DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a dinner party for eight people. Six of them, including my spouse and me, later tested positive for COVID.

Prior to the party, we all tested negative, but obviously one or more of us was not symptomatic at the time. Five days after the party, the first person reported that he tested positive, and I contacted the rest of the guests and let them know. Over the next week, most have confirmed that they have the virus.

I feel certain that the party was the event that precipitated this, and feel terrible that my guests are ill because of it. What is the right thing to do now?

GENTLE READER: Oh, dear. Not your fault, of course, but it was your party.

You have already done the right thing in notifying people immediately, and, Miss Manners trusts, telling them how terrible you feel. This is a rare occasion where the non-apology so often used illegitimately by guilty people -- a variation of "I'm sorry you feel that way" -- is legitimate. You do feel bad that they feel sick.

There are two more things for you to do -- or, rather, one to do and one not to do:

You should check up on your guests occasionally to see how they are doing, and you should refrain from any speculation about who was the carrier. Everybody tested and everybody attended in good faith, so no good can come of targeting anyone.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I asked my fiance, via text, to please call me before he left a party. His response was, "Why?"

I found this extremely rude, inconsiderate and disrespectful. He disagrees, and says it is a way of saying, "What do you want?" which I still find offensive.

This has now become a highly debated and contentious subject. Am I wrong to believe he should have instead said "OK" or "What's up?"

GENTLE READER: Let's settle this before you are married. Otherwise, there will be bad times ahead.

It is no more clear to Miss Manners than it was to your fiance why you wanted him to call at that particular moment. So his question does not seem unreasonable to her, although perhaps it could have been interpreted with a challenging tone.

But that would be looking for trouble. Which is what you seem to be doing.

You denounced his response as if he had told you to go to the devil (or worse, but that's as far as Miss Manners will go) and then refused to accept his benign explanation.

One question for you: Why?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There was a time when it was considered bad manners to bring a gift to a wedding. Rather, gifts were to be delivered prior to, or even after, the wedding day. It was particularly gauche to bring one to a black-tie affair. When I was a kid, there were no gift tables at receptions. It simply wasn't done.

GENTLE READER: Nor should it be, ever, although what the dress code has to do with it puzzles Miss Manners.

People having a wedding are too preoccupied to accept presents in the usual gracious manner. Those gift tables are notorious for losing cards and, in semi-public places, even losing packages.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How can I politely send regrets to an invitation to a coin shower without feeling obligated to send a contribution? (I plan to give a cash wedding gift, as the couple requested.)

The shower invitation provides a phone number and an address in another state. I don't know the hosts. Is it gauche to reply by text?

GENTLE READER: "Coin shower"? And this, Miss Manners is to understand, is only the warm-up to the "cash tsunami" that is the wedding? How charming.

But you only asked about how to send your reply. A text is probably fine, given the casual circumstances. But a handwritten response is always better -- if only to show that the guests are less gauche than their money-grubbing hosts.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is very handy, and works for himself flipping houses and doing construction. Every time we get close to new people, they seem to expect him to fix their home needs: leaking plumbing, doors that stick, any home maintenance that they don't know how to handle.

What is a polite way to say no? We feel especially uncomfortable when we know someone is not in a good place financially. He always ends up saying yes, resentfully, and now he doesn't want to make any new friends at all because they all seem to want to use him as their personal handyman.

He has no interest in doing their work in any manner -- not for free or for money. He has enough on his plate!

GENTLE READER: And that right there is the polite way to say no: "I am very sorry, but Scott is just so busy right now, he doesn't have any extra time -- even to help out a friend. I'm sure that you, as an overworked and exhausted (insert asker's occupation) understand how precious any time away from work is."

Miss Manners' hope is that no matter the profession of your brazen new friend, they will easily be able to relate to the objection of providing free labor.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We had a friend visit us from out of town. She told us she would like to take us out to dinner one evening and asked us to choose a restaurant. We chose a very moderately priced place that we knew and liked.

When the meal was over and our friend was given the bill, she exclaimed at the total, making comments about how pricey it was, how restaurants charge so much, etc.

I was mortified. When I regained my power of speech, I stammered that I was so sorry and offered to pay for our meals. She refused, but kept going on and on about the cost, like it was a joke we all shared.

I finally got up and left the table on the pretense of showing our toddler a parade that was passing by. How could I have handled this more gracefully?

GENTLE READER: If your friend was not prepared to pay for even a moderately priced restaurant, she should not have proposed that you choose it. Still, Miss Manners suggests that next time, you give your friend a few options and have her choose one herself. That, or stick to restaurants that are on the local parade route.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Lately I've found myself in a position where loved ones decide to do me a "favor," and the result is more hassle than it would have been otherwise. For example, my family kindly brought us dinner during a medical emergency, but asked me to set the table, serve drinks and clean up. They also hassled me about my ice maker not working, and just generally called on me to host in every way when I needed to rest.

I've been given castoff items from "downsizing" family members, and overwhelmingly, it's junk that just needed to be thrown in the trash or donated. I find it hard to believe these donors really think I have a use for their hoarded items, or that they don't realize it becomes a chore for me to dispose of them.

I could name other occasions: a party ostensibly thrown in my honor that completely disregarded my (solicited!) additions to the guest list and misspelled my husband's name on the invitations; "free" furniture that was "rescued" and stored without asking if we wanted it, which we then had to pay to transport.

I find my heart sinking whenever I am asked, "What can I do to help?" because experience has taught me that the "help" will only be a hassle. I don't consider myself a controlling person, but I deeply dislike being put in this position; it makes me feel entitled and ungrateful, even as I feel intruded upon.

Does Miss Manners have any suggestions for gracefully declining offers of these "favors"? What about when the well-wisher insists?

GENTLE READER: For unwanted donations, Miss Manners suggests you practice a firm, "No, thank you, I'm afraid we simply don't have the room." And for the unsolicited help, an equally firm, "We really do not require anything right now, but we will certainly let you know if we do."

If they persist, Miss Manners suggests you come up with practical, simple and hard-to-screw-up tasks for them: a ride to the hospital, perhaps, or a trip to the grocery store to pick up ginger ale. Small and specific is the goal.

But if your loved ones inevitably come up with 38,476 questions about directions to the store, the location of the beverage aisle and the various brands, flavors and prices of ginger ale, Miss Manners is afraid that even she cannot help you. She advises you to get more competent and self-sufficient relatives.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I moved to the South, and people in my area are very religious and go to church regularly. I have no issue with this, but the problem is that folks around here ask which church you belong to.

I am at a loss as to how to answer to this question; I am not religious and was brought up in the Jewish faith. What is a good response to this question?

GENTLE READER: "Thank you, but I am not attending services at the moment. I practice privately."

You need not specify what you practice -- it could be the violin, for all Miss Manners cares -- but the hope is that by virtue of its sounding vague and mysterious, the inquiries will abruptly cease.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)