DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have noticed a peculiar new phenomenon: people's refusal to knock on the front door. When a tradesperson, or even a friend, arrives at my house, they will just text "I'm here" from their vehicle.

What is the proper response to this? I generally feel obliged to get up and come out to their car, which I do not appreciate.

Should I text back, "Proceed to the front door," "Are you planning to knock on the door?" or "Shall I roll out the red carpet?"

GENTLE READER: It is unclear to Miss Manners if these people are planning to stay. "Wonderful. We're here" -- accompanied by opening the door -- should suffice for a dinner guest.

The delivery person who does not want to get out of the car is unilaterally changing the rules, which generally assume delivery to the door. To those persons, Miss Manners would suggest you respond, "Thanks. Please just leave it at the front door." Note the absence of sarcasm -- and thus, impoliteness -- in her responses.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have an acquaintance who has had severe health problems in recent years and is now often housebound. I visit as often as I can, and take her out as her health permits.

She has developed a habit of creating group texts and sending out holiday greetings, photos and other nonessential communications. I don't care to have my phone constantly pinging with inane graphics and people responding with thumbs-up and heart emojis, but I tolerate it because I know it makes her happy, and it's her way of staying in touch when she can't go out.

But then my friend sent out some photos that included me and my ex. The breakup was painful for me, and the pictures were a random and jarring intrusion, leaving me sad for the rest of the day. Is there a polite way to ask my friend not to send photos of my ex?

GENTLE READER: You rightly recognize that etiquette can tell us how to put a stop to objectionable behavior, but not how much one should tolerate it due to mitigating circumstances.

Ask your friend not, in future, to send photos of your ex. In deciding whether to soften the request, either by your tone or by folding it into a larger communication, the only circumstances Miss Manners recommends considering are how good your friend is at following your wishes.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a single woman in my 50s. Many people I barely know ask why I am wearing a ring on my left hand when it's clear I'm unmarried and without children.

My fiance passed away years ago, and it's hard to talk about it. How do I deal with the gossips?

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners understands that you wear the ring as a sign of respect for your fiance, you must concede that doing so is bound to cause confusion, even among those who are too polite to pry.

While she does not defend the nosy, the surest way to avoid being asked about the ring is to move it to another finger -- a change your fiance would no doubt have understood.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it rude to say "nice to see you again" when someone introduces themselves as if you've never met? You don't really know until you get past this greeting whether someone remembers you or not.

As a longtime employee, I often remember those I've assisted over the years. I fear I've put people on the spot this way, when I was simply trying to convey some warmth upon seeing them again.

GENTLE READER: Recognizing a returning customer is flattering, but you do have to be prepared if others' memories are not as good as yours.

Miss Manners assumes that people of average acuity, when greeted as you propose, will have the grace to pretend remembering you. If they look surprised, then you may offer minimal additional information ("I helped you when you were here last week") lest they start looking for the exits.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My in-laws retired and moved to a remote part of the country that is quite expensive to fly to, and would take several days to drive to. We visited when they first moved two years ago, but no one has really visited them since.

We received a letter stating there would be a family reunion at their property, along with a list of all the expensive things they have done in preparation for this reunion. Not a single family member lives in their state, so this is an ordeal for all relatives involved, and there were no such reunions when we all lived in the same area.

It seems to be an attempt to draw in visitors. We received another letter stating that this will be the "first annual" reunion, implying they expect this yearly.

My husband and I are fine going this one time, as it would be nice to see everyone, but we also agree that we will not be doing this yearly -- we would like to have vacation money to experience other places besides their backyard.

They are quite well off, so they can afford to visit us whenever they like, and I have already extended an open invitation. But they are easily hurt and prone to giving the silent treatment (sometimes for a year or so) when angry.

My husband does not want to broach the topic, but I feel that it will be better to get it over with so they can be mad and then recover. How should we approach this with them?

GENTLE READER: Accepting the invitation for this year does not, technically, commit you to future attendance. But Miss Manners agrees with you that it will allow your in-laws to say, next year, that they took your silence to mean you were in favor of an annual event.

She agrees with your husband, however, in not looking for trouble. You need to establish that you accept or decline invitations on a one-by-one basis -- which can most easily be done if you are not available to attend this year. If they ask about future years, you will then have your opening to say that with everyone's schedules, you simply don't know; you would like to attend when you can, but many times, it may not be possible.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work in the wedding industry, and I have been rather flummoxed by a recent trend: It seems to have become the fashion for the bride and groom to order themselves a special meal, of a higher caliber and price point than what their guests are having.

An example might be that all of the guests have a choice of roast chicken or a pork chop, but the groom has ordered himself a 20-ounce porterhouse.

I realize that the bridal couple sees this as "their special day," but as they are completely on display at the head table, this display of luxury is not exactly subtle. Also, as I try to explain to them during the planning process, a bride and groom will rarely get to enjoy their meal at the reception anyway, what with all of the interruptions from speeches and the like.

In any case, I find this to be in very bad taste, and would love to have the input of Miss Manners.

GENTLE READER: It is hard to resist the temptation to point out that it is the wedding industry that came up with idea that a "special day" is one on which the couple can do whatever they want. In other words, a day on which etiquette, in the form of consideration for one's guests, is suspended.

Thank you for trying to disabuse them of this vulgar notion, but it is probably too thoroughly ingrained.

Even wedding guests who complain to Miss Manners of mistreatment add, "But I know it's their day, and they can do whatever they want." Including being rude.

If it is any help, you might mention that however impressed the couple hopes their guests will be at their wedding arrangements, the mealtime discrepancy is all they will talk about afterwards. And sometimes during.

You might also mention that the very concept of suspending etiquette is a bad way to start a marriage. Another frequent complaint Miss Manners receives is from the spouses of people who believe that they can "be themselves" at home -- by which they mean not having to be polite to those they live with.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I adore shrimp and mussels. When eating with family and close friends, I use my fingers to remove the shrimp tails and pull the mussels out of the shells. But in public, or with people I don't know well, I order something else because I don't know how to eat them without using my hands.

I've tried the usual table implements, and just end up with the broth or sauce spattered all over the immediate vicinity.

GENTLE READER: Not your fault. Miss Manners believes that restaurants are obliged to enable their customers to eat what they order in as dignified a way as possible. And that means doing away with the silly custom of leaving the shell on the shrimp.

What you need for those mussels is a teeny-weeny fork plus one hand, but not two. Holding the shell in one hand, you spear the mussel with the fork.

She therefore authorizes you to ask that the shell and the tails be removed from the shrimp, and that you be provided with a shellfish fork for the mussels.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)