life

Walking in the Snow

The Postscript by by Carrie Classon
by Carrie Classon
The Postscript | January 30th, 2023

It was snowing hard, the way it almost never does anymore, and I decided I needed to go for my walk, heedless of the weather.

"I probably won't be gone long!" I texted a friend in California as I headed out the door looking like an Arctic explorer. The snow was coming down fast and sideways. Many businesses were closed, and the streetlights had eerily popped on at midday.

Once outside, I wondered if this was such a good idea.

It was impossible to keep the snow out of my eyes. I pulled my fur-trimmed cap down so it nearly hid my eyes. I pulled my face mask up over my nose and navigated through a narrow strip of vision with a fringe of fur on top.

It was a lot of work. Between 4 to 5 inches of snow had already fallen and only a few people had traversed the sidewalk ahead of me. I found myself tripping and slipping in their tracks.

"I'm going to walk to the next cross street and turn around," I promised myself. "A short walk is better than no walk at all!

I kept trudging.

But a funny thing happened on the next block. The last of the footprints disappeared, and I was walking through untouched, fresh snow. Once I was no longer stumbling in the footsteps of previous pedestrians, the walk became easier. The snow had a bounce to it. My steps, though slow, were even and smooth. I started to have fun.

"I'll go one more block before turning around."

The block came and went. Every so often, I'd hit a patch of sidewalk where someone had shoveled, and walking became amazingly easy. Then I'd go back to what I was now used to.

And, eventually, walking through the snow became normal. I settled into a slow but steady pace and observed the closed businesses and the unshoveled sidewalks and the snowplows trying to clear the street beside me. At one point, I saw two young people trying to pry a car out of a parking spot, and I helped push it free.

"Thank you!" they called as they headed down the street, wheels spinning in the deep snow.

"They're going to get stuck again," I thought. And they probably did.

I heard sirens in the distance and watched great whirls of snow gust off the rooftops and fill the air with dancing snow phantoms. I ended up walking my whole route.

I remember hearing the neural pathways of our brain described as paths through the snow. I can think in new ways, but it is much easier to follow an existing path, one that has already been cleared, and so I'll do that whenever possible.

But I wonder if there isn't more to it.

I think of all the times that I've heard there was a "right way" to do things, and remember all the times the right way hasn't been all it's cracked up to be. Of course, it's always easy to walk on a clear path. But sometimes I have to break a new trail and, when the path is new, it's often a good idea to find my own way.

"I did the whole loop!" I told my friend in California once I was back. "It wasn't too hard to walk because I was the first one to make tracks!"

"It's harder to follow in someone else's footsteps?" she asked. She hasn't seen a lot of snow.

"It is!"

And it was. And there's a lesson for me in that, I am sure.

Till next time,

Carrie

Photos and other news can be found at CarrieClasson.com.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

life

Complimenting Strangers

The Postscript by by Carrie Classon
by Carrie Classon
The Postscript | January 23rd, 2023

"I have to say, that is a very nice hat!" I told the man as he passed me on the sidewalk.

The man in the snazzy blue fedora had a serious look on his face, as if he was thinking deeply about something far more important than the indigo-blue hat with the red feather sitting on his head.

But whatever less-than-cheerful thought had been preoccupying him (the gathering clouds? The declining stock market? His expanding waistline?), it was whisked away when I complimented his dapper blue hat, and his face broke into a genuine smile.

I know people who say you shouldn't compliment strangers.

"It is intrusive," they say. "It's fake." "Nobody wants a stranger commenting on their appearance!"

I think this is a load of nonsense.

Everyone likes a compliment. I think it means even more coming from a stranger. I don't interrupt conversations to compliment someone. I don't make things up or compliment something I don't genuinely admire. I don't think anyone has ever looked offended when I told them they looked good or something they were wearing was attractive.

I find myself complimenting strangers several times every day. I try to pay attention when I'm on my walks. I try to savor whatever is interesting or beautiful and, much of the time, this is either dogs (because dogs are always interesting and beautiful), or people. I have also complimented gardens, but the people responsible are rarely around to get these compliments. The nice thing about complimenting clothing is that the person associated with it is right there, ready to receive the positive feedback.

"Thank you!" the man in the blue hat said.

I'm sure he knew it was a good-looking hat. It was probably an expensive hat; I haven't bought enough hats to know. But it doesn't really matter. Even if someone has paid a lot for something -- or perhaps especially if they have -- they like to know that it was money well spent, that they look good and that someone has noticed. So, I try to notice.

I've complimented older women on their coats and scarves, young women on the color of their hair (especially if it is blue or green), and tough-looking men on their clever T-shirts. It is always surprising how the people who look the most withdrawn are usually the ones who seem the most pleased. The young man may have forgotten what T-shirt he put on that day, but he's pleased to know it met with an appreciative audience -- even if that audience was the slightly odd, cheerful older woman.

"Thanks!" he'll say, looking both a little embarrassed and absurdly pleased.

It doesn't matter if it's odd, I've learned. It doesn't matter where the comment comes from. It really does not matter at all.

We all want to be seen. We want to know that we do not walk invisible in this world. No one wants to feel alone in a crowd. Compliments may seem trivial or superficial, but sometimes they are the easiest way to throw a line to someone and say, "I see you! Seeing you makes me happy." It takes nothing. And I think it can be more important than we will ever know.

The man in the blue hat had a little more bounce in his step as he walked past me. I have no illusions that I changed his day significantly. But that's not my job. My job is to be more like that little bird who sings the same song, day after day, and makes the world just the smallest bit sweeter.

Till next time,

Carrie

Photos and other news can be found at CarrieClasson.com.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

life

Imperfections

The Postscript by by Carrie Classon
by Carrie Classon
The Postscript | January 16th, 2023

I almost threw away my old lace napkins.

They have rust stains on them. In order to cover the stains, I threw them in a pot of green dye and boiled them. The dye was not a success. The napkins all came out in slightly varying shades of green, and the rust stains -- while less noticeable -- were still there. I used them once and was self-conscious the whole time.

"People are going to think I didn't wash the napkins!" I worried. But I washed them again, ironed them and kept them anyway.

Then, over the holidays, I had the whole family over. I eyed the old green napkins.

They have what appears to be handmade lace around the edges and a crocheted medallion in one corner. They are a generous size and made of good, sturdy cotton. They are serviceable napkins in every way except for the small spots that appear on almost every one of them.

"Not one person in 10 can see those spots!" my husband, Peter, says when I tell him I'm thinking of throwing out the old napkins.

(There are 12 napkins so, even if Peter is right, that still means one person might notice and think, "Did she wash these napkins?")

But I used them anyway. I don't think anyone noticed. Then I washed them again and looked at them before I ironed them. The stains were just as noticeable. The shades of green are no more uniform.

And I realized I kind of liked them.

I have no idea where these napkins came from. I found them when I was cleaning out my barn, preparing to sell my old farmhouse years ago. They are not family heirlooms. I have to assume I picked them up at a garage sale somewhere. I probably didn't look at them closely until I got home, saw the rust stains on them and tucked them away -- unsure from the very beginning whether or not I should keep them.

I wonder who made them. It was a lot of work. I wonder where the rust stains came from. That must have been disappointing for whoever owned them. I'm guessing it happened many years ago. And here I am, still using them. And I do like them.

Things don't have to be perfect. That's what I'm finally coming to accept.

My own inability to reach perfection was an ongoing source of frustration for decades until I reconciled myself to the fact that I was, in fact, good enough. Good enough was a laudable goal. And these napkins, while they would never be featured on any magazine cover, are good enough -- more than adequate, in fact -- for the celebrations I host, which will also not be perfect, but hopefully good enough for everyone in attendance.

It is nice to use something that is old and loved and imperfect.

I look at these napkins and imagine the life they must have had when they were new. Likely they were a wedding present to somebody a very long time ago. They were used for festive gatherings I cannot imagine by people I never knew and maybe just a little of that history is left, maybe a little of that laughter remains, somewhere in their imperfections.

I ironed the old napkins. I folded them. I put them in the drawer for another use at another celebration with different people -- of whom, perhaps, one in 10 might wonder about the rust stains, now camouflaged with green dye.

They still have a purpose -- imperfect as they are. And I take inspiration from that.

Till next time,

Carrie

Photos and other news can be found at CarrieClasson.com.

DISTRIBUTED BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

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