DEAR MISS MANNERS: It appears that I am old-fashioned. I do not have a cellphone. I do not have caller identification. I do not have an answering machine. When I receive a phone call, I have no technological assistance in identifying the caller.
My parents instructed me to always begin a phone call by identifying myself, such as: "This is Kristen; may I speak with ..." This practice seems to have fallen out of date; when I answer the phone, very few of my callers introduce themselves.
Although I do recognize the voices of family and close friends, there are many callers whose voices are unfamiliar, prompting me to ask, "With whom am I speaking?"
My question is often followed with a pause, as if I have just insulted the caller by not recognizing their voice or their identity. Have the rules changed? Is it still appropriate to identify oneself at the commencement of a phone call?
GENTLE READER: It is always polite to identify oneself, but in these days of nearly ubiquitous caller identification, people have begun to assume that the technology has done that for them.
The caller may not even realize it has not been done. Miss Manners suggests you defuse the situation with, "Excuse me, but I have an old-fashioned telephone. With whom am I speaking?" While it is strangely considered insulting (or self-deprecating) to label a person old-fashioned, it should not hurt your telephone.