DEAR MISS MANNERS: In my neighborhood, periodically, there are open houses. I like to go to them to see the layout of the houses and get decorating ideas.

I always tell the Realtor that I am a nosy neighbor and just curious about the house. I don’t want the Realtor to waste time with me or walk me around. They always respond positively.

Is this rude on my part? My sister thinks it is.

GENTLE READER: Surely this would be an advantage for the seller. Others at the open house could meet a friendly neighbor, and you could spread the word about the delights of the neighborhood.

Is that the problem? Is your sister worried that you might put off potential buyers, either by annoying them in some way, or by telling everyone you meet that there are bodies buried in the backyard?

Otherwise, an open house may be considered open. As Miss Manners discourages guests from asking for house tours, and everyone from peeking into windows, this seems a harmless way to satisfy the curiosity people have about the way others live.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Something apparently shifted between my son’s college graduation ceremony in 2019 and my daughter’s. While the audience at the 2019 ceremony remained in place for the entirety of the two-hour proceedings, this time, fewer than 10% of both the graduates and their attendees stayed to the end.

In fact, almost all of the honorees walked across the stage to receive their diplomas and then simply left instead of returning to their seats. This resulted in a likewise steady exodus of family and friends from the audience while other students were still being called to the stage.

Those of us still trying to enjoy the full ceremony -- and those whose graduates were at the end of the alphabet -- were forced to deal with people squeezing past our knees as they left the aisles.

Am I completely behind the times that I was horrified at the mid-ceremony departures?

GENTLE READER: It always puzzles Miss Manners when those who object to rudeness accuse themselves -- however disingenuously -- of failure to keep up with progress. You are not required to follow progress that is headed downward into lack of consideration for others.

To treat a graduation ceremony as if it were a commercial transaction, where the graduates merely pick up their diplomas and leave, is an act of disrespect for their own classmates. It would be sad if the class had to be instructed beforehand not to do so.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I handle it when, during mealtime with my husband and my mother-in-law, there is enough food for a second helping or so?

I will ask either or both of them if they would like any more (broccoli), and they will say, “No, I may have some later.”

This tells me that they are saying, "I don’t want you to have it." They never eat what is left after I serve myself a very small portion (so I can leave them some).

Should I just say it’s now or never, and go ahead and eat the last portion?

GENTLE READER: Yes.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My friends and I live in a retirement community that takes good care of us, in part by putting little levers near the tops of our apartment doors that our security personnel flip up at night. It is our responsibility to open the door when we arise, which allows the latches to flip down, indicating that we’re up and probably not in trouble.

Our etiquette problem comes up when my friends and I walk for fellowship and exercise. We normally walk outside, but when the weather’s bad, we walk inside, up and down the halls. This is common in our community, and it is generally accepted.

But because we walk fairly early, sometimes we are walking past someone’s front door as they open it, briefly, just to let the latch fall. Sometimes they are completely dressed, and sometimes they are in their dressing gowns.

Should we greet the person in this situation (“Good morning!” without pausing) or just keep walking, looking straight ahead?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps, as this is a retirement establishment, Miss Manners can invoke the Newspaper-on-the-Porch rule without being asked what on earth she means. How would a newspaper land on the porch unless you left your laptop there and it wasn’t stolen?

The meaning is that a brief moment of visibility, even when not dressed for public view, should be politely ignored. The idea was that one should not have to make oneself “presentable” for such a quick foray. (Whoops, there is another concept that might be foreign to many -- that you should look presentable when in public.)

This required both sides to maintain the fiction that the person on the porch had not been observed. This would be harder to do in the proximity of a hallway.

So, if you can plunge down the hall without eye contact, do so. Otherwise, a quick hello, and keep moving.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have been friends with a couple for about 30 years. We have watched their children grow to be lovely young ladies, as they have watched ours grow to be adults. We are close with the couple but not so much with their children.

In 2021, during COVID, their youngest daughter got married in a small private ceremony in their backyard. Only about 15 people were in attendance. Because we are close to our friends, we gave their daughter and her new husband a monetary wedding gift even though we weren’t invited to their wedding. The daughter and her new husband did not acknowledge the gift.

Fast-forward to the present day: We are invited to a celebration of their wedding. My question is, do we give another gift?

GENTLE READER: This couple has been married for three years, and you already gave them a wedding present. Miss Manners is not aware of the need for a You’re Still Married present.

That said, perhaps you are so fond of the parents, and have such pleasant memories of the daughter as a child, that you want to do something extra. While there is no need to give a present, there is no ban against doing so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I own a shop where I sell fine paper goods. After countless coffee spills and food stains on merchandise, I posted a “NO FOOD OR DRINK ALLOWED” sign next to the front door. People still walk in with greasy pizza slices, drippy ice cream cones and overflowing cups of coffee.

When I restate my policy and point to a tray where they can set their food or drink while they shop, they glare at me and storm out like I’m the bad guy. Is there a way to enforce my rule with no hard feelings?

GENTLE READER: Signs indeed hold authority -- and humans can conveniently blame them when enforcing the rules proves awkward. Sheepishly pointing to one and presenting a parking tray for the offending food and drink is about all you can do.

Miss Manners hopes that if ill-mannered and inconsiderate patrons walk out, you may take comfort in knowing that the loss of a potential sale is less costly than a batch of greasy, unusable stationery. Your better-behaved customers will appreciate it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve become closer to a friend in recent years. While I do not see her spouse often, when I do, he never seems to miss an occasion to say something demeaning about (or to) my friend.

Is there anything I can say or do to politely make clear that such comments make me feel uncomfortable? I believe someone needs to stand up to this bully, but I suspect that’s probably not my role, and it could be insulting to my friend.

GENTLE READER: “Please be kind to my friend. I’m sure we all have our faults, but I adore her and won’t hear her being admonished. Now, Emmy, tell me again about your triumphs at work.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My siblings and I are all in our 60s and 70s. I invited them all to a luxury cabin for a family reunion.

I asked for a range of dates so I could coordinate the accommodations and food. Five of my siblings responded immediately with their date ranges. One sibling responded later, and said she was delayed in responding because she had to check with her adult children to see when they could come.

I feel this is quite rude, as the invitation was not extended to anyone other than my siblings and their spouses. She never asked whether the children could attend prior to responding.

Would I be a cad to ask her not to bring her children? She reads your column and would heed whatever advice you might give. If I am wrong to feel she is overstepping the invitation, please let me know that as well.

GENTLE READER: Your sister seems like a kind and sensible woman -- and not just because she reads and listens to Miss Manners. If you reassert that this is a siblings-and-spouses-only event, she will no doubt understand. If not, you might remind her that if her children come, everyone else’s -- plus grandchildren, possibly -- will want to, too, and the cabin would overflow.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)