DEAR MISS MANNERS: It looks like my niece will be getting engaged to her companion of several years. They are lovely young women, both college graduates, both with good jobs. They have the support of both families.

My niece has never lived in the town where the rest of the family lives and where her mother (my sister) grew up. She will be here this spring, and I would like to invite close family and friends to meet her fiancee and say hi to my niece. This is not a shower, just a family dinner.

I would like to word the invitation: "We are pleased to announce our niece, Mia, has recently become engaged to Jordan, a delightful woman from Chicago. We would like you to join us for dinner on Saturday, March 15 at 6 to see Mia and meet Jordan. Please let me know if you can join us."

I thought it necessary to add the "delightful woman" wordage because her name could be a man's or woman's.

Does this sound appropriate? What do I do if people ask about presents? It will be a small wedding out of town, so most of the guests will not be invited.

GENTLE READER: There is no need to announce the reason for having a dinner party, merely that you are having it. This, Miss Manners points out, will not only eliminate the need for superfluous details, but also for guests asking about presents.

"Please join us for dinner on March 15th at 6 p.m." will suffice. Then, at the dinner, give a toast to the happy couple, introduce your prospective niece-in-law, and announce their engagement. As a bonus, this plan will make it far less rude when these same guests are not invited to the wedding.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have been part of a "family meal swap" for a little over a year now, but recently, the woman in charge specified a menu for everybody to cook, including specific ingredients and side dishes. When I joined this meal swap, I did it to taste other families' dishes and expand my own cooking. Now I feel kind of peeved that I have to cook somebody else's specific menu.

I don't think that it's wrong that I feel this way, but I am unsure how to approach it with the hostess. My first instinct is just to lie and say I'm too busy after this first month's rotation, but I like and respect her enough that I feel I should tell her the truth. Thoughts?

GENTLE READER: That you tell her why before ghosting her: "I'm afraid that I must have misinterpreted the point of this meal swap. While your menu plan sounds tasty, I thought we were making and trying new dishes. I understand if, as hostess, you want to change the plan, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to join anymore."

And then Miss Manners asks that you wait a respectable amount of time before starting up your own meal swap and poaching all of this person's guests.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Three years ago, my sister bought a puppy for her husband. I won't go into the myriad of reasons why this was an epic mistake, but let's just say that neither of them is a good dog owner.

I've had a number of dogs, and they have never had the issues this poor dog exhibits. The poor animal is confused and has severe fear aggression, lunging at people with all teeth bared, for example.

Several months ago, it bit me, an injury that required a trip to the emergency room. I have indicated that my children and I will no longer visit them, and I have encouraged them to look for a new home for the dog, as it is clear that this dog needs to be with people who understand dog psychology. But a dog trainer she has occasionally worked with encourages her to keep the dog.

The complication comes with other family members. My aunt and uncle don't know about the dog biting me. However, when I indicated my concern that my sister and her husband would lose everything if the dog bit a stranger -- or worse -- they responded that my sister has a responsibility to keep the dog and shouldn't "abandon" it!

I am furious at my aunt and uncle for putting this type of pressure on my sister. I am also furious at my sister for endangering other people and being an irresponsible dog owner.

We are supposed to have a family reunion next summer in my sister's area of the country. In the past, my kids and I would have stayed at her house, but that is out of the question. However, my sister and her husband want to host one party at their house for the whole family. How can I gently express my concerns that she could be putting other family members at risk?

GENTLE READER: When you and your sister were growing up, did she always take your advice?

Miss Manners suspects not, and it seems clear that she has made up her mind in this instance, rendering further expressions of concern futile.

Of course, this does not preclude you from telling your aunt and uncle how very sorry you are to miss the party, but after your emergency room trip two months ago, you will not be attending. Such a less-is-more approach to the story will elicit their curiosity -- and therefore be more effective.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am unsure when to serve guests at an informal dinner party. When we are fixing plates in the kitchen and then bringing them to the dining room, it seems polite to serve a guest first. But then the guest sits at the table, food getting cold, until everyone else is served and ready. What is the best move here?

GENTLE READER: You can reduce the cooling time somewhat by telling guests to start before you do. Beyond that, Miss Manners wonders how cold the house is, and how hot you need the food to be, that a few minutes to give the guest first pick will make any difference.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I arrived home to find a knocked-over potted plant on my porch. It was not there before, and did not belong to me. Upon righting it, I discovered a sealed card with a name on it that was neither mine nor my partner's.

I deduced that this plant must be a gift for someone, misdelivered to the wrong address. Since all I had to go on was the name on the card's envelope, I went into my local social media groups, trying to find this person, but have thus far been unsuccessful.

I'm at a loss as to what to do. I've considered opening the envelope to perhaps determine if a particular florist or nursery delivered the plant, so that I could contact the business and let them know that they misdelivered it, but opening an envelope addressed to another person is overstepping a boundary that I am not willing to cross. I'm also not willing to keep a plant that isn't intended for me, nor am I willing to throw it out -- someone evidently paid money for someone else to have it, after all.

What should I do in this situation?

GENTLE READER: Sorry, what was that? Miss Manners got distracted wondering if a knocked-over potted plant is, technically, an unpotted plant.

You are quite right not to open another person's mail. If you cannot find any clue -- perhaps a label identifying the delivery service, which can then be asked to cart it away -- treat it as one used to treat any other potted guest: Give it a decent amount of time in a quiet corner to recover itself (or be reclaimed by its owner), after which you may, in good conscience, allow it to stay or pass it on to some organization that will care for it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Since the pandemic has changed all of our lives, our daughter has begun opting out of family functions altogether. She makes suspicious claims that the pandemic is steering her decisions, all the while inviting her personal friends and construction/cleaning crews to her home for matters that meet her personal needs.

We are growing weary of the repeated "Thanks, but no thanks" responses to our invitations, only to hear later that she spent a weekend with friends or that her kitchen was just remodeled by a local construction crew.

Part of me wants to be a loving parent with no conditions, but I'm not very resilient when it comes to blatant rebuffs by my offspring. This has gone on since the pandemic began. I'm at my wit's end and ready to give up.

GENTLE READER: Using a polite fiction to avoid hurting feelings is not always wrong, but when done wrong, it hurts feelings even more.

Miss Manners trusts that you realize that you may not be able to force your daughter's attendance. But you can ask that she either dispense with the excuse -- or put more effort into making it believable.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)