DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like your opinion on a trend in conversational courtesy.

Other person: "Hi! How are you?"

Me: "Fine, thanks, how are you?"

Other person: "I'm fine, thanks for asking."

Why "Thanks for asking"? Should I have said that, too? I did thank them, but not as elaborately.

I feel as though something else needs to be said in order to move on to the purpose of the conversation, but what? "You're welcome" is absurd.

It jars, and I'm not sure why, so I just blunder on with the conversation.

GENTLE READER: When shopkeepers collectively discovered "Have a nice day," a number of Miss Manners' gentle readers objected that the sentiment expressed was disingenuous. She reminded them not to take such things as more than ordinary politeness: Not every morning is good, after all, but we still say "Good morning."

"Thanks for asking" is no doubt well-intentioned, but not mandatory. At some point we are going to have to stop adding words so that we can actually have our day.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it proper to invite friends to your baby shower who came to your wedding a year ago, but who were not invited to your bridal shower?

GENTLE READER: It is reasonable to assume that our nearest and dearest rejoice in our good fortune. But Miss Manners has long believed that it is bad policy to test those feelings unnecessarily, which is one reason she objects to the proliferation of additional gift-giving opportunities around major life celebrations.

Your question raises another: How does one exclude a guest from one event in a series without looking as if you sent them home without dessert?

One cannot, which is why one has to think back to the distinct events being celebrated -- in this case, a wedding and a birth. Whatever the connection between those two, etiquette has long considered them separate causes for celebration. This absolves you of having to recycle the guest list, whatever the order in which the celebrations occurred.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I often have adult visitors of various ages stay at my house. Sometimes in the afternoon, while watching television or when everyone is sitting around talking, someone will unintentionally fall asleep.

I take it as a compliment that they are able to relax in my presence. But if I needed to wake the person up, how would I kindly do so? Or when the person wakes up and seems embarrassed, how do I reassure them that it's OK that they were resting?

Lastly, how should I handle the situation if I ever fall asleep without meaning to, whether as a host or a guest?

GENTLE READER: The best way to demonstrate that it is not a problem is to take little or no notice: Engage the person when awake, overlook any discomfort demonstrated, and quietly remove any items -- such as empty glasses -- that appear to be in danger.

As a guest, you may expect the same courtesy from your host. If you fall asleep at your own party, it may be worth apologizing -- particularly if you wake to find the guests gone, the lights off and the dishes put away (in which case, the apology will require a call or note).

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a single father. I am not divorced; I am not co-parenting. It is just me and my son.

Many people I meet cannot seem to grasp the concept, and I am constantly asked invasive questions. Many of them are about my former wife or girlfriend (no such person exists). I am sometimes asked about my son's origins -- traditional birth, adoption, surrogacy, etc. A surprising number of times, I am asked the highly specific question, "How often do you get him? Every other weekend?"

When people encounter a single mother, no one ever asks, "I see you have four children. How many different fathers?" or "Do the fathers pay child support or are they deadbeats?" It's ludicrous.

GENTLE READER: Don't be so sure that single mothers are spared this intrusiveness. Or any parents, for that matter. Or just about anyone else, as we have a pandemic of rudely expressed nosiness.

So Miss Manners believes it is useful to have a response that means, but does not say, "None of your business."

In this case, start with a firm "It's just him and me," which can be quietly repeated as necessary. And the answer to where you got him can be "The stork brought him," or "From the cabbage patch," or "Surely you know where babies come from."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was raised in a world of social graces where you did not ask point-blank questions, except among family or very close friends. This has changed, which mostly doesn't bother me; people are curious by nature.

The particular question that ruffles me is, "Why are you so dressed up?"

When I am asked this, I am not "dressed up." I do my hair, do my makeup and wear business casual attire throughout the week.

Currently I am taking business classes, and I also drive a school bus for our district. I am on a high school route, and I feel image is very important. (I feel most of the other drivers dress fairly "slobby" and set a bad example. I hold my tongue on this opinion, though.) Also, I live in a southern climate, so dresses just make sense, but this has led to embarrassing moments of being asked if I wear dresses and skirts for religious purposes.

These are grown adults asking me this, not my students. I can't get over how rude this is. Is there a way to handle this situation other than to roll my eyes and become sarcastic? Is a polished professional that rare these days?

GENTLE READER: Yes, a polished look is now rare, which is all the more reason to expose high school students to it. And to teach it to grown-ups, whose motive with these questions can only be to lower your standards to meet theirs.

"No," Miss Manners suggests you explain, "these are everyday clothes. I don't wear my gym clothes to work."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When you invite someone to lunch, on you, isn't it rude if they ask to bring someone else? It puts you in an awkward position, doesn't it?

GENTLE READER: Not if you respond, "Not this time -- I was looking forward to a lunch with just the two of us."

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a dinner party for eight people. Six of them, including my spouse and me, later tested positive for COVID.

Prior to the party, we all tested negative, but obviously one or more of us was not symptomatic at the time. Five days after the party, the first person reported that he tested positive, and I contacted the rest of the guests and let them know. Over the next week, most have confirmed that they have the virus.

I feel certain that the party was the event that precipitated this, and feel terrible that my guests are ill because of it. What is the right thing to do now?

GENTLE READER: Oh, dear. Not your fault, of course, but it was your party.

You have already done the right thing in notifying people immediately, and, Miss Manners trusts, telling them how terrible you feel. This is a rare occasion where the non-apology so often used illegitimately by guilty people -- a variation of "I'm sorry you feel that way" -- is legitimate. You do feel bad that they feel sick.

There are two more things for you to do -- or, rather, one to do and one not to do:

You should check up on your guests occasionally to see how they are doing, and you should refrain from any speculation about who was the carrier. Everybody tested and everybody attended in good faith, so no good can come of targeting anyone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I asked my fiance, via text, to please call me before he left a party. His response was, "Why?"

I found this extremely rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful. He disagrees, and says it is a way of saying, "What do you want?" which I still find offensive.

This has now become a highly debated and contentious subject. Am I wrong to believe he should have instead said "OK" or "What's up?"

GENTLE READER: Let's settle this before you are married. Otherwise, there will be bad times ahead.

It is no more clear to Miss Manners than it was to your fiance why you wanted him to call at that particular moment. So his question does not seem unreasonable to her, although perhaps it could have been interpreted with a challenging tone.

But that would be looking for trouble. Which is what you seem to be doing.

You denounced his response as if he had told you to go to the devil (or worse, but that's as far as Miss Manners will go) and then refused to accept his benign explanation.

One question for you: Why?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There was a time when it was considered bad manners to bring a gift to a wedding. Rather, gifts were to be delivered prior to, or even after, the wedding day. It was particularly gauche to bring one to a black-tie affair. When I was a kid, there were no gift tables at receptions. It simply wasn't done.

GENTLE READER: Nor should it be, ever, although what the dress code has to do with it puzzles Miss Manners.

People having a wedding are too preoccupied to accept presents in the usual gracious manner. Those gift tables are notorious for losing cards and, in semi-public places, even losing packages.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)