DEAR MISS MANNERS: Last year, I planned a dinner with seven friends from junior and senior high school (we are all in our 50s now). At the dinner, we decided to make it a monthly thing, with me in charge of planning everything. Most members of the group have attended at least three of the seven get-togethers; however, there are two who only came to the first one. Last month at dinner, we decided to stop inviting those two, so I removed them from our social media group.
Well, needless to say, they are not happy. I know I probably should have let them know that they were being removed before I actually did it, but it's too late for that now. Our first dinner without those two is coming up soon, and I know I will catch some grief once they see the pictures online.
Do you think I was wrong to stop including them? (I'm saying "I" because I will be the one to take the heat from this.)
GENTLE READER: This is so easy to fix that Miss Manners suspects facts not in evidence: All you have to say is, "Completely my fault. I thought because you were not coming, you weren't interested. Of course I'll add you back to the group right this minute."
Did we forget to mention the part of the group discussion that went, "Since none of us can stand either of them, how about we use the excuse that they have not attended to get rid of them?"
Even if this is the case, it is not too late to use the above apology and count on their continued, voluntary non-attendance. It may be less satisfying than telling them that you still have not forgiven them for that incident at the junior high dance, but it will be more polite.