DEAR MISS MANNERS: While sewing thousands of face masks to donate to family, friends and society in general, I decided it made sense to have two sewing machines. A woman in my social circle had a sewing machine sitting unused, so I asked if I could buy it from her.

She was excited to be rid of the machine, and said she needed the $350 to purchase swim clothes. I knew I would have to give the machine a proper cleaning, but I ended up having to take it to a mechanic -- another $300 investment on my part. He said it was lucky I didn't try to use the machine, as the threads wound up inside would have caused serious damage.

Although my friend may not have understood why the machine wasn't working properly, she KNEW it was having problems. Yet she said nothing to me prior to taking my money.

I have not confronted her. She has a habit of playing the innocent victim, acting like she doesn't understand why someone is upset with her. Instead, I have simply backed off, and excluded her from my friendship. I have not discussed the situation with anyone else.

She's been telling anyone who will listen how awful I've treated her and how she's been left without a sewing machine, as though she made a great sacrifice on my behalf. This is beginning to cause problems with the other gals, who are questioning my treatment of her.

Is there a point at which I should speak up, or should I continue to remain silent?

GENTLE READER: Your friend may not have sold you a working machine, but she gave you an iron-clad response to anyone who repeats her calumnies: "Really? I'm surprised. When she sold me the machine, she told me she was happy to get rid of it as she was not using it. I don't think she realized that it needed serious repairs."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received a dinner invitation from my brother-in-law because family from another state were visiting. We accepted, and a few days before the planned event, my brother-in-law said he planned on making lamb.

When he realized that I don't eat lamb, he said, "I can throw a piece of chicken on the grill, or would you rather bring your own food?"

Caught off guard, I just said, "Chicken is OK." In hindsight, I am thinking this was rather tacky, especially because I regularly host dinners at our home without asking anyone to bring anything. How should I have responded -- or am I overanalyzing this?

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners recognizes that the accepted opposite of overanalyzing is "moving on" (whatever that means), she cannot help but feel that a bit more analysis is needed.

Your brother-in-law invited you to dinner, gave you a preview of the menu -- so that you had a chance to voice concerns -- and then, when you did, offered an alternative. You are calling him tacky for this? The response you are looking for is "Thank you," perhaps with an added apology for being a bother.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm about to graduate from college. While attending school, I have worked multiple jobs at a time, volunteered, participated in extracurriculars, done research, and ultimately will graduate in the expected amount of time for my degree.

It was hard and stressful, and I never got the same social experience that most of my peers did, but it paid off. I've had a good job lined up for months in my desired field, in a location I couldn't be happier about. I try not to flaunt this, but it does come up in normal conversation with classmates, friends and family, especially when discussing post-graduation plans.

I often hear things like, "Your resume is going to be so great -- I can only put silly things on mine," or, "I was nowhere near as successful as you. I wish I could do it over again."

These are good people who shouldn't be putting themselves down. I believe that a compliment should always be graciously accepted, but in cases like these, I'm at a loss. How do I respond without implying that I agree with their disparaging comments about themselves?

GENTLE READER: Such compliments are common, perhaps because the giver does not realize how ungracious comparisons are.

Miss Manners does not, however, find them challenging to answer: "Thank you; I'm sure your resume is impressive."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A scenario recently came up in a conversation where one spouse comes home from work and the other is talking on the phone. Would it be considered rude if the one talking on the phone continues with their conversation?

GENTLE READER: It would be rude if that person did not.

That said, Miss Manners makes no objection to using it as an excuse to conclude the call with the friend who calls to tell you every detail of his recent doctor's appointment or about his trip to the dry cleaner.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My mother and I each received a Wi-Fi photo frame from my sister-in-law. She knows we have a new grandchild/great-grandchild on the way, and she wanted us to be able to get photos of them through the frame. How thoughtful, right?

While we've expressed our thanks for her thoughtfulness, neither of us wants the gift. It seems like just one more device to set up, maintain and clutter up our homes. We really don't want to bother with all that. So we sent a thank-you without mentioning that we didn't like it.

Now she keeps asking us to let her know when the frames are set up so she can start sending pics of my grandnieces. How do we politely let her know that's not going to happen?

GENTLE READER: We don't. Nor do we need to. Your goal is to get your sister-in-law to stop pestering you and hand over the photos, not to make her feel bad about her presents.

Miss Manners sometimes sidesteps technological demands by pleading incompetence, but this would merely bring down upon you assistance setting up the device you do not want. Better to say you are ready for the photos now and, when your sister-in-law comes snooping, explain that you have been experimenting with different locations -- not mentioning that you are referring to storage places -- but are looking forward to seeing the pictures.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Do you have any ideas on how to stop my husband from yelling and cussing? He's a good person and doesn't cuss at me, but almost everything makes him mad. Except for me, he calls everyone names -- even his mother -- but never to their faces.

He is always polite in front of people, but I have to listen to him complain about everyone, every day. I can't listen to any more of it.

How can I keep my marriage but get him to stop? I'm at a loss. He won't talk to anyone about it.

GENTLE READER: Have you tried "Honey, that upsets me"?

Evidently, your husband can control his anger when he does not want to upset other people. And he is under the common but disastrous mistake of believing that he need not exhibit such manners at home.

Miss Manners is afraid that you will have to explain to him gently that the consequences of making life unpleasant in one's own home are far greater than those of annoying outsiders.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had two tickets to the ballet and wanted my friend to go with me. I called and asked if she'd like to go, and she said "we" (she and her husband) would love to.

I was shocked and uncertain of how to respond. Did I do something wrong, or did she? Is every invitation to a married person assumed to include the spouse?

GENTLE READER: But you doubtless said, "Would you like to go to the ballet with me?" And that is a problem of the English language, where "you" is both singular and plural. Trying to make the distinction has led to the use of the colloquial "you all" (or "y'all") and the often misapplied "you guys."

Married people should be invited as couples to evening social events and ceremonial ones, such as weddings. Such invitations as yours, or invitations to luncheon, may be issued to one person, who can then decide whether or not to go it alone.

Next time, Miss Manners suggests that you open with, "I have an extra ticket." You can still say it in this case: "Oh, I'd love to see Zach another time, but I have only one extra ticket."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I'm in my mid 60s, and am encountering more and more situations where friends and family repeat the same stories.

I guess I should consider myself fortunate that I can remember who I have told what, but I would appreciate a gentle way to remind someone that they have told me a particular story more than once, or that they told me the story the day before.

I'm trying my best to be patient, but sometimes I just want to scream.

GENTLE READER: Please don't. But neither do you have to sit through the same story over and over.

The polite stop signal is "Oh, yes, I remember; I love that story." Miss Manners suggests beaming at the speaker and starting a related topic.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)