DEAR MISS MANNERS: Two overused phrases bother me:

1. "That's a great question."

The first time someone said that to me, I thought I must be clever. Now, that phrase is so overused, it's just filler until they can come up with a response. Perhaps when they do, I should say, "That's a great answer!"

Another comment used too often:

2. "Perfect."

Used to be, there was a perfect sunset or a perfect storm or something you created turned out perfect -- or when Murphy's law was ruling my life, and anything that could go wrong did, I'd mutter, "Perfect."

Now, if you can recite your account number correctly, the response is "Perfect!"

And don't get me started on the requirement for customer service reps to be "chirpy." I'll take one who is friendly, professional and knowledgeable over chirpy any day.

GENTLE READER: That the stalling technique has become commonplace disappoints Miss Manners. She had been thinking what a nice ruse it was. Not that she has ever had to use it.

And "perfect" is one of several unwarranted superlatives in common use. Miss Manners finds "amazing" and "incredible" even more annoying when applied to unsurprising, perfectly believable actions.

So it is with some understanding that she asks you to tolerate these common usages. You will probably get more sympathy from the language department.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am soon to host a semiformal dinner -- and no, I don't know exactly what that means (I was kind of roped into it). I plan to have hors d'oeuvres, soup, salad, a main course, dessert and coffee.

I don't know what order to serve the dishes in. I really don't think the soup and salad should be served one after the other, but can't say why. Can Miss Manners please advise?

GENTLE READER: Your instinct about this is better than your experience.

Indeed, many people now serve salad before the main course, and argue that it is better to fill up on that than on the protein and carbohydrates that follow. (And yet they eat those, anyway.)

Traditionally, the salad follows the main course, but restaurants generally serve salad first, and people have come to believe that the practices of restaurants represent the best service.

They fail to realize that restaurants have to work around problems that private households do not. For instance: You know what you will serve, but restaurants can only guess which of their choices will be ordered by their clients -- who are hungry, or they wouldn't be there. So restaurants stave them off with bread and salads until their orders are ready.

Miss Manners thanks you for calling the main course a main course, not an entree. An entree is a course served between the first and main ones. In violation of her own plea, above, to tolerate common usage, she is annoyed at the misuse of this term.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When someone gives you a gift, what do you do?

GENTLE READER: Offer thanks and refrain from mentioning that it is not to your taste -- and that anyway, you already have one.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend I rarely see, other than on social media, posted a confusing message. As she seemed to be in great distress, I clicked on the "care" button and figured I'd find out in time what was going on.

The confusing messages continued for a week. Since she seemed to be so distraught, I thought it was more polite to simply continue to click on the "care" button for these posts rather than ask her to explain what had happened.

Turns out, her husband had died suddenly. Do I send her a letter of condolence on her loss, with perhaps an offer to meet her for coffee at some time in the future? Or, in my confusion, have I exceeded the statute of limitations for expressing condolences? I don't want to make her life worse right now.

GENTLE READER: Because you think you pushed the "care" button too many times? Whether this is literally the case or not, metaphorically it is not possible.

Miss Manners assures you that a written condolence letter will not make this person's life worse. Well, she supposes that depends on what you write. But expressing sadness for this person's loss is all you need to say -- excuses, apologies or emotional cartoon faces (no matter how heartfelt) need not be conveyed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Whenever I ask someone a question over text or through a messaging app, it feels weird to me to just ask the question. Instead, I always start off with "Hi (Name)," even if I just talked to them recently. I feel like the urge to add some kind of introduction comes from writing longer emails.

Is it rude to just ask a question over text without some kind of preface? Or is that OK when people are expecting a shorter message?

GENTLE READER: Text messaging is, at its core, informal. But Miss Manners shares your affinity for prefacing the subject with "Quick question" or a short greeting.

That said, she detests the arresting "Hey!" -- finding it even more jarring than no greeting at all.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend brings his paper cup of coffee into a good restaurant.

I don't think this is good manners. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: That your friend's estimation of the restaurant is not as favorable as yours.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After waiting 30 minutes to be seated in a crowded restaurant, my friend asked the very busy waitress to sample different wines before she ordered a glass.

Was this OK under the circumstances? Is it ever OK? I was so uncomfortable that I mentioned it to her. She got irate, I left, and it ended our friendship.

GENTLE READER: Was it worth it?

Asking to sample wines at a restaurant is not in itself rude. At some establishments, it is actually encouraged. Abusing the privilege, however, is irksome -- and can be exploitative, if the samples become the equivalent of a full glass.

But unless this was the latter -- or only the last in a series of inconsiderate behaviors from your friend, and you have simply had enough -- Miss Manners suggests you try to make amends. And avoid crowded restaurants.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When I was a kid and wanted to play with a friend, I called the friend's house and made plans. Now that I'm a parent with my own kids, and landlines have virtually disappeared, it is almost impossible for my children to make plans without me as an intermediary -- texting/calling their friends' parents on our respective cellphones to set up a time/place.

My kids are 10 and 14, and many of their friends still do not have cellphones. It feels a little absurd for me to coordinate plans for my 14-year-old, but I don't know how else he can get in touch with his phone-less friends.

Is there something I'm missing? How do other parents do it?

GENTLE READER: If there is no other method of communication for your teenager's phone-less friends (tablet, email, etc.), then coordinate you must. Yes, it may feel absurd, and no doubt it will be highly embarrassing to all teens involved -- but at that age, everything is.

On the upside, it is not the worst thing to know -- and alert other parents -- to what your child is doing. Miss Manners presumes it is the primary reason parents do not let their children have cellular phones in the first place.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have gone to the same hairstylist for years. We know many people in common. She has asked me more than once if my granddaughter and her fiancee are living together, and she has also asked about my son-in-law's parents' divorce.

I feel vulnerable when she has scissors in hand or when she is mixing chemicals to put on my hair. I am considering changing salons to avoid these personal questions.

If I speak up, what should I say? I am not good at standing up for myself.

GENTLE READER: Then stand up, instead, for your relatives: "I am not authorized to speak on behalf of my family members' personal situations, but tell me, how are things going around here?"

At which point, the hope is that your hairstylist will launch into tales about herself or about someone else's personal life -- something you can tune out or deflect.

Clearly your hairstylist relishes gossip, but Miss Manners will hazard a guess that she probably does not much care whence it comes.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: An acquaintance stopped by uninvited. I didn't mind that he came; I don't mind the company, usually.

To be polite, I offered him a cup of coffee, which he accepted. I asked if he wanted milk or sugar. He said he wanted sugar and cream. I told him that I do not use cream, and therefore don't keep any on hand.

He was very offended and rude and told me that I should always accommodate guests and keep it available.

Remember, he was uninvited. When inviting company over for coffee, I am more willing to accommodate guests and buy something that I will not use, but not for an acquaintance who just happened by one day. How much should I be willing to accommodate uninvited guests?

GENTLE READER: Exactly as much as they are accommodating you by showing up unannounced.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)