever length should not be too long.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a baby sitter/nanny for several families. The kids are all young and at the age when, from years of experience, I've noticed they develop manners and learn from others. However, it can be difficult to enforce any manners or teach them how to behave, because they are not my kids. I do not know if it is my place to say anything, especially when I am watching the kids and the parents are present.

On the job, I have had a parent get upset with me for telling a child to apologize for hitting his sister. These parents do not often discipline their children, which can make my job a lot more difficult. Other families tend to encourage manners and good behavior, but I still do not know the boundaries of what I can tell the children. Where can I step in, and where is the line drawn? -- Good-Mannered Nanny, Staten Island, N.Y.

DEAR NANNY: It is the job of baby sitters and nannies to ensure that children are safe and healthy while in their care, and that naturally means offering some amount of discipline.

Yes, it can get tricky when you are in the company of a parent and the child acts up. In the case where a parent got upset when you corrected a child, I bet the parent was embarrassed that you handled it instead of him or her.

I have a few recommendations. First, do what you normally do: Take care of the child. You could also say, within the parent's earshot, "Ask your mommy (or daddy) if what you did is appropriate." That way, you include the parent in the course of disciplining the child.

Another step you could take is to talk to the parent about discipline strategies. Suggest that when you are unsure how to handle a situation, you will check in with the parent to see where he or she stands on the issue.

If you find that you and the parents cannot have a meeting of the minds, you are probably not well suited to take care of those children.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Per a recent letter from a woman whose boyfriend never lets her pay when they go out: Each person paying his or her own way does not sound like a date to me. I would be curious who makes the arrangements for the dates.

If "Equal Opportunity Girlfriend" wishes to pay for something, maybe she could take him out sometimes, and he could take her sometimes. In setting up the date, she should contact him and state that it is her date and she will pay for it. -- Practical, Chicago

DEAR PRACTICAL: I like your idea. I also like the idea of devising dates that are free or inexpensive. If couples get creative and explore their hometown, take walks or go on other expeditions, they can have fun without squabbling over the bill.