DEAR MISS MANNERS: My neighbors bought a third vehicle for their family. Because their driveway is narrow, they have begun parking two of their vehicles to the side of the drive, on the lawn toward the side of my front yard.

When a family in this part of the world has too many cars for the driveway, the usual procedure is to construct a rock or shell "off-parking pad" that clearly delineates where vehicles are to be parked and keeps the lawns from being torn up when wet. My neighbors have not constructed any sort of containment area, and I have noticed that their parking is gradually creeping forward and getting closer and closer to my front lawn.

I don't want to start a feud over this problem, but I also don't want my neighbors parking on my lawn.

GENTLE READER: It is challenging to forestall anticipated bad behavior, because it means accusing people of things they have not actually done. "Near your garden" and "in your garden" are different, in both law and etiquette.

The solution is to establish boundaries -- usually metaphorically, but in your case, also literally. Build a fence, plant a bush or provide a strip of bare dirt or gravel -- something that will at least make it clear when an infraction has occurred, and preferably will give warning before it does.

Miss Manners recognizes your desire to take more active measures, but she assures you that the sudden appearance of a boundary marker will not pass unnoticed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: One of my best friends enjoys showing her love with gifts. We have children who are the same age, and she sends my children a gift for every holiday: Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, Easter, Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, plus birthdays.

I used to reciprocate, which I know she greatly appreciated, but now I find the time, effort and cost to be too stressful. And to be honest, I feel that eight gifts a year per child is excessive.

My husband and I decided we will only send gifts for birthdays and Christmas. I wanted to have a conversation with her about it, but was afraid she would be insulted. So I thought she would get the hint when I stopped sending the extra gifts, but that hasn't happened either.

What is the best way to manage this situation? We appreciate her generosity, but feel overwhelmed by it.

GENTLE READER: Giving eight gifts per year to the children of a friend does seem excessive, even without knowing the specific number of children involved.

While you know your friend best, Miss Manners would not have been surprised that scaling back your own largesse, without explanation, was too subtle for her. And if she is unaware of your feelings, she may take offense at the suspension of reciprocity.

Tell her you are overwhelmed by her generosity over the years, but now that the children are growing up, it is time to scale back. She is more likely to be disappointed than insulted, which is why stressing your gratitude (without giving ground) is the approach most likely to succeed.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My name is unusual, and admittedly not pronounced the way it looks on paper to English speakers. Because of that, I usually answer to all sorts of permutations of my name when speaking with people with whom I do not have either a friendly or business relationship.

However, with people I expect to work with or see more frequently, I offer the correct pronunciation of my name the first few times they get it wrong. If they are really struggling with it, I even offer a mnemonic to help them to remember. My name consists of only two syllables, so it is not that difficult to get it right.

For how long should I offer assistance to people who, for whatever reason, just can't get it right?

GENTLE READER: At a certain point -- and there is no hard rule about when this happens -- repetition of the mistake becomes studied disrespect.

Rather than give up, that is the time to identify a third party in a position of authority: a spouse, a boss, a mutual friend -- or a human resources director.

What you are seeking from that person is not advice (which is easy for them to give), but some personal intervention, and it is therefore necessary to be direct.

Well, somewhat direct. "I am sure this is not meant as intentional disrespect," Miss Manners would have you say to the third party, when soliciting their intervention, "but because it has been going on for months, it feels that way to me." This gives the offender a way out without letting the third party off so easily.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I think I was taught good table manners, including not talking with your mouth full, keeping your lips closed while chewing, not gulping food, etc. But I am wondering if I missed an important point.

I've lately noticed several women -- my sister, my daughter-in-law and a couple of friends -- who cover their mouths with their left hands while they are chewing. The food is conveyed to their mouths with the fork held in the right hand, and the fork and right hand rest on the plate until the next bite.

Did I miss something? Is it more polite or delicate to cover one's mouth while chewing? I've occasionally copied this, and my husband chides me for having my hands on my face.

GENTLE READER: As you are on intimate terms with the people in question, you might ask them where they got this strange notion. Your sister cannot claim a different cultural background from you.

Miss Manners suspects this is a misguided attempt to ensure 100% compliance with the principle of not being seen chewing with one's mouth open.

Etiquette has many rules to protect people from the unpleasant sights, smells and sounds of their nearest and dearest. She relies on everyone not only to apply them in good faith -- but also to overlook tiny infractions by others. Making up new rules is not only confusing, it is endless, as there is always another percent of a percent to be found.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I adore my longtime boyfriend and the happy life we have built together. There is, however, a recurring issue over which we cyclically disagree: his birthday.

While never truly enjoying getting older, I have always enjoyed celebrating my own birthday -- what a wonderful excuse to see loved ones and share a good time over food and/or drinks! My boyfriend, however, sees his birthday in an entirely different light.

Sharing a life with him, I am privy to some of the horror stories that were his birthdays growing up. To be blunt, they weren't great. But that life is decades behind him.

We, an out and proud gay couple, have been blessed with many friends who have become as dear to us as any blood kin could ever be. They have regularly expressed their desire to celebrate his birthday over the years. Sadly, my boyfriend will often lie to them (or expect me to do so!) about his exact birthday, claiming the date has already passed.

I think this behavior is selfish. I've had plenty of bad birthdays, even with people I love, but I would never think to use that as a feeble excuse to justify deceit. What's more, I'm crushed that we have so many wonderful people in our lives who want to celebrate this wonderful man, and he takes offense!

He claims the effort and energy of showing appreciation over gifts or muddling through small talk (which, to be fair, isn't his forte) just makes the day about everyone else and all the more difficult to bear.

I don't know how to justify this mentality to myself or others. I've suggested he talk to a professional about it, but to me it seems he's simply hellbent on denying our loved ones the chance to celebrate him and show their happiness that he was born. Instead, he's chosen contempt!

Please, help! What is the kind and gracious approach to show him the error of his ways? How do I stop these faux pas that are cavalier at best, and cruel at worst?

GENTLE READER: And demonstrate your love and appreciation by forcing him to endure an event he finds unpleasant?

It is possible that in addition to his bad memories, he has seen too much of people using birthdays as a self-centered test for others to prove their devotion, usually concluding that they failed. But that hardly matters. The important part is that the gentleman does not enjoy these parties. Are you seriously suggesting that he seek therapy for this?

Miss Manners hopes you and his friends will find ways to show him appreciation that he actually enjoys.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know about the existence of dessert spoons and forks, as well as their placement and purpose. But I still don't understand how to eat with them.

Eat the cake with the fork and leave the spoon alone? Eat the ice cream with the spoon and leave the fork? If there's a sauce, do I -- or may I -- eat with the fork and mop up with the spoon? Do you ever use both at once?

GENTLE READER: Indeed you do: That is the default method at formal meals, used for every dessert except those when it would be ridiculous. So please do not let Miss Manners hear of your applying a spoon to cake or a fork to ice cream (unless it is an ice cream fork).

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)