DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter has been ill for 13 years with a rare, chronic, often-debilitating disease. She finally had an allogenic bone marrow transplant, but has not responded as well as we'd hoped. People have brought us meals and done other thoughtful things, and many donated money to help with expenses. Her husband took unpaid family leave, and they have a little boy we cannot send to preschool due to my daughter's weakened immune system. (We have had a couple of amazing in-home babysitters instead.)
My daughter wants to write thank-you notes. But she has NO energy, and her hands shake. She has a list of people to thank going back to May of last year. May she send a computer-printed thank-you note inside of a card? I can handle addressing them for her.
GENTLE READER: Everyone understands that the law weighs the circumstances of a transgression before reaching judgment. So why does everyone assume that etiquette mercilessly condemns violations without considering the motivation?
Your daughter wants to do the right thing, and you can help her do it, either on the computer or by taking her dictation. There is no chance in the world that the people who have helped her, who obviously know her situation, will sneer at receiving thanks that is not handwritten by her.