DEAR HARRIETTE: I borrowed money from my next-door neighbor a few months ago, and I'm supposed to pay it back right now. The thing is, I don't have it. I have been out of work for about eight months, and the little odd jobs I have gotten haven't paid enough for me to pay any bills, let alone reimburse him. But still, it's my neighbor. I can't hide out from him.

What can I do? I can't pay him back yet. -- Embarrassed, Jackson, Miss.

DEAR EMBARRASSED: You must speak to your neighbor immediately. Tell him what your situation is, and reassure him that you are doing your best to be able to pay him back. If you have even a small amount of money that you can give him as a good-faith effort, do so. Even if it's a nominal amount, by offering it you show your neighbor that you mean well.

Meanwhile, keep your head up and actively look for work. It can be so difficult to continue the search when you feel ashamed or deflated. Do your best to shed that cloak, as it will only disable you. Refresh your resume and look some more. Meanwhile, continue to perform odd jobs to put money in your pocket.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 40-year-old single man, 6 feet 5 inches tall. Here's my dilemma: A few of my female friends have asked if I would be willing to sire a child for them. At first I was flattered by the notion of participating in making a child, but as I asked further questions, the women responded that they wanted me to participate only in producing the child, not being a part of the child's life after birth.

This has happened with 10 women over the past few years. I have a motto I live by: Marriage before carriage. I have said "no" on numerous occasions. Am I wrong? I do want to have a child, but not like this. -- Feeling Used, Queens, N.Y.

DEAR FEELING USED: Please don't lower your standards. I think it's admirable that you want to be in a committed relationship before bringing a child into the world.

These women are essentially asking for a sperm donor. It may be flattering to know that so many people think you have good genes -- good enough to belong to their children. But if I were you, I would be offended that they don't feel good enough about you to want you as part of the package. You clearly want to create a family. Keep your eyes open and look for a partner who shares your values.

I would also recommend that you do a serious self-evaluation. Why might none of these 10 women want to be with you? There may be some aspect of your personality, your lifestyle or your current circumstances that is a turnoff to these female friends.

It's worth contemplating. If there's something you need to improve about yourself to become a more attractive partner to the right woman, go for it. But I don't think you should be fishing from this current pool of 10.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I posted photos of my son's class performance on Facebook and was so proud of them. That is, until one mom called me and chastised me for posting a picture that included her child without her permission. She asked me to take the picture down at once. I did, but I don't see what the big deal is. Do you? -- Proud Mom, Chicago

DEAR PROUD MOM: In this Internet age, it can be tricky figuring out where your rights begin and end. But that mom was right: Children's rights are protected under the law.

The Children's Online Privacy Protection Act states that any identifiable information about a child under age 13 that is posted on the Internet must be posted by the parent or by a person who has obtained VERIFIABLE CONSENT from the parent. Website operators are held legally accountable for verifying that publications made by anyone other than the legal parent or guardian have the consent of the parent.

That said, countless people post images of their children and others without issue. My recommendation for the future is to do your best to photograph your child separately so that you can post safely. Otherwise, ask parents for permission (in writing) before you put any images on the Internet.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my daughter and I have ongoing arguments every morning because she drags her feet when it's time to go to school. I'm so frustrated. I'm trying to teach her the importance of being on time and of accepting responsibility for herself. She is 7 years old, and I think that's old enough to begin to accept some basic responsibilities. But the arguments are wearing us out. Any suggestions on how to handle this better? -- Frustrated, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Do I have a suggestion for you! My daughter (who is 8) and I have wrestled with time-management issues, and recently we came up with a plan together that has helped tremendously. We created a chart for the five days of the school week and listed each task she has to complete before walking out of the door at 8 a.m. She helped to make the list and even suggested what she might be able to do at night to buy her time the next morning.

As a result, she is excited when she gets up about filling out her chart. She competes with herself to be ready on time as well. Best of all, the arguments have subsided dramatically.

We have begun to institute rewards for her good behavior that include singing together in the morning on the way to school, bringing an extra treat in her lunch bag and special activities on the weekend.

You may want to try our process, or something else may work for you. The point is to include your daughter in coming up with a schedule that she can follow with your support, but without having to police her at every turn. Children of all ages benefit from structure, focus and clear-cut boundaries.

DEAR READERS: Awhile back, a reader wrote in who had been experiencing hard times for several years. She had fallen way behind in her taxes and bills and had basically been in hiding. I advised her to reach out to the IRS and an accountant to begin making amends.

Well, I received a call from Michael Devine, the IRS spokesman for Illinois, Kansas and Missouri. He wanted to share additional information that may be helpful for that reader and many others.

Mr. Devine explained that the IRS is absolutely eager to work with people and has set up many ways to help taxpayers resolve their issues. To that end, the IRS has a website (www.irs.gov) that offers a wealth of information to guide you in finding answers to your specific questions. A special toll-free phone number is available from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. weekdays at 800-829-1040 (or 800-829-4059 for the hearing-impaired).

If you want to speak to someone in person who can help walk you through the process, you may do so at one of the Taxpayer Assistance Centers all over the country. To find the one nearest you, click on the "Individuals" tab, then click on the link to "Contact My Local Office" (www.irs.gov/localcontacts/index.html). Or call the IRS at the number above.

I must say, I learned a lot from speaking with Mr. Devine. One of the biggest topics I addressed with him is the general fear people have of communicating with the IRS, especially when they are having financial difficulty. That is why I had recommended that the woman in financial distress first go to an accountant. He assured me that while a tax professional can be a fantastic option, a person in financial straits may not be able to afford that route. He explained that the professionals on the IRS staff at these assistance centers offer their services free of charge.

You also can subscribe to tax tips from the IRS by logging onto public.govdelivery.com/accounts/USIRS/subscriber/new. I think this is information worth sharing.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been working with a therapist for several years, and I think it's time for our relationship to end. She has been very helpful to me, but I think we are ebbing now. I realize that it's tough to end this. It feels incredibly awkward. What should I do? I don't want to simply never come back again. -- Breaking Up Blues, Los Angeles

DEAR BREAKING UP BLUES: One of the most difficult relationships to end is with a therapist. I believe it is important to handle all endings with grace. If you can, speak to your therapist directly, either in your next session or over the phone, and tell her you are ready to end your relationship. Thank her for the years of help she has provided. Be firm and grateful. You can also write a thank-you note expressing your gratitude and saying that you think your work together is complete. Fill that appointment time with a useful activity so you don't feel a hole in your schedule.