DEAR MISS MANNERS: I recently had an issue with my co-worker/friend. She was given her assignment at 7 a.m., and I reminded her about it two more times. At the end of her shift, she told me she had been too busy to complete her assignment.

She definitely was not too busy to perform her tasks that day, which was confirmed by another worker in her department. I now see I should have followed up more closely, but I didn't feel I needed to micromanage her. I am still a little bitter about her lack of ownership.

I will soon be having a holiday get-together at my home. This co-worker/friend has attended in the past, and another friend is pushing me to invite her again this year. How should I handle this?

GENTLE READER: The advantage of labels like "friend" and "co-worker" is that they describe an expected set of behaviors -- an advantage that is lost when they are all applied at once.

Unless your co-worker/friend is also your "/employee," Miss Manners fails to see how supervising her was your responsibility (or how explaining herself to you was hers).

And unless your other friend is also your "/co-host," she should be thanked for her suggestion -- just as your co-worker no doubt thanked you for your reminders about her work assignment. You may then decide whether your co-worker is enough of a "/friend" to merit an invitation to a purely social occasion.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend has me driving her to appointments each week. Never does she offer a few dollars for gas. I have no way of suggesting some monetary help, but I am on a fixed income and she is not.

What to do or say without sounding poor-mouth?

GENTLE READER: Silly Miss Manners thought you were going to ask how to be relieved of doing constant, burdensome favors for a friend who does not try to reciprocate. (To which she would have answered that you are free to say you cannot drive her this week -- and repeat it each week until it becomes clear that there will rarely be a good time.)

But should you continue, she suggests a gas stop on the way back from one of those appointments, at which you ask, "Would you mind getting this?" Your tone should assume that your friend was reluctant to offer, but happy to do so.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What's your opinion on receiving a late birthday card year after year from my cousin? I have, in the past, said, "I received your card TODAY! I have it on display with the cards I got on my birthday, the 10th." But I don't think she has caught on.

Do I just continue to be joyfully grateful for receiving a card, no matter how early or late?

GENTLE READER: Can't you consider that the cards are merely 50 weeks early?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you suggest a tactical and polite way to approach a neighbor we do not know, asking if he would kindly consider reducing the wattage of the lightbulb in his front lawn lamppost?

The light literally outshines the entire street. More specifically, it casts a glare into the confines of our porch, where we enjoy sitting for a couple of hours at night with a few candles lit for atmosphere.

This is developing into a major problem between my husband and me, and we would like to resolve it without installing a shade on the porch window or planting tall shrubs at our expense. Would an upfront approach with the neighbor seem safe, considering how touchy people are these days about their rights? How would you handle this?

GENTLE READER: That you characterize this as a problem between you and your husband -- rather than as your joint problem with the neighbor -- suggests to Miss Manners that the spouse less concerned about the problem should be the one to approach the neighbor.

That spouse, being less angry, is less likely to set off a possibly touchy neighbor, and therefore more likely to succeed. She suggests the less-engaged spouse draft a letter to the neighbor to be signed by the more-engaged. Such a letter should assume that the neighbor is not unreasonably touchy, and would be glad to know about an inadvertently caused problem.

The phrase "I'm sure you don't realize ..." will be more effective if paired with a separate statement that you would like to get to know the neighbor, and an invitation to enjoy a drink on the porch. That the neighbor will then experience the issue himself need not be mentioned.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is one obligated to speak to a stranger who approaches them? And are there different rules when it is in person versus online?

I commented on someone else's (public) social media post, and a complete stranger replied to me, addressing me by first name as if we were long acquaintances. I replied to them that I was certain they did not know me. They replied that they would like to, and I gave them my customary answer: "No."

GENTLE READER: The obligation to acknowledge strangers ends when they make a nuisance of themselves, an exception that telemarketers live in hope you will forget.

As Miss Manners sees it, the distinction between online and off is that a stranger approaching you on the street presents a possibly frightening intrusion, whereas it is expected in online forums. So while your would-be social media friend was not rude in addressing you, and although they are hardly the only person who believes that surnames have been abolished, they forfeited any further call on your time after progressing to cheeky.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Can you please tell me how to respond when family or close friends recommend a particular TV series to watch, only for me to find out that the show is full of situations and dialogue that go against our moral standards?

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings by telling them that we objected to their suggested program.

GENTLE READER: Are they close enough for you to have a civil discussion about what bothers you? If not, "It's not really our taste" should be enough, and Miss Manners reminds you that there is no accounting for taste.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Donation request platforms are becoming ever more popular. Sadly, many families rely on these online fundraising campaigns for medical bills and other very valid needs.

However, I find myself becoming a little cynical and exasperated with repeated posts and requests. For example, a family I know is raising money for a trip to another city for their daughter's medical procedure, but also shares posts about their family vacations to Disney.

Usually, I just choose whether to give or not, and don't think twice. But I recently received a personal message from a friend whose fund I donated modestly to in the past. She messaged me that she has more than $600 in medical expenses coming up, that she had created a fundraiser and that any amount would help.

I was taken aback by the manner of the request, and since my friend hadn't posted anything about it, I thought her account had been hacked. I reached out to her and asked if her account was compromised. She acknowledged that she had sent me the request.

So now I'm a bit torn about what to do. On one hand, she's having medical problems and I want to help. On the other hand, my financial situation isn't such that I can make a meaningful contribution. Plus, I only hear from this friend when she needs something.

What's the protocol for such requests? Is it expected to give a nominal amount if someone you know "hits you up" specifically? Do I explain why I won't be contributing or just pay up?

GENTLE READER: The world is full of people in need, and Miss Manners commends your sympathetic attitude. But even rich philanthropists know that they can't help everyone and must judge cases in order to use their donations effectively.

Donating to "whoever I know who happens to ask" is not a good plan. And "not thinking twice" is not a good policy. You should be deciding how much charity you can afford and giving it to people or causes you are truly moved to help -- not people you feel are taking advantage of you, and even hounding you.

Online pleas may be ignored. For face-to-face ones, you should express sympathy, but explain nothing more than that you have committed your charitable budget elsewhere.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A relative sent me a card for my birthday with a single lottery ticket, just for fun. I didn't end up winning anything.

Is a lottery ticket considered a gift, and if so, should I write a thank-you note? Would the answer change if I had won something?

GENTLE READER: Yes and yes. As it is, you could write, "I had such fun thinking how you and I could enjoy all that money." Had you won, Miss Manners suggests something more like, "I know you have been wanting a new car, and I'm so happy to now be able to get it for you."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)