DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in my office when I got an urge to go to the bathroom. I hate to do this at work, because I work in a converted townhouse where the bathrooms are just one toilet and one sink, like in a house. But I had no choice.

I was sitting in there when I heard my boss outside the door: “Kaitlin, are you in there?”

“Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Mr. Warren is on the phone.” (Well, obviously I couldn’t talk to a client from THAT position. Imagine if I'd had to get up to check my desk calendar!)

“Please ask the gentleman to call back.”

“How long are you going to be in there?”

“Hard to say.”

Then a colleague walked by and started talking to our boss, still standing outside the door. It was like a staff meeting, except that I had other business to do. I just prayed they did not hear anything.

What should I do about this?

GENTLE READER: Find a more observant and discreet boss.

Barring that, Miss Manners suggests that weeks from now, when everyone has forgotten about this particular incident, you bring it up in a meeting:

"Just a quick reminder. Since we are in fairly close quarters around here, I would suggest that if we are indisposed and in the bathroom, we not engage in business."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you please publish a few short words on presenting a proper toast?

Among millennials and Gen Z, the word “cheers” has become both a noun and a verb: I have heard “Let’s cheers to this” and “Can we do a cheers?” Watching young people do this, e.g. on reality TV, is cringeworthy.

In celebration, “cheers” should be an exclamation: “I’d like to propose a toast: Here’s to teaching young people manners and etiquette.” Then everyone raises a glass and exclaims, “Cheers!”

GENTLE READER: While she is always up for a good grammatical fight, Miss Manners still considers this a pretty minor infraction. If you take off the “s,” “cheers” becomes "cheer," which is both a noun and a verb. She suggests that you pretend not to hear the “s” (or the "a" in "a cheers") to spare yourself the cringe.

That young people are engaging in any formalities and celebrating one another at all is praiseworthy. To that, she will propose her own preferred toast: the Italian “Cin cin.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I carry all of my weight in my belly. Since I’ve been 18, I’ve had to deal with people asking when I’m due or whether it’s a boy or a girl. It always makes me feel fat and unattractive.

I always tell them I’m not pregnant, just fat. Then they’re terribly embarrassed, and I find myself managing their emotions and trying to make THEM feel better.

What can I say instead?

GENTLE READER: Just a tight-lipped, “Is who a boy or a girl?”

Self-deprecation is not necessary. Nor, Miss Manners uncharacteristically assures you, is making thoughtless strangers feel better.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a few old friends scattered around the country who will only talk on the phone if they’re actively doing something else. This leads to a variety of acoustic challenges: wind or traffic noise, transactions with shopkeepers, dishes banging, etc.

One of my oldest friends even says, when I call, “Wait, I’ll put on my headset and go walking.” The call instantly deteriorates in sound quality. When I complained that it was taxing to always have to discern background clatter from her words, she protested, “Well, I can’t just TALK to you!”

I am guilty of this, too -- I once found myself playing chess online while speaking to my mother -- but I do sometimes wish there was a way around this modern habit of constant multitasking.

I should add that it seems odd and unfriendly to require all parties to give me their full attention while I speak to them.

GENTLE READER: Yes, we are all guilty of this. Well, almost all. And yes, some are better at disguising it than others.

But phone calls that sound like they are coming from a wind tunnel -- or worse, ones that are interrupted by screams of “You CHOWDER-HEADED FLAPDOODLE! No, not you. I was talking to this KNOW-NOTHING!” -- are not the successful examples of multitasking they think they are.

Miss Manners suggests that if it becomes too distracting, you offer to call back or meet up in person. Preferably indoors and away from traffic.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I bought a drink at a coffee shop that came to $4.22 with tax. I was presented with three tip options: $1, $2 or $3 -- 25%, 50% or 75%, respectively.

Since there weren’t any seats left in the shop, and therefore I was taking my coffee to go (thus reducing the need to clean off a table or deal with my presence in the store), I tipped $1 (25%).

The barista glared at me as though I’d insulted her, and looked like she’d been slapped in the face.

What am I missing? I realize coffee shop workers aren’t rich, but my job doesn’t pay extravagant wages, either. I tip more when I consume my drink in the shop, or when I pose some kind of inconvenience to the staff.

GENTLE READER: When it comes to tipping, which is supposed to be a compliment, it is almost impossible not to insult someone somehow.

Miss Manners once found herself giving offense by tipping a hotel worker for storing her luggage. It seems that he was a manager, and thus above accepting tips -- a stance she admires but rarely encounters.

The tip Miss Manners will give you is to tip in cash. Doing it electronically, and in full view of the other party, is designed to shame the customer into being more generous than intended. Better not to fall for it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been riding to the gym with a person twice a week, but I want to stop because I am not enjoying being with her. What is a good way to let her know without hurt feelings?

GENTLE READER: “I have to change the days that I work out.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I ran into an unexpected soup situation.

My sister flew cross-country to visit my mom and me, and my mom spent hours making a delicious soup so my sister would have a hot meal ready when she arrived. My mom is a great cook.

Unfortunately, as we all sat down to eat, we noticed that a small brush, used for cleaning bottle parts, had fallen into the soup and had possibly cooked with it for a while. My sister and I were pretty put off, but we could tell my mom would be heartbroken if we refused to eat it.

What should we have done?

GENTLE READER: Immediate family rules about sanitary conditions around food may be marginally less strict by mutual consent, but consent is still key.

As there were two of you, you and your sister could have resorted to any distraction and deception techniques you may have worked out when you were young. Such as one of you declaring how great the soup was while the other whisks it to the kitchen before your mother could check the bowls.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: On a cruise to Alaska, my husband, my 24-year-old daughter and I decided to splurge for a helicopter ride to see a glacier. We rode to the glacier with a couple in their 70s and their young grandchild.

We were given very strict safety instructions on how to walk out to the helicopter, how to enter, and who sits where to balance the load.

The grandma decided to stop and pull out her phone to take a photo just before entering the chopper. The instructor tried to get her to board, but it was very loud, so my daughter, who was next in line to enter, tapped her shoulder to alert her.

She got very upset and said that my daughter hit her on purpose. We all apologized profusely, but she would not let it go, and in fact proceeded to tell all the other people that my daughter shoved her.

In fact, my daughter did no such thing.

How does one deal with this situation? We now had to spend time on a glacier with a group of chilly people who heard that my daughter was a snow monster.

GENTLE READER: It was simple politeness on your part to assume that this was an honest misunderstanding, and to act on that assumption by apologizing.

But if you are thinking there were only two possible responses to the grandmother's subsequent rudeness -- a rude counter-retort or meek impotence -- you would be mistaken.

The grandmother's behavior was outrageous: She publicly -- and untruthfully -- accused your daughter of accosting her. The polite response to such behavior is the cold shoulder -- precisely what the grandmother did to you, minus the pointing finger.

The more rational and polite you are (though clearly offended at the suggestion of wrongdoing), and the more your nemesis resorts to whipping herself into a frenzy of finger-pointing and accusations, the more everyone else on the tour will conclude that yours is the more credible story -- and also that your company is more pleasant.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)