DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have many nurses in my life: My mother, aunt, significant other and FIVE of my closest friends are all in the medical field. I love them all, of course, and love to spend time with them, but they are used to discussing certain things that I would rather not hear about.

I’m not in the medical field, and therefore have little pleasure in hearing about body fluids, bodily waste, catheters and Lord-knows-what-else entering and exiting people’s bodies. They’ll talk about these topics anytime and anywhere, even in public and/or when I’m trying to eat.

I don’t know how to politely steer conversation away without seeming like I’m not interested in or supportive of their professional lives. How can I be a good friend and loved one without risking my appetite at the same time?

GENTLE READER: Ask how they deal with queasiness. If they look puzzled, you can add, “... for people who have trouble hearing about bodily fluids.” And then, sheepishly, “It’s not a theoretical question.”

Miss Manners knows that this comes dangerously close to criticizing their manners for talking shop in front of you, but it does so only indirectly -- and is more likely to be successful than pointing out that their chosen profession has some aspects that are revolting to the uninitiated.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to tell an artist that you love their work, but cannot afford to buy it?

I said something along these lines to an artist at a local art show, and her response was to the effect of, “The price is very reasonable.” Which it was, of course -- I hadn’t intended to imply otherwise, just to express my regret at not being able to purchase the art.

I had thought that saying that I would purchase a piece if only I could was a stronger compliment than simply saying I liked the art and moving on.

GENTLE READER: Sensible people believe you when you say that you love their work; introducing the topic of money does not, contrary to popular belief, make you sound more convincing. And, as Miss Manners could have told you before you discovered it yourself, it can get you into trouble.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been with my partner for a number of years, and all of a sudden he has a problem with my last name. He wants me to get rid of it and renew using my maiden name instead.

I am 73 years old. I have been divorced for 28 years and never thought of changing my married name, having had it longer than I had my maiden name. To change my name would be very expensive, not to mention a hassle: I would have to change it on all of my legal work, house loan, retirement accounts, etc.

Is it worth it, or too much hassle? Just curious.

GENTLE READER: That is entirely up to you. But are we sure that it is your maiden name that your partner wishes you to adopt? That, too, would be your choice. Miss Manners is merely curious.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We were meeting up with longtime friends. Discussing types of vacations, I expressed some concerns about cruises -- specifically the effect they have on the environment in places with fragile ecosystems.

That’s when my friend told us she and her husband were going on a cruise to Antarctica. Yikes!

I fear I have offended her with a holier-than-thou attitude. How do I fix this? What should I have done?

GENTLE READER: How refreshing that you would not rather make it worse, in the name of Truth or Principles or Just Generally Making People Feel Bad.

The only way to handle this, Miss Manners fears, is to move on -- quickly and with an enthusiastic, “Oh, that sounds wonderful. You’re going to have so much fun!” The inconsistency is unimportant, and an extended apology really would make things worse.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a condition that requires medical providers to visit my apartment at least twice per week. I also have badly functioning knees due to a life of significant clumsiness.

Currently, when I am expecting providers, I leave the door unlocked, having instructed them to knock, enter and call “yoohoo” so that I need not leap up and slowly limp to the door to open it for them. This saves my knees a considerable amount of grief, and means I don’t need to lurk near the door to be ready for their arrival. Arrival times naturally vary based upon traffic and how quickly the appointments with the prior patients have gone.

Am I being rude or inappropriate? Also, since their arrival may coincide with my lunch, I frequently keep eating, especially when the visit is simply a delivery of supplies (as opposed to visits from the nurse, who does need my actual cooperation). Is it wrong to continue to eat while we chitchat?

GENTLE READER: Rules of social etiquette apply to social situations -- not the ones you are describing, which Miss Manners sees broadly as the provision of medical care. Think of the parallel situation: If you were in a hospital room, you would acknowledge all caregivers, and thank the person who brings your meal. But you would not hop to your feet or offer to share your food.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When you check out at a grocery store, bank, gas station, coffee shop, etc., the employee will often say, “What are your plans for today? Doing anything special?”

Since I don’t know them and they aren’t my friends, I’m at a loss as to how to reply. Why would I share this personal info with a stranger?

I usually respond with “not much.” A friend of mine is so fed up, she replies, “I’m getting a divorce,” which really shuts them up.

GENTLE READER: While agreeing that such questions are intrusive, Miss Manners reminds everyone that one offense does not justify another.

What we can call your friend’s Educational Response pushes the boundaries, being acceptable only if delivered in a way that is clearly a jest. That requires, at the least, eye contact and a friendly smile.

A less risky answer would be, “More errands!”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We live next to a couple in their mid-60s (we are in our early 50s). They have been great neighbors since we moved in seven years ago.

The wife is a wedding florist and brings me a fresh bouquet of flowers each month. In exchange, I give her lots of vegetables from my garden and will water her outdoor plants when they go out of town. They have a pool and will also give us permission to swim a few times per year.

One Saturday, when she was away from the house for a wedding, I saw her husband in his swim trunks with his back to me, and he appeared to be peeing in the yard. It was broad daylight! I kept watching to make sure the spurting I saw wasn’t coming from a hose, and sure enough, after he had finished, he turned around and was adjusting the front part of his trunks. No garden hose in sight.

He did not see me, so he doesn’t know I witnessed this. Because his wife was away, she doesn’t know about this either. My guess is if she knew, she would read him the riot act.

I really like this couple, but I am also really disgusted. It feels beyond disrespectful, to the point of being a visual assault. I want to tell his wife, but I’m afraid it would upset her, and change the relationship forever.

I also feel like the egregious nature of his behavior is forcing me into silence -- basically that it’s so embarrassing for everyone involved that I’m powerless to say anything. As a woman and a feminist, this makes me really angry that he has put me in this position.

Should I have said something in the moment? If so, what? Or is there some way to address it with them after the fact?

GENTLE READER: No. You may never want to swim there again, but the chance of your solving that problem is slim, while the chance of your creating multiple problems is enormous.

However unappetizing the act, it was done on private property by the owner, who could reasonably expect to be unobserved. Miss Manners fails to see how this attacks you as a feminist.

Had he committed a crime, you should have reported it to the authorities. Had he been embracing another woman, there might be a difficult question of whether to inform his wife. Even so, you would have to be positive that it wasn’t his favorite cousin whom he was congratulating on her engagement.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A gentleman is eating in a crowded diner. Across the way, he sees a young woman alone in a booth. Her pocketbook falls out of her purse onto the floor. She doesn’t notice.

He approaches: "Miss, excuse me ..." She interrupts and says, “I have a boyfriend! And why do you assume I’m a ‘miss’?!”

He apologizes for bothering her and leaves. Should he have done anything differently?

GENTLE READER: Kept her wallet? Well, no, although leaving it where it fell would be no more than this person deserved.

However, Miss Manners feels that there might have been a corrective lesson about the dangers of insult-collecting if the gentleman ignored the attack and stated his purpose in addressing her.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)