DEAR MISS MANNERS: I live in a crowded area and parking is a hot topic. My car was parked in my driveway, and as I was loading stuff into the back, a person drove up and asked, "Are you leaving now?" I said, "This is my driveway," and repeated it a few times, adding, "I'm the only one who can park here."

I was honestly confused. They explained that they were asking my permission to park in front of the driveway "for five minutes," which is illegal. I kind of see the logic, but I want to be able to leave my driveway whenever I feel like it. Also, I have no power to allow anyone to park illegally (or to commit any other crime).

I ended up saying "fine," just to be done with it.

Were they wrong in asking me that favor? What should I have said? I honestly didn't need to leave during that five minutes, but it still bothers me.

GENTLE READER: Presuming you were not being asked to assist in a bank robbery incidental to the parking violation, the etiquette question seems, to Miss Manners, to be more interesting than the legal one.

Given her area of expertise, this is fortunate.

The driver asked for a favor. This is not a breach of etiquette, nor is it one you cannot decline if you wish. These days she assumes that anyone, at any moment, could truthfully say, "I'm sorry, I can't, I'm expecting a package." But if that is not the case, there is always, "I need it clear for the next hour."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My widowed sister is remarrying, and I couldn't be happier for the couple. My problem concerns a bridal shower being given by some of her friends, to which I am invited.

I will be the maid of honor and realize it is appropriate for me to at least attend, but the shower is taking place literally halfway across the country from me. I can barely afford the plane ticket for the wedding itself.

Is it acceptable for me to propose to the hostesses that I "attend" via videoconference to let my sister know that I am happy for her, despite my inability to attend the shower in person?

GENTLE READER: "Attending" virtually, is not, as you acknowledge by your use of quotes, the same thing as attending. The technology will, no doubt, continue to evolve. But for now, asking guests to squat in a circle around a computer monitor or phone, jockeying for a position in which they can see and hear the speaker, is an imposition.

Were you an infirm matriarch who could only be included through such means, Miss Manners would agree to such an accommodation for a limited portion of the event. In the situation you describe, your sister will no doubt be far more grateful for an extended phone call at another time, and such assistance as you can provide from a distance.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I don't understand croutons.

I love salad, and would like to enjoy croutons on my salad, but they are the size and shape of dice and the consistency of pumice. They are impossible to stab with a fork, and nearly impossible to balance on one.

My attempts at gracefully rendering them into a more manageable size invariably go awry, sending chunks flying off my plate. I've taken to just picking them up with my fingers and crumbling them over my salad (which is also difficult!) but this feels a little uncouth.

What is the proper way to tackle a crouton? The whole thing reminds me of the ridiculous wedge salad. Salad should not be so difficult as to require more than one utensil, in my opinion.

By the way, I only have this problem at restaurants. At home, I simply enjoy my "croutons" in the form of seasoned breadcrumbs or crumbled seasoned stuffing mix.

GENTLE READER: What Miss Manners doesn't understand is what is going on in the kitchens where these salads are being prepared. Have the sous chefs not tried eating their own salads?

And it's not just those croutons and the lettuce wedges, both of which could be used to play pickleball. What about the tomatoes, cut in quarters or fifths?

You are hereby authorized to ask the waiter quietly to return the salad to the kitchen to be cut into bite-sized pieces.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My brother, who is 16 years younger than me, was just accepted to the university he has dreamed of attending since he was 8 years old. I want to do all that I can to show my support and would love to invite other relatives to do the same.

My brother and I have different fathers, and there are very few relatives remaining on our mother's side, so most of his family members are not related to me and don't know me very well.

I have heard of a new trend called a "bed party," the idea of which is to decorate the bed of a new college student and shower them with gifts, merchandise from their new college and, of course, money. Would it be polite for me to invite others to help me throw one of these parties for my brother, or is this too much like begging on his behalf? I am certain many would be happy to send him a small gift or some cash, but I don't want to obligate them.

If it would be appropriate, should I send announcements in the mail, or should I call or text? I feel that an announcement with an invitation to send a small gift for a surprise "bed party" might give people a way to decline gift-giving without embarrassment.

GENTLE READER: Hardly a day passes when Miss Manners does not hear of yet another party idea that involves presents. And yes, you do risk antagonizing people by soliciting presents and money from them -- especially when they are your brother's relatives who might have already been generous to him.

Just give your brother a congratulatory party, dropping the word "shower." Some guests will bring presents anyway, either because they want to or because they have never heard of a social gathering without that toll. But no one will feel coerced.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Should I say "please" and "thank you" to my virtual assistants? I'm not happy with the ongoing dehumanization of our society -- for example, replacing the jobs of human beings with checkout robots so we don't have to stand in line and look at our neighbors for four minutes.

I don't ordinarily say, "Siri, PLEASE add milk to my grocery list." But at the same time, I feel like we lose something as human beings when we stop being courteous, even to people and things that cannot appreciate it. I'm torn on this.

GENTLE READER: Technically, you need not offer courtesies to inanimate objects, even ones that simulate being your helpmate. The trouble is with the manners of those who no longer distinguish between them and human beings.

There is a difference. And if people would address one another respectfully, there might be even more of a difference.

Miss Manners respectfully requests that those in a position to influence the instructions issued with technology require that commands be issued politely.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband's manager has a habit of calling after work and on weekends, leading to conversations that last for hours about matters that are not urgent. My husband doesn't want to upset his manager, and does enjoy talking with him for shorter conversations.

Once, his manager called me after my husband did not pick up the phone. I told him we were eating dinner, but that he could call back afterwards.

He wouldn't accept no for an answer, so I responded, "Excuse me, what I meant to say is that we WILL have dinner without interruptions." He finally said he would speak to him tomorrow instead.

Was there a more polite way of handling this? How do you politely respond to someone without boundaries?

GENTLE READER: You might ask your husband that. Perhaps he has some thoughts about the boundaries that should be observed between you and his boss.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: After my son's wedding, some sticky situations have arisen with respect to gifts. Some friends and relatives we've been quite close with -- and generous to, throughout their occasions over the years -- have either given my son very minimal gifts or none at all.

Our feelings are rather hurt and we are questioning whether or not these relationships are even worth keeping. If we decide to distance ourselves as a result, do we say why? Or do we raise the issue with them and give them an opportunity to fix it?

I know we're not supposed to focus much on the gift-giving aspect, but when you've given to others all along and feel a lack of caring or thoughtfulness in return, it becomes difficult not to pay attention to it.

GENTLE READER: Evidently you have asked yourself what friends are for, if not to give lavish presents when the occasion presents itself. Under those conditions, you may consider these friendships over. Miss Manners assures you that they will not revive if you let them know the price of your friendship.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)