DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m not well-off, and my friend is. She loves eating at nice restaurants. I can’t afford those, so I usually take her out for hamburgers. She knows my financial circumstances.

I am very uncomfortable letting her treat me to fancy outings because I’m unlikely to ever be able to reciprocate. When I’ve asked her to take me to inexpensive hamburger joints, she will make excuses like she wants to try a restaurant she just heard about, and I’m the only one who can go with her.

Should I refuse to accompany her? Or give up and figure that she can afford it, and that she doesn’t care that I can’t reciprocate?

GENTLE READER: The latter is obviously the case, but you should still reciprocate -- just not in a restaurant competition. Unless you can find a really good restaurant that is not yet well-enough known to charge high prices.

Nah. Your friend would not be able to resist telling her rich friends about it, and the prices would soar. If you must stick with food, perhaps you can manage a good home-cooked meal.

But you needn’t; there are other ways to reciprocate. She must have interests besides eating well. You could give her a small, well-chosen present, such as a book that might interest her, or a gadget that could solve some problem she mentioned. Or volunteer to run an errand, saving her time or stress.

You needn’t do this at every meeting, as if in payment for lunch. Just often enough to show that you care about your friend and enjoy contributing to her happiness, as she does to yours. That is what reciprocation in friendship is.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m in serious need of help. My husband and I are both considered leaders in our community, although my husband has a professional role as such, while I do not.

I was quoted in a newspaper, and people have mentioned to my husband that my statement resonated with their own feelings. One gentleman said, “Your wife is becoming more famous than you.”

While I thought this comment was rude and offensive, he insisted it was “just a joke.” Yet my husband’s reply was, “Yes, well, one of us has to work.”

I found his response disrespectful. I know this is all about his ego -- which is why I was upset about the original comment, which I felt was a slight. However, I am deeply upset by his reply, which not only insulted me, but did so while speaking to someone else. I am even more hurt because I wanted to come to his defense about the “more famous” line, and before I could, he used it as an opportunity to put me down.

I really don’t know what to do and wonder if I’m making too much of it.

GENTLE READER: Now Miss Manners is in need of help. It seems to her that if anyone was insulted here, it would be your husband, for the implication that he was in competition with his own wife.

But why make something of this trivial exchange instead of deflecting it, as your husband did? Is there some sinister subtext missing here?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Three times in the past year, friends have sent me links to crowdfunding sites where family members were soliciting funds to bury a relative. I am uncomfortable adding myself to the list of donor names followed by a dollar amount (the “top donor” and their donation is highlighted).

Now I have received an online notice to pay for a 70-year-old cousin’s death-related expenses. These included cremation, biodegradable urns, jewelry made from the ashes for the five (adult) children, a future “celebration of life” ceremony, and money to purchase a “tribute grove” of five to 15 trees.

This person went a little far, in my opinion, but my main struggle is with the optics of such a list. It appears that people are expressing condolences with money. Most crowdfunding sites have an option to donate anonymously, and I usually do so, because my name is still visible to the organizer.

GENTLE READER: There are those who legitimately need help to finance a memorial service. If a family deems such extras necessary, they can pay for them themselves.

Miss Manners’ advice will not be popular, but she would tell you to refrain from donating except in the most dire of cases -- and to do it anonymously. The competitive aspect of this is unseemly, and best avoided. A condolence letter and offer of help by way of food or transportation is generous.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it inappropriate to take someone’s glasses right off of their face and clean them? This happened to me, and I found it insulting. It was not a stranger, but it was at a social event.

GENTLE READER: It’s just weird. Perhaps this person thought they would be doing you a favor. Miss Manners hopes your stunned look conveyed otherwise.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a teenager in her first job, I have a good workplace, for the most part. The manager is friendly, and the co-workers are amusing and cooperative.

Except one. She is the kind of person who always has SOMETHING wrong: her finger (cut while she was under the influence), her hand (scraped by an approaching car), her hip (nerve pain, which the manager also has), etc.

Her complaints sometimes differ, but they all have one thing in common -- making others pick up her slack.

One employee demanded she never get scheduled on the same shift with her. People trade pained smiles when we get stuck with her during rush hours and closing. Multiple people have approached the manager, and he always says he’ll do something (like cut her hours or talk to her), but it never happens.

How can I elegantly handle this? Or should I keep my nose out of it and deal with it?

GENTLE READER: Perhaps, Miss Manners suggests, you can keep your nose out of it AND deal with it by saying, “I’m so sorry that you’re hurt, but unfortunately, I only have time to do my own job today. Perhaps you can speak to the manager about cutting back if you’re not feeling up to working this week.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After 22 years together, my “husband” and I are finally getting legally married -- a bit tardy, as same-sex marriage was legalized years ago! We’re neither young nor rolling in cash, so we have a very tight budget and need to keep the guest count on the low side.

I would like to include two or three of my co-workers with whom I’m close, but I'm concerned about other co-workers feeling slighted. How does one manage this kind of situation?

GENTLE READER: A wedding is not (or should not be) a networking event. Therefore, etiquette actively discourages inviting co-workers who are not legitimately friends outside of work.

If those who were not invited are bold enough to ask, you may simply tell them it was a small wedding. But Miss Manners suspects that at least one of them will be relieved at not having to spend Saturday evening pretending to be closer with work acquaintances than is the case.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I were dining at a mid-priced restaurant. I ordered the special, which ended up sounding much better than it tasted. It wasn’t spoiled and I didn’t send it back, but it was very bland and the consistency was not great.

We were seated close to another couple, and couldn’t help but overhear some of their conversation. The lady mentioned that she thought the special sounded really good and was planning to order it.

I thought about telling her that it wasn’t very good. I decided not to say anything, but I’m wondering: Would it have been rude to share my observations?

GENTLE READER: Yes, since more than likely, you do not share this lady’s taste buds.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My hair is a natural shade of auburn. How do you respond to a stranger asking if your hair color is real?

GENTLE READER: “Last time I checked.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a happily married woman in my 30s with three children and a successful career. My husband and I have decided that our family is complete.

My widowed mother was fortunate to meet a nice man some years ago. They share their lives and make each other happy.

This man often suggests to me that I should have more children. He also says such things to other women in our family regardless of age, marital status or stage of life. He says that he “wants a baby to hold.”

I’m sure he doesn’t mean to offend, yet we find this quite inappropriate. It makes us uncomfortable to be told that we should be making babies. I’m looking for a polite way to suggest to this man that family planning decisions are not things about which women appreciate unsolicited opinions.

GENTLE READER: Talk to your mother about it: “It is so sweet that Earl loves babies and wants to share in grandparenting with you. But the women in the family are a bit uncomfortable with his constant asking. Perhaps you two can find another outlet for baby-holding. Or,” Miss Manners might add, “adopt a pet.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)