DEAR MISS MANNERS: You have been influential in my decision to take up a new hobby this year: mailing handwritten letters to friends and family for a variety of occasions. This includes handwritten thank-you cards instead of my usual texts of gratitude upon receiving a gift when the giver is not present.

But I got myself into a funny conundrum. My aunt recently sent matching dresses to my two youngest girls. However, "Jane's" dress was delivered by the postman at the same time that he came and took the thank-you card I had written for "Jill's" dress, not knowing Jane was getting one, too.

I have a large extended family with literally dozens of aunts and uncles, and I do not have this aunt’s phone number. I feel like my options are as follows: Send another thank-you card tomorrow for both dresses, explaining why I'd sent the first one; ask my mother to text my aunt to let her know that I did, in fact, receive both dresses; or both.

I think it makes sense to do both. What are your thoughts?

GENTLE READER: Unless the first thank-you letter ended with, “And Jane says, ‘Thanks for nothing -- where’s my dress?’” it is fine -- nay, charming -- to send a second letter without referencing the first.

But if your mother is able to text your aunt, she has her contact information. Miss Manners is not suggesting you have to use it; she is just curious why, despite the dozens of relatives, you cannot seem to figure out how to find this aunt's number.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a very small apartment whose contents and decor I have curated according to my specific needs and taste. But even friends who know this about me give me gifts of coffee-table books, artwork, tableware, clothing and more, none of which I would have chosen for myself and none of which I have room for.

My gift preferences would be consumables -- food, flowers, nice soaps and the like -- and I do mention this when gifts are discussed.

Of course I am grateful for their kindness, and always thank them sincerely in a note, but I find myself regularly giving these presents away.

I once read that the purpose of a gift was to be received, which has alleviated some guilty feelings. So far, no one seems to have noticed that their presents are not present.

GENTLE READER: Lucky you. But even if they are misguided, please remember that your friends’ intentions are to please you, not torture you. And what you do with the presents is up to you. (Miss Manners is having trouble making sense of your "purpose of a gift" quote, but she is pleased that it seems to help you feel better about donating these items.)

As long as you continue to thank your friends, not berate them for their appalling lack of observation, everyone will be fine. Except perhaps the secondhand recipients of the cast-offs, who may be similarly annoyed that you do not understand their tastes.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When flying, I often find myself subjected to the unintentional elbow jabs of my seatmate.

I always make a conscious effort to remain within the boundaries of my seat, carefully avoiding encroaching on anyone else’s space. However, on my last flight, I was elbowed repeatedly while attempting to sleep. (For the record, I have been assured I am not a snorer!)

I’m certain my fellow passengers aren’t doing this on purpose, but the repeated nudging is becoming unbearable. I don’t wish to create a scene or risk being removed from the flight, but I’d also love to know if you have any elegant, perhaps even quippy, way to handle this situation without resorting to calling a flight attendant.

Also, I wonder whether your advice would change depending on the seat I’m in. I am typically a window-seat traveler, though I’ve found myself in the middle seat more than once, much to my dismay.

GENTLE READER: The annoyance is the same no matter which seat you are sitting in. It just feels more injurious when you are suffering in the middle already.

Miss Manners suggests you react to the jabs by looking startled and even producing a small yelp. When your seatmate realizes what caused this, you may say good-naturedly, “We’re packed pretty tight in here.” And if you are awoken? Add, “I hope my being asleep wasn’t bothering you.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How should you respond to a mother-in-law who always calls you fat?

We only see my MIL a few times per year, either when we fly her here to visit or we fly to visit her. Every time, I jokingly make a bet with my husband on how long she will last before making a rude comment about how much weight I've gained.

She said I was fat when I was in great shape. She said I was fat when I was carrying baby weight from giving her two perfect grandchildren.

Before we visited her last summer, I worked hard and lost some weight. She still said I had "gotten fat." I corrected her, saying I had actually lost weight and was wearing size 10 jeans, which was a great accomplishment for me. She thought I was exaggerating and said that I can’t wear a 10 because she wears a 14-16 and is "not that much bigger" than me.

Now I’m NINE MONTHS PREGNANT, and she has arrived to help with the older two children when we go to the hospital. It only took about a half-hour before she started laying into how much weight I’ve gained, saying she’s never seen me this big before.

I never thought she would be so insulting when I am literally days away from delivering. It’s getting under my skin this time, and I have been crying over it. Next time she comments, I think I need to put her in her place. What should I say?

GENTLE READER: Miss Manners suggests starting with, “I’m nine months pregnant!”

When this response is no longer accurate, you may say, “Please do not comment on my weight. I would never dream of saying something about yours.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a college student who lives in the dormitories on campus. The hallways are average-sized -- about 5 feet wide -- and are never crowded, though residents often have conversations in the hall.

Often, two or more people will be leaning on opposite walls, making it impossible to go around the conversation. I always walk through the opening, which is wide enough to go through without coming in contact with either party, and I say “excuse me” to both for interrupting them.

Is this proper etiquette, or is there a more polite way to go down the hall?

GENTLE READER: Your solution is proper. But it does leave Miss Manners racking her brains for any other possible solution that would not involve climbing gear or coming into closer contact with the floor than might be desirable.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was always taught that one’s bread plate is placed to the left. Whenever I am with a large group at a table at a wedding (or another function), at least one person always takes the bread plate to their right. Their neighbors then follow suit, eventually meeting the side of the table using the left plate, leaving someone without one.

I usually just quietly go without bread if I’m the stranded guest, and I don’t really get upset by it. But this seems like such a basic element of table manners that I can’t believe so many people don’t know it.

Can you please weigh in, just for public education, assuming I’m right?

GENTLE READER: You are right. The good news is that most dinner tables are not flush to the wall. If diners are evenly spaced around the edges, then once everyone has, incorrectly, grabbed the plate to the right, the unused plate will be found to your right. All that will then remain will be to clear space to the left for your plate -- and seeing if there is any butter left.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a neighbor who texts me on a fairly regular basis, asking me for all kinds of different things -- usually food items.

She is not poor; she seems to go out multiple times a day and has delivery trucks at her house daily. I am not sure why she can’t make her own grocery runs, as we live very close to multiple stores.

If I respond that I don’t have whatever she is looking for, she usually replies, “That’s OK, I found something else to use,” as if it is my fault she doesn’t have something in her house.

It is very irritating, to say the least! This is a neighbor who, when she is out of the house, is more interested in her phone than in talking to my husband or me. I have blocked her in the past, but am not sure this is the right thing to do.

GENTLE READER: What she is doing only works if you are responding "in real time" -- as one apparently says these days -- which is not yet a requirement of being a good neighbor.

If you take a long time to respond to these texts, she will stop sending them.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)